Post # 1
Ok….so here’s the deal. I asked my dad if I should invite his old group of friends that he’s known for a long time and he was wishy-washy about it and then said yes. He sent me their addresses so I went ahead and gave them to my Maid/Matron of Honor for the shower. (short back story these 3 couples were my parent’s best friends – my mom has passed – and I guess my dad doesn’t talk to them much anymore) anyway….
So my Maid/Matron of Honor sends out the shower invites and then my dad calls and says he doesn’t want them invited to the wedding. After talking to my sis I find out there’s some sort of drama between them all. What the heck do I do?
My sister suggested I write a nice letter to each of them and say that my Maid/Matron of Honor sent out the shower invites before I finalized my count and I apologize but I will not be able to invite them to the wedding. And because of that please do not feel obligated to attend the shower or send a gift.
What do you all think? I feel awful but at the same time I probably won’t see these people until my father’s passing (which is awful to say but probably the truth and hopefully a ways away!). They will probably be relieved to not feel obligated to come – and my dad will probably feel better about not being around these people that there is some kind of rift with (I have no idea what about!)
I wish my dad was just honest in the first place and said he didn’t want them to come. I want my dad to have a good time and I only invited them for him….so…ugh…help!
Post # 3
I would invite them to the wedding anyway… if the drama is really that bad then they will not show up, and if they’re polite they’ll send a gift or a card or something. You can’t uninvite someone- if they’re uncomfortable then they won’t feel obligated to come- people have other plans all the time!
Post # 4
My church is throwing me a wedding shower and there is no way I can afford to invite all of them to the wedding as well. I think most people understand that weddings are very expensive and not everyone can be invited to the main event. I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you 🙂
Post # 5
I was surprised to hear on WB that you are supposed to invite the same people to the wedding as the shower. In my area most people have showers with people who are not invited to the wedding. I’ve been to so many 3rd cousin’s showers! My mum had a ‘community shower’ where the whole village came out. Times are a little different now and we don’t have community showers, but it’s still normal to have a work shower or a church shower with people who aren’t coming to the wedding. Therefore, just from my perspective, it’s totally unnecessary to say anything or invite them.
Post # 6
I agree with what someone earlier said. Just invite them anyway. Maybe they’ll have the good sense not to show.
Post # 7
I say go ahead and invite them to the wedding and explain the situation to your dad. Hopefully, they just won’t show.
I’m a little confused about why they were invited to your shower since they don’t sound that close to you anyway??
Post # 8
well they were really close to my family my entire life and it’s just since my mom’s passing that I haven’t seen them that much. I assumed my dad was still close to them all so I figured it would be nice to see the ladies at the shower before the wedding and whatnot.
ugh….I guess I’ll just see if they show to the shower and go from there….
Post # 9
Yeah I agree with the others it is best to invite them and avoid more Drama. Chances are they probably won’t come. And if they do there is plenty of other guests to help keep the peace by talking to them and your Dad.
Post # 10
The shower invites are out, so theres nothing you can do about that – but I doubt they will actually show up. If they do show, be gracious but firm about not inviting them to the wedding. If they feel offended, well, the rift is between them and your dad so let him sort out the hurt feelings.
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for the advice! It really helped me figure out what was the right thing to do!
Post # 12
If its really awkward between them, hopefully they’ll just not come on their own accord. This is sticky! Good luck girl!