- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Just a little vent here… I had my bridal shower last weekend, which was really great – I had a great time and I enjoyed visiting with everyone who came. But FI’s grandma came in from Oklahoma… and every single gift that she brought was religious (and Christian) in nature – the card had two bible verses, the coasters had bible verses on them, a photo frame with the lord’s prayer, and several signs/placards with various prayer-related things on them…
I tried to be as gracious as possible and thanked her for her gifts, but it certainly made the “thank you” note process really difficult – how do you thank someone for a gift you have no intention of using, have no need for, and do not even believe in? I just thanked her for coming and for her support and left it at that… the gifts will likely be donated to a local charity so that someone who likes that kind of thing can get some use out of it.
Another couple gave us a card with “your marriage will be very good as long as god is at the middle of it!”, which was just as presumptuous and more insulting, actually, because it said implicitly that without god our marriage wouldn’t be “very good”.
I know that they meant well. I know that the intent was good, it was not malicious at all – we have hardly seen FI’s grandmother at all since she is in rather frail health and lives several hours away. That being said, she doesn’t KNOW if we are religious or not, she doesn’t KNOW if we are Christian or not. She just assumed. I imagine her faith means a lot to her and she probably just wants to share that with us. But come on… people need to think about these things prior to doing them and how it might make people who are not Christian feel.
It’s so irritating – I try hard not to make assumptions about what others may believe, and it irritates me when others don’t give me the same courtesy. I guess when you live in an area of the country where being non-Christian is an extreme minority you get lazy and assume everyone is.
I just wonder how the types of people that do this would feel if an atheist/[minority faith] here gave them a bunch of gifts relating to that faith/non-faith/whatever. It’s a pretty crappy feeling, like this religion is being forced on you, even if that wasn’t the intent. Not to mention really a waste of money.
grr… dealing with this in a classy and mature way is difficult, but unfortunately trying to make a point/learning lesson out of this would probably be more than I want to deal with. 🙁 Just have to keep thinking about how the intent was good and leave it at that, I guess.