(Closed) People invited to shower now not invited to wedding – help!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do about inviting my dad's friends?
    Send apology letter saying not enough room for wedding and no need for gift : (6 votes)
    16 %
    Do nothing and if they come to the shower, still do not invite them to the wedding : (7 votes)
    19 %
    Do nothing and if they come to the shower, invite them to the wedding : (24 votes)
    65 %
    Something else - please explain in comments : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

      I would invite them to the wedding anyway… if the drama is really that bad then they will not show up, and if they’re polite they’ll send a gift or a card or something. You can’t uninvite someone- if they’re uncomfortable then they won’t feel obligated to come- people have other plans all the time!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1232 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    My church is throwing me a wedding shower and there is no way I can afford to invite all of them to the wedding as well. I think most people understand that weddings are very expensive and not everyone can be invited to the main event. I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I was surprised to hear on WB that you are supposed to invite the same people to the wedding as the shower.  In my area most people have showers with people who are not invited to the wedding.  I’ve been to so many 3rd cousin’s showers! My mum had a ‘community shower’ where the whole village came out.  Times are a little different now and we don’t have community showers, but it’s still normal to have a work shower or a church shower with people who aren’t coming to the wedding.  Therefore, just from my perspective, it’s totally unnecessary to say anything or invite them.

    Post # 6
    Member
    940 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I agree with what someone earlier said.  Just invite them anyway.  Maybe they’ll have the good sense not to show.

    Post # 7
    Member
    769 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I say go ahead and invite them to the wedding and explain the situation to your dad.  Hopefully, they just won’t show.

    I’m a little confused about why they were invited to your shower since they don’t sound that close to you anyway??

    Post # 9
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Yeah I agree with the others it is best to invite them and avoid more Drama.  Chances are they probably won’t come.  And if they do there is plenty of other guests to help keep the peace by talking to them and your Dad.

    Post # 10
    Member
    322 posts
    Helper bee

    The shower invites are out, so theres nothing you can do about that – but I doubt they will actually show up. If they do show, be gracious but firm about not inviting them to the wedding. If they feel offended, well, the rift is between them and your dad so let him sort out the hurt feelings.

    Post # 12
    Member
    217 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    If its really awkward between them, hopefully they’ll just not come on their own accord. This is sticky! Good luck girl!

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