(Closed) People Assuming You're Christian

posted 8 years ago in Secular
Post # 17
3355 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@rbabyrolle:  I agree with what you have said. I wouldn’t have as much of an issue with “hope you have a blessed marriage” vs “your marriage will blossom with God at its core”.

Post # 18
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

So…My cousin is really invested in gay culture and passionate about gay rights–goes to the rallies, volunteers at a local support group, rainbows on the car etc. etc.

I’m also preggers and have gotten one or two cards that have religious overtones in celebration of the baby. Which I kinda shrugged and let it go–no one’s sent jr. a crucifix mobile or anything yet, so eh.

BUT. This got me thinking: whenever people give out cards that are about spreading God’s love and Jesus’ love and blessings, blessings, blessings because hey–how could anyone NOT want all that?? it makes me wonder: is that really any different if my cousin were to send a gay pride rainbow onesie for our kid? Or if he were to send us a card that said something like, “Congratulations on your marriage, but I hope you recognize how lucky you are that you can get married. I made a donation for the campaign to support gay marriage in your names. YAY EQUALITY!!”

Wedding gifts are not the time to spread personal philosophies. Just get the couple a damn blender and a card with penguins on it or something.

Post # 20
8036 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@echoica:  I am sure I’d react the same way as you.. and it’s good to handle it w. class as you did!

I can’t say this has ever happened to me… people have been very understanding that I am not religious. I guess most people I associate with aren’t very religious either… or we steer clear of those type of convos. When I gift I always err on the side of caution, but I guess not all people do.

I guess it’s just people who are stuck in their ways who do this generally. You’ll sometimes get the bible-thumping in your face, judgy types which you just have to ignore.


Post # 22
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Since it was his grandmother I wonder, was he born/baptized Christian? I would assume since you said you don’t see her often that she knew his faith at birth. 

I see this discussion a different way. Full disclousure I am Catholic (not a very good one) BUT I don’t like the sort of cards and such and we don’t even have a cross in our apt. However, these are cards I would get from family members along with actual blessings with holy water before getting on a plane (not kidding and I live a plane ride away from my family so I have plenty of experience). HOWEVER, I see it as they believe they are helping me and it makes them feel I am safe/happy/healthy when they pray for me. Even if you don’t believe in the same God (or any God) your relatives are praying to their God to watch over you. They are not dragging you to their church or asking you to get blessed with holy water. This is just how they wish you well in their way. I would just thank them for thinking of you and your upcoming marriage. Would you be offended if you got a card that said Mozel Tov?

Post # 23
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

slicey19, I was wondering a similar thing. My grandma is very Catholic, and she knows that I am a converted Protestant. Yet she still gets legitmatly confused about why we aren’t being married by a priest. Sometimes old people have trouble with change.


Post # 25
5982 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@echoica:  oh my! I totally agree. I hate that people assume when people are Christian or even religious. its so offensive and ignorant.. People always wishing me Merry Christmas and Happy Easter and say other ignorant things. Just because they are important to you dont assume they mean anyting to me. Yes, I am religious, I study the Torah. But, you dont see me walking around telling everyone Shabbat Shalom or Chag Purim Sameach!


Post # 26
2353 posts
Buzzing bee

Some people seem to do all their gift shopping at Christian bookstores. 

It’s frustrating. I am a Christian, and I can’t stand some of that stuff. 

Nice that you’re thinking of donating it. No doubt someone somewhere will love it.

Post # 28
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I actually am quite religious, though my SO is not and we’re definitely not into the asthetic of most things found in Christian bookstores! But I just wanted to comment because I can totally relate to people assuming similar things–not that I’m Christian, but BECAUSE I’m Christian, I must be conservative, must be against gay marriage, and must love Focus on the Family!! I posted something about Chick-Fil-A supporting organizations I don’t agree with on my Facebook wall (which I actually promptly deleted because I knew it would cause drama!!) and .5 seconds later my aunt messages me and says “Actually Chick-Fil-A supports Focus on the Family, a wonderful Christian organization that promotes Traditional Family Values” and then went on to remind me that I should be standing up for Christian values too since I want to be a minister (since obviously all Christians believe the same things). 

Gah. People annoy me sometimes! So all of that is to say…even as a Christian, I can totally feel your pain when relatives/others assume you’re religious without even really knowing!!

Post # 29
4322 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

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@echoica:  I agree with you; injecting religion on people who may not believe is inappropriate. 

But, I’m going to play God’s advocate (in this case). You mentioned the gift giver was elderly and frail: Maybe she doesn’t get out much? Maybe she’s regifting these items to you, or lives close to a religious store, and it’s the only place she could get to? 

I understand that you’re put off by the items because of the theology involved, but her heart was in the right place. If it was a regift, maybe the bible verses in the card was meant to “tie it all together” since it wasn’t necessarily the best gift ever. 

I get where you’re coming from though. I am not of a particular religion, so it’s irritating when DH’s mother in particular gets pushy with her religion, and projects it onto our future children. 

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