People can't hear me when I talk?

posted 3 months ago in Weddingbee
Post # 2
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

The issue seems to be you talk quietly, there’s nothing wrong with speaking quiet but your friend has told you the issue. It’ll be why folk aren’t acknowledging you, they’re not hearing you. Im not sure what the answer is except to maybe working on better voice projection rather than being Louder 

Post # 4
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Hi bee, I’ve always had this issue all my life and i thought it was a volume thing but as ppl said realised it was a projection thing. Once at work a colleague was talking about someone in the office who you could hardly hear and i said well my voice is quiet too and he said no i wouldn’t say that. I now make a concious effort to not mumble and look up etc and have noticed ppl seem to respond more.. i guess also i realised sometimes people are in their own bubble and actually don’t hear you either i would hope rather than consciously ignoring. 

Post # 6
482 posts
Helper bee

Try recording yourself speaking in what you consider a normal tone of voice, and then listen to it outside or with the tv on (not in a quiet room).  You might notice what others do – you speak quietly.  My husband speaks quietly, and I often find myself asking him to repeat himself because I just didn’t catch what he said.  If you speak quickly, that also might hinder peopel from hearing what you’ve said.

Post # 7
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard

I have this same problem! It is so beyond frustrating. Let me know if you ever figure this out. Someone told me I need to speak from my diaphragm more than my speaking from my throat/face. Honestly loud people annoy me so I’d rather be soft spoken, but it’s something I want to work in because people are always getting my order wrong, not listening to me in meetings, etc.

Post # 8
1245 posts
Bumble bee

My husband speak in a normal voice and in groups I have no problem hearing him, but at home, unless we’re sitting face to face having a conversation, I often miss at least the first half of what he’s saying because he start off suddenly, mumbling, and I’m not paying attention (as I wasn’t expecting him to speak), so I often ask him to repeat.

Same in shops or on the street, if you come up to someone when they’re not expecting it, they might not notice / hear you at first unless you’re being deliberately louder (like if I want to ask the shop attendant something, say they might be working on the shelves, I would raise my voice to get their attention, speaking in a normal volume might not). In public, I’ve “ignored” people quite a few times because I had my ear phones in or just being in my own world / not expecting to see someone I knew, until they are literally tapping me on the shoulder or waving their hands in my face, and they often say “I called out to you a few times”. 

In meetings, I find certainly one of the women in our team tend to get “ignored” if she suddenly speaks up, I wouldn’t say she’s quiet but if not everyone was expecting you to speak, you need to be much louder than normal to get everyone’s attention. 

All that is to say… maybe you speak quietly and you can work on projection, or maybe you just need to be what you consider as LOUD in certain situations where you need to initially get people’s attention. But it’s probably important to note not to take things so personally, as it’s most likely not deliberate / not about you.

Post # 9
1448 posts
Bumble bee

I work with a few people who talk very quietly and mumble and it’s beyond frustrating keep asking them to repeat themselves. A lot of the time I’m not even aware they’ve said anything if there’s background noise. I would rather someone be too loud than too quiet as at least I can hear them. 

I’m sure like you they think they’re speaking at normal levels, but if you’re having repeated issues with people not hearing you and your friend has said it’s because you speak too quietly, clearly your perception of how loud you need to talk is flawed, if you were speaking at a normal volume you wouldn’t be having these problems frequently. 

Post # 10
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Projecting your voice (speaking from your diaphragm rather than throat) will help this. If people aren’t listening/hearing you, I would make sure I’m projecting.

Post # 11
80 posts
Worker bee

My husband has a low voice (not soft or quite) and his words often have no separation. He also will have his head hung down or looking in the opposite directing of me while he is speaking. When I ask him to look at me I can hear him so much clearer. Maybe it’s not how loud you are or are not being. Maybe it’s how you are speaking? I’m sure it must be very frustrating either way. 

Post # 12
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I’m like you; people struggle to hear what I say. I found it helpful to attend speech training classes. Move your lips more. Enunciate. It’s probably not just your speech volume.

Post # 13
1618 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

I don’t think this is a question of you not being important enough to be listened to. You say you’re using your “normal speaking voice”, but obviously that’s quieter/not as clear as the average person. It feels normal to you but others are telling you they can’t hear!

Listen to them (ha!) and try to work on projection, maybe take an acting class or public speaking.

*Edited some words and added a thought

Post # 14
4319 posts
Honey bee

You could try adding gestures to your speech in order to enhance communication. I find that certain countries are more gesture oriented. My daughter came back from living in France and she gestured a lot more. 

Post # 15
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Are you by chance shorter? I ask because my best friend is short (she says 5′ but that’s a lie) and I am taller (5’8″). If we are standing I often times have a hard time hearing her even when she is speaking at a normal volume. She looks straight ahead when she speaks versus up, I feel like the sound just doesn’t carry as well.

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