(Closed) People assume they are invited…share your funny self-invite story!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill

I literally had a girlfriend ask via text when I told her I was engaged “Ooo can I be a bridesmaid?” and went on and on and on. She at least said she shouldn’t have asked but still. It was brutal because I was not even considering her and I have 6 bridesmaids (we are not that close – she is a bit of an unstable person)! I was shocked she asked. Worst was she told one of my bridemaids in private that if I don’t ask her she is going to be upset and will want to know why!!!! I think she is slowly starting to get over it… I on the other hand am having a hard time forgetting about it. I now get to see what happens when my Maid/Matron of Honor who just got engaged annouces it to this friend since they are even closer and I don’t think my Maid/Matron of Honor wants her in her wedding party either.

Hope this doesn’t sound catty. You really have to know this girl and what she is like… makes bad life decisions, crazy mood swings, says really inappropriate things to people she doesn’t know well, gets offended easily. We have known her since highschool.

Post # 47
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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cooperlove:  wow, that is next level crazy on his part. You did well to stand up for yourself!

Post # 48
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

my supervisor is a nice lady, but we aren’t friends out of work. of course, everyone at work knows i’m getting married, and she and i talk about wedding stuff and she’s usually really sweet, but awkward (like asking about prices for stuff).

during a recent check in meeting with her, she asked how wedding planning was going, then she told me, “when i got married i felt like i had to invite my boss even though i really didn’t want her there. so, just want you to know theres NO pressure to invite me, and like i totally won’t be offended, and neither will (list of other managers) if they aren’t invited, or if you choose to only invite some of us. totally your call!”

gee, thanks…?

i literally stared at her. and just smiled, tried not to laugh and said “yeah, i’s gonna be… um. just close family and friends.”

what in the hell…

Post # 50
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

My neighnor from down the street whom I occasionally run into and chat with while walking the dogs told me she can’t wait for the wedding. I was like “ummm ok”. I’m not even going to humor her. It’s rude and annoying 

Post # 51
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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misswhereami:  every since we got engaged in June we have been getting “harrassed” by FI’s Aunt on Facebook. We aren’t close with her, we barely know her, it has been ridiculous. After my sister stepped in and pretty much told her to stop asking for an invite because it is rude, she has stopped. But not before calling my mom and sister some very rude names and saying that she deserves an invite over our friends because she is family. 

Problem with our situation is that we won a free wedding, and we are now the faces of a marketing campaign for a hotel and magazine here in Chicago. It is really awesome but it brought out the family we don’t talk to. Everyone told me to stop documenting my wedding on FB so that she couldn’t see anything, but I couldn’t since it was part of the agreement with the hotel. 

Here is a picture of what she was doing. There are only a few of the screenshots, but we saved them all and we hve close to 30 screenshots from her.

Post # 52
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

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svnnh09:  OMG!!! I would slap a restraining order on that woman! holy crap!

Post # 53
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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artezig:  trust me, I want to! She called my sister a brat. Told us that FI’s mom would want us there, so therfore she needs to be invited. My sister commented back and said  “It doesn’t matter WHO wants YOU there, what matters is who THEY want there. It’s their wedding, not FI’s moms.” She has since stopped the craziness, but I am so scared that she is still going to show up at the wedding since everyone on FB knows where and when it is going down. 

Post # 54
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

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svnnh09:  Yikes! Reminds me of my crazy aunt, who actually hates me for really no reason. She would randomly message my friends on facebook to spread nasty lies about me whenever she would get into an argument with my mother…anyway, she has threatened to crash the wedding, even though she lives in Switzerland and we are geting married in California! I’ve since made my wedding website private, and have kept info about the venue secure. Our venue package also includes a security guard haha. Maybe you should look into hiring security!! Best of luck, Bee! You don’t need added stress on your day!

Post # 55
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I work in a hospital, and was going to invite just the girls on my night shift crew. Thankfully I did not say anything yet to anyone because once they all found out I was engaged, EVERYONE asked when it was, when I am sending invites out etc etc.

I ended up just not inviting anyone from my place of work and so many people got butt hurt. I didn’t want to drama of inviting some and not the others.

I don’t think people understand this crap costs money.

Post # 56
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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mfox89:  I had somebody ask to be a bridesmaid as well and I also didn’t make her one. I wanted a small bridal party so I could pay for everything myself and also because there is less chance of drama if there are fewer people involved. I think she got over it (as did the other girls I didn’t ask) but I felt really guilty about it. In the end though, my bridal party were exactly the girls I wanted with me. 

Post # 57
Member
489 posts
Helper bee

A girl that works with my husband sent these messages about a month or two before our wedding. It was bad, lol. But I think my husband handled it well (sorry for how it looks, my husband can’t screenshot on his phone, so I took pictures of the screen, and sorry for the awkward cropping and the one blurry message, I didn’t want to show her profile picture and she also gave us her address)

Post # 58
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

One of my friends from high school, who was also friends with my FI/ a lot of his friends went totally crazy when she was our roommate for a year. She stole from us, called my mom to say I was doing drugs when she couldn’t find where I was (I was at a study group for a class) and overall it was a miserable year for my Fiance and I. When we moved out I told her not to contact me again. 

When we got engaged she sent me a Facebook message saying she was upset I didn’t tell her we got engaged because she thought we were closer than that… Then she started talking to our mutual friends to figure out where the wedding is. THEN I got 3 texts a day for a month saying things like, “you wouldn’t even have (your FI) if it weren’t for me” and “I can’t believe you really want me to sit this out”. Since I haven’t responded to her all year the texts have slowed down, but you better bet that the venue security will have her name and picture. 

Post # 59
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

One of my dad’s Groomsmen was his friend/boss from his side job when he was in his late twenties to early thirties. My dad quit working there but we would still go around (it was a recreation center) and I used to “play” with his 2 daughters. Later on I worked at the same rec center with his youngest daughter but I had quit when I was 18. Fast forward to being 23 and engaged the youngest daughter wrote to me on Facebook just saying congrats and what not and at the end of the conversation she was like “you better invite me.” I cannot remember what I said but I just think I changed the subject or didn’t respond at all. Uhm… I haven’t seen or talked to you in 6 years…

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by Bellebee31.
Post # 60
Member
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Oyyy… haha my cousins’ wife (I feel I should mention that I have 35 first cousins and over 150 2nd, 3rd, 4th cousins as well) that I barely know and was NOT planning on inviting because they live 1200 miles away and again……. don’t really know them, goes “We are so excited for your wedding! Just make sure it’s not on a football game day, and I THINK we’ll be able to make it, but it’s hunting season so we’ll have to let you know once we get the invite!”. I was APPALLED! My parents told me to just suck it up and invite them although we were trying to keep our number to 150, so we had to. Guess who ended up not even giving us the courtesy of their RSVP when we paid for postage for everything? I had to call and confirm if they were coming or not, which they didn’t. Yepp. Sooo classy.

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