(Closed) Need money for the wedding, should i go THIS route…help!

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I wouldn’t ask them, but definitely for the shower put a bug in their ear that you’d like money (of course still have a traditional wedding). I don’t think that you should take out a loan for your wedding, especially if your credit is already suffering and your student loan debt is large.  i would probably ask if perhaps these relatives have a clubhouse or member ship that they could let you use to cut costs with your wedding before i asked them for a monetary handout.  have you thought of taking a second job to pay for the wedding or postponing it for another year so that you can pay for it without going into debt.

Post # 4
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Do not take a $30,000, or even $20,000 loan for your wedding day!

I know that this is the day you have been dreaming about since you were a little girl, and you want it to be more than perfect. But trust me, there are so many things you can cut back on to cut costs. I was recently reading a thread about saving money, I’ll post it if I can find it.

Especially if you are going through hard times, it is not smart at all to take out this much of a loan. You are setting yourself up for disaster, in my opinion. If you must take a loan, take a smaller amount.

About asking your relatives.. If I was the aunt you are going to ask, I would feel incredibly “on the spot” and awkward. Unless you have a very close relationship with your Fiance’s relatives, do not ask them. This could turn into a feud if you cannot pay them back in a timely manner. Or perhaps you are asking for a gift? Either way, I would not suggest it.

Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@bridepower: usually if they are affluent they are members of maybe a golf course that has a clubhouse or perhaps they have a clubhouse in their neighborhood or something like that. if you are already booked then you are probably better off with trying to do a lot of diy things on your own to keep costs down.  i hear you when you say your fi is out of work, how about him taking a part-time job somewhere or a few of them? for example, i work in a hobby store right now to cut some of the costs around my household.. and i started my own business as well.  perhaps he can get a part-time job at wal-mart (they have great discounts as well)

Post # 8
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I think most people find that their dream wedding costs more than their actual budget. There’s pretty much one universal answer to that dilemma: cut back or wait until you can save up more. It sounds like you already chose to do the wedding sooner, so you may have to sacrifice even more than you are already thinking. How much $$ would you lose if you changed the date of your reception hall booking? It’s usually not a huge amount if you reschedule for a different date and they can fill the place with another couple, so you might want to look into that to give yourself time to save more.

As for asking relatives, I think there will likely be some negative feelings from them or his mom, as you suspect. If you’re willing to live with that, you could ask. Since you’re not as close to these relatives, I personally would try to go through his mom and explain the ways you’re already cutting out all unnecessary expenses and would like to avoid going into debt. But only you know the family dynamics, who to approach best and how.

And finally, and most importantly, going into debt for your wedding, ESPECIALLY if you are in debt already, is a really, really, really bad idea. I know you’ve heard it, but just wanted to emphasize.

Good luck figuring this out!

 

 

Post # 11
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

So what about delaying the wedding? I think you’re smart to recognize that this will be a huge expense even if you save on all the little details. I know you really want to get married in August 2010 but honestly it doesn’t sound like you can financially handle it right now, and having your heart set on it is not a great reason to jeopardize your financial future.

Post # 13
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

have you thought about having your wedding the friday before or sunday after? i am sure that your expenses would be cut for having it the “off” season days?also do you have to use the church’s organist?  is there anyway you could cut out some of the things from the hall package like the limo and the centerpieces and just diy them?

Post # 15
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I would NEVER ask, but I would also NEVER consider taking a loan out for a wedding. I guess hosting a party on a loan just doesn’t appeal to me.

I would find a different reception site, maybe just focusing on finger foods, or a desert bar. Definately no open bar, and no flower centerpieces, and cut back on all of the other things that really add up.

 

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