(Closed) People changing their minds about attending last minute?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@AbBeeRoad:  im having the opposite problem!!

people going “good news!! we can attend your wedding after all. hurray!”

and me thinking “crap, i have 6 full tables. now i need mroe linens, tables, centrepieces, chairs…everything”

literally 8 people doing this, and a few saying not sure. i know that people declining last minute must be disappointing though, im sorry 🙁

mine is a Destination Wedding so people cant really drop out or just not show up as easily as if it were local

Post # 4
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We had it happen to us.  Luckily for us our final number wasn’t due until the day before BUT even after we gave the final number (that itself was adjusted for some “dropouts”) we had people not able to come.  One was my entire cousins family (5 ppl) but it was due to sickness so I think that is reasonable, another couple decided not to come b/c she was 8.5 mos pregnant and didn’t feel well (prob should have rsvp’d no in the first place being that close to birth, just my opinion) and then there was one couple that simply sent a text to Darling Husband saying they weren’t coming… grrrrrrrrr The kicker is that the pregnant couple still sent their preteen with other people that were coming and she/her other cousins reaked havoc at the hotel and during the reception!  LOL  O’well….

Post # 6
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I have my finger crossed that when our final count is in 1week before weeding that we have no add on’s  they will charge me the $24.95 for the meal then another $25 for a late add on ..

Post # 7
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

that is a HUGE breach of etiquette, to change your mind in either direction about coming or not! I can’t believe there are so many people on your guest list who would do that! If they don’t have damn good reasons for suddenly not being able to come, if I were you I would be extremely pissed at them. If they haven’t been married before, that kind of behaviour is just ignorant, and if they have, then they are just plain rude because they understand completely what kind of position they are putting you in (unnecessary waste of hundreds of dollars, for bailing at the last minute, and huge logistical headache, for saying they can come at the last minute). 

It should not even be an option to just say ‘surprise, I am coming after all’, way past the RSVP date. They should be phrasing it more like ‘I just found out that the thing I had to attend during your wedding is cancelled, is there any way that you can still fit me in? I totally understand if it’s too late!”  

I had a couple of no-shows, one for a very good reason and the others, family members who did not even explain themselves, just didn’t come despite having RSVPd yes. They never did explain, and I haven’t spoken to them since.

Post # 8
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We had a small flurry of late cancellations and 2 no-shows, but these were all due to the death of someone in the extended social circle just a day before our wedding.  I honestly can’t be angry at someone who was closer to the deceased than I was, and was too upset to come out for our wedding.

We also had the boyfriend of one of my bridesmaids pull some “I’ve got to work” BS the night before the wedding, and that didn’t fly at all, because he had ample time to get his shift covered, and also ample time to tell us he couldn’t get the day off.  That incident was what caused my friend to “promote” him from boyfriend to ex, as it was just the icing on the cake of their relationship.  On the brighter side, my friend was able to call up a couple of friends to join the celebration at the last minute and that actually helped me strengthen my friendship with a few people that I’d always really liked and just never had a chance to get to know well.


Post # 9
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This happened to us and I was sooo angry. There was one family who couldn’t make it because of a legitimate health reason which I understand… but some people told us at the very last minute that they had to work. This includes my aunt and uncle who begged us to let them bring their two teenage sons to our wedding and then all four of them were no-shows. One “friend” even texted a mutual friend who was at the wedding to let me know that she had to work at the last minute and was sorry she couldn’t make it.

I don’t think work is a legitimate excuse if you’ve already RSVP’d to say that you are coming. Any responsible adult would have booked the time off already. It makes me want to beat people with an etiquette book, seriously!!!

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