(Closed) People inviting themself to the wedding?!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am getting those already and just smile and say that guest list just keeps on growing. I plan on letting people know when the time comes that althought we would have loved to invite each and everyone of them we just could not finanically afford it. I have this one girl who I hardly talk to say I better be getting an invite. I see this girl like once a year by chance. People crack me up.

Post # 4
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Isn’t that crazy? I have had perfect strangers walk up to me and admire my bright shiny new ring and ask when the wedding is and if they were invited. Umm no wasn’t planning on inviting you Mr. Postman, Mrs. Checkout lady. I never know what to say either.

Post # 5
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Haha, on Christmas I saw a distant cousin who lives out of state, I haven’t seen him or talked to him in over five years, he goes “I have good news”, I was like “yea, what’s that?” he says ” I am going to be able to make it to your wedding next year”…..,ummmm, I wasn’t even inviting him….wtf

Post # 6
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ginapopovic: I had the same thing happen. You say “Awww I appreciate your wanting to come but we’ve decided on just family. We want an intimate wedding. I’m sorry”

I repeated that ad nasueam and people seemed to understand.

Now, you may run across that one idiot, like my DH’s ex gf (yes you read that right) who offered to pay for their own plate. At that point just say no thank you the guest list has been decided and end the conversation.

Also, saying something liek “yeah we have a small budget” usually lets people know to back off

Post # 7
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have had people whom I never considered inviting tell me how excited they were for my wedding.  One guy told me on two different occasions.  I told Fiance we better invite him, he is REALLY excited and may be heart broken if we dont.

Fiance even had a friend invite himself to be part of the wedding party.  Haha, I guess it feels good to be loved, but I don’t know how to let people down. 

Post # 8
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Amy43026: I had a cousin who I had not seen since Bush Sr was president CALL MY MOTHER asking for an invite. She never received on. Matter of fact her whole side didn’t. My family NEVER received invites to their weddings or baby shower and they got angry with me for doing the same. Needless to say, I laughed them off and kept it moving

Just smile and in the future do not send him one. If he is that much of a distant cousin he will soon forget. If he calls just say the guest list was filled and don’t be afraid to give the reason why. It was his fault he didnt keep in contact, not yours!

Post # 9
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, I’d just smile and tell them, “I’m sorry, but I cannot accommodate that request. We’ve already finalized our guest list with the venue, and we simply cannot add any more people. I am touched you would like to be there, but it just isn’t possible.”

Post # 10
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Lol. Ive had a few people invite themselves to my wedding. A few that Id never invite and a few that I would have invited had I remembered. I just tell pple no lol. Like if Ive never spoken to these people for more than 10 minutes at a time, ur not getting invited to my wedding. One guy thats had a crush on me for god knows how long asked if he was invited..and I just said “well no, i didnt think youd want to come” and that was that.

Now its the plus ones that get me. Just becsuse i invited you, doesnt mean that now ypu get to invite your sister, your cuzin, the person ur dating, etc. People are so bold these days

Post # 11
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’ve found that because of Facebook I have a ton of people that are expecting to be invited that I haven’t seen in person in YEARS! It’s getting so ridiculous that I’m actually considering suspending my account about 3-6 months out so that no one else expects anything just because we’re FB friends. I cannot believe how ridiculous some people are?!?!? I always want to be like, do you even understand how much a wedding costs?!?!?

Post # 12
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Welcome to the club. I had about 10 people invite themselves to our wedding. Some we said yes to and others we said, “we are having a small wedding so I don’t know”. In the end, I am not caring about other peoples feelings, I am caring about our pockets, lol. We are also having a small wedding with about 75 people max.

Post # 14
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Don’t buckle under pressure! use budget restriants or your desire to have a small, intimate, or family-oriented wedding as your reasons. No need to apologize!

postmen and cashiers are of course, joking. But with family it does get sticky. you are definitely not alone in this. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@ginapopovic: It is terrible isn’t it – but don’t back down!

Both Fiance and I are from huge families so we are not having many people from work – I don’t really get on that well with my boss and do feel terrible about not having her as I know I should but I have not invited her.

I just told everyone at work that due to us both coming from large families we are keeping the wedding to mainly family only, in order to start married life with some savings in the bank!

They were all fine and they are all invited to the church service which is the most important part of being married and they all seemed fine with this.

Post # 16
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Also, I have a soft spot for people who start asking me about our wedding, they act so interested and happy that I just want to invite them. Thank god I don’t walk around withinvitations in my purse!

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