Post # 1
And it’s awkward as hell, because they aren’t! I’ve had people texting me saying they can’t wait to attend the wedding (and I haven’t even spoken with them about being engaged or inviting them, or spoken with them at all recently) and I’ve also had people straight up just ask me if I was going to invite them. One of my coworkers even said our friendship was over if I didn’t invite him! he said it somewhat jokingly, but it was annoying anyways. Another one of my coworkers today told me she would be mad if I invited the other manager over her.
Have you ladies ever dealt with this kind of thing? I was just wondering if I’m the only one who gets questions/comments like this!
Post # 2
Yeah we had probably 50 people ask us this or say they “had” to be invited to the wedding. We invited 350 people but a lot of people still just didn’t make the cut. We just said we had large families, which is true.
Post # 3
futureladyharvey: I guarantee you are not the only one. Just respond either that you have not finalized the guest list yet, ot that you are having a very small intimate wedding, so won’t be able to invite everyone you would love to be part of your day.
Post # 4
futureladyharvey: this!! We have had the same thing and it drives me apesh*t! Especially because we are having a destination wedding which was intended for only CLOSE family. Now we are up another 20 people from the initial 40. People seem to think they’re close family even when they’re a twice removed step-cousin that you haven’t spoken a word to in the last 15 years!
So what we did was include the few that made sense, and are telling the rest that it’s very close family only, so we can keep it small, intimate, and affordable. If there are hurt feelings, there isn’t much else we can do, there are going to be hurt feelings no matter where you make the cut.
Post # 5
I’ve gotten this a lot from coworkers and friends of family members.
Thankfully for me at least we’ve decided to elope so I have a nice out now
Post # 6
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
futureladyharvey: Am I invited?
Post # 7
Derp: Bahaha! We’ve got to account for family first, and the guest list isn’t finalized. You know how it is.
Post # 8
GrumpytheDwarf: Yeah, you’re right, hurt feelings are probably inevitable in every wedding. I mean, we can’t invite everybody who wants to come. It’s just not possible! It’s like somehow a bunch of random people feel entitled to being invited to the wedding, and I have no idea why!
I don’t think I would ever ask somebody if I was invited to their wedding. I just feel like it’s very inconsiderate and rude.
My rule of thumb so far has been this: If I would expect to be invited to their wedding (if they were having one), then they can be on the list. If not, then they just don’t make the cut!
Post # 9
a_day_at_the_fair: Definitely a nice out, haha. I can see why many couples opt for eloping or a destination wedding or something else that’s intimate in nature.
Post # 10
futureladyharvey: I had this question a few times during our engagement and it’s just plain awkward. I know some people are truly clueless (I have to admit I did it once when I was about 21 and now I feel so guilty), but others should know better. Keep the response simple-“We are keeping things small and intimate” is usually a good response and the one I used-it was true for us! We only had 60 guests at our wedding. If they’re hurt, they will just have to get over it. Knowing someone doesn’t warrant an invitation to such a personal event.
Post # 11
futureladyharvey: Argh, cow-orkers, I mean co-workers, can be the worst. Often the safest way is to invite no one from work (or, in my case, the only girl I spent time with outside work hours). If you invite no one, at least you’re being consistent, and no one can complain. Keep repeating, “sorry, but it’s family and close friends only”.
Post # 12
aussiemum1248: yeah, I think I will have to just not invite anybody from work. I know that if I invite some and not others, lots of feelings will be hurt. Best to just avoid it entirely!
Post # 13
- Wedding: May 2017 - Maybe in Denmark
if money is the issue and not the people asking to go tell them its expensive and if theyd like to go they need to pay you. it’s what id do.. otherwise i agree with everyone else here lol
Post # 14
Yeah. I had this A LOT!!! It was easy for me because we have less than 20 invited, so I woidle just smile when they mentioned what they planned to do at my wedding and then when they’d ask if I had anything planned, I would politely say that we’ve decided on a “small, intimate ceremony” and that I wish I could invite everyone. I avoided hurting anyone’s feelings and no one’s asked since. Lol