Post # 1
So a bit of background – we’re getting married in Glasgow, Scotland next summer (finace’s family is there). Since it’s destination weddign for most of our friends, we’re keeping it small – family we like and the friends we consider family. I’ve made some comments on Facebook and general comments at work, and various people have said things like “I’ll start saving”. Some of these are coworkers I like but never see outside of work, others are friends from high school who I only see at reunions (we jsut had our 20th so it’s been a LONG time since we hung out regularly). Do I say anything to them? Do I smile and let them figure it out when they don’t get an invitation?
Post # 3
@Glasgowbound: Most Bees will tell you keep everything off FB regarding your wedding. I posted a few things and I had people invite themselves to be part of the bridal party.
Just to be kind, those who have told you “I’ll start saving” I would PM them and kindly tell them that the guest list has been decided and you are keeping the wedding small. Howver you run the risk of people asking/begging for an invite.
I smiled and kept quiet about our wedding. We sent our invites to those who were invited and when someone asked I would say “Im sorry but due to budget our guest list has bee decided” or “We’ve reached the max number in our venue”.
Good luck! It happens to us all. If you want more reponses, post this in the “Etiquette” catagory.
Post # 4
yeah, learned that lesson about facebook posts 🙂 and thanks for the etiquette board suggestion – I posted this over there
Post # 5
I think because you are getting married in a specific place for a specific reason, you have everyright to say “we’re having an intimate affair with just very close friends and family” I had 2 sort of friends that were having a joint wedding at an all inclusive resort in Mexico, I said I would like to come, is there anyone who needs to share a room…etc. I didn’t end up going but the reason I thought it was ok to invite myself was that its was a resort with tons of people already there, whats to say I wasn’t just another random guest. Maybe you can just hope they won’t end up saving the money, and if they do well you must mean alot to them, thats alot of money to spend on a going to a co-workers wedding. Give it time, they will naturally fall off list.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t say anything, but it is polite to write something back like ‘Oh Sally, you are such a card”. Or something similar.
I think the lack of an invitation is all the wake up call people need. If someone starts talking to you about booking flights or anything then follow up with them privately. But I suspect most people are just (awkwardly) expressing their excitement, and aren’t actually expecting an invitation.