(Closed) People here make you the bad guy

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Is there something specific you are referring to?

Post # 5
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ok, so I briefly reviewed your posts to try to figure out what the heck you’re referring to, and am assuming it comes down to the “is he trying to break my heart” post?

I think plenty of people offered quite constructive ideas, and sometimes the bees do dish out a bit of reality, and of course are going to respond from where their own heart lies. 

I personally don’t think I could have put myself into debt for a wedding.  I have it from school six years after I graduated and it’s a MAJOR drag that I wouldn’t wish on anybody.  I really think many are just trying to warn you against doing something you’ll regret.  When I think back on the wedding, I think about all the love in the room, and having so much fun with all the people that mean the most to us, and fortunately in life that comes pretty cheap! 

I hope you find a compromise that works for both of you!

Post # 6
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about, and I mean this in the nicest way possible – but this is an open forum full of all kinds of ideas and opinions.  Sure, we operate under general ‘rules’ of the site but for the most part are given the freedom to state opinions and give feedback.  If someone is truly being inappropriate, report the post and the moderators will handle it.  If it’s simply that you don’t like the response you’re getting, then perhaps it’s either time to move on to other venues or reconsider your topics.  You cannot expect people to always agree with you, or even to be nice.

Post # 7
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m not sure what happened to invoke this rant, but this is generally a very supportive community. I am a long-term member and have, for the most part, found the bees to be a very lovely, friendly and welcoming groups of ladies.

That being said. Do not expect them to just be butterflies and rainbows and unicorns all the time. Sometimes, especially during periods of high stress like wedding planning, people need a little bit of a reality check and some honesty to bring them back to Earth. That’s probably what was going on, a little tough love. Very few bees are just outright snarky and mean. 

I read the thread that I think you are referring to and that’s what was going on, from where I see it. They were dishing out plenty of good ideas along with their reality. Maybe you should take some of what they said to heart?


Post # 8
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@zippylef: She took the words right out of my mouth (ick am a longer-time member than meets the eye; I recently changed username). And since I’m posting from my phone, I have nothing to add, lol!

Post # 9
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Can you come on here to vent? Sure! But sometimes with vents even on a forum wanting advice means getting a reality check and sometimes venting posts are in much need of a dose of reality. I saw your posts and I’m sorry if you didn’t like certain responses, but I feel they were appropriate and constructive. If you can’t handle someone not always sugar coating things for you, than it’s time to move on.

Post # 10
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

OK. I am normally the sweet as pie bee on here but I am so sick of new bees coming along and saying how bees who’ve been here a long time are “so mean, so judgemental” whatever.

I have never found that to be the case. Many of these wonderful women are now close friends of mine. 

If you honestly feel people here have been harsh to you, then why post about it? Why not find a community that suits you and your needs better?

Post # 11
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@StarIzInkd: You can’t get upset when you aren’t getting the exact answers that you want. Sometimes people need a reality check and that happens here too

I replied to your last post and when I read this it enraged me:

“It’s probably the same people who can get whatever they want or need whenever that are the ppl bringing me and others down.”

If you read my posts you would understand the amazing amount of hardships I have gone through this year. You shouldn’t point fingers and make assumptions.

Post # 12
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Another place that was


Post # 13
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

  A few things to remember 1) this is the internet and things that are written may not always come across as they do in our minds 2)  some people are just more blunt than others and may be constued as mean but they prob are not  3) there are some people that need to be slapped upside the head with reality, I have not read your PP so I am not saying that is you, but I have seen those type of threads 4) these are not IRL friends, these are a bunch of women strangers on the internet 5)  If you consider something to be a personal attack or too far out of line, flag the post and let a mod know what is going on.  This also works when a post needs a time out.  You can also contact support if you wish a thread that you have written to be closed to comments.

We have one of the best moderaters and hostesses team on the web, IMO.  If you have any issues contact one of them through the support link or PM one of them and they will help you as best they can. 

I am sorry your experience has not always been the best for you, but if you are willing to stick with the bee, I think that you will find that it is a welcoming place to come for your wedding and after life.  Sometimes we all have off days and I am hoping that you will chalk it up to one of those.

Post # 15
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t understand this thread. I read your last post and saw NO attacks. And in all honesty there have been some major attacks on the board from bees, but yours was not one of them. Calm down and just go with the flow on here. Its like life.. sorta. You takes some advice and either run with it or ignore it, but if you ask for it, youre going to get it all the same.

Be careful what you put on here about opinions, advice, and rants if you don’t want or really care what people are going to say.. especially if it something you don’t want to hear.

Post # 16
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Whoaaaa OP that’s quite a bold statement. I think people are just trying to bring you back to reality most of the time and are trying to give you genuine good advice. This board also balances itself out quite a bit, as in most of the time when someone is being too harsh another bee will step in and point that out or defend the OP. so cool it… also writing posts with titles like this one is just asking for it. just sayin!!! Maybe you don’t mean to sound the way you do, but the advice on here is usually great 98% of the time. Some of the best advice my not make you feel so good, but it doesn’t mean it’s not good advice or that someone is just trying to tear you down. Not trying to be mean, just thought I’d put my 2 cents in.

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