(Closed) People keep getting engaged after us and married before us :/

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Actually yes…I thought I was the ONLY one feeling this. My FH and I have this married couple who actually got engaged and married within 5 months or so after we got engaged. And this was about 1 1/2 ago…my friends celebrated their 1st anniversatry last november. It was kind of weird for me bcuz I was happy for them, but also jealous.. But its doesnt it bother me that bad…I get to see everyone’s decortaions and maybe get ideas for mine… ๐Ÿ™‚

Also, SO MANY of my former classmates have gotten engaged and married since then. Im getting tired of looking at my “Engaged to” on my FB status..lol

Post # 18
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We have a two year engagement, so I’ve been there. It really doesn’t bother me, though. We like our long engagement. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 19
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That happened to us!!! It didnt really bother me so much as now when I see them so many of them seem like such a happy married couple settling into their lives and I am still running around like a mad woman setting up our wedding (Only 50 more days!!!!)  So I know how you feel =)  I am really happy for them and we chose to have a long engagement (15 months) and I am really happy with our choice but I am also really looking forward to the married life.

Post # 20
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

LOL, yup. I had about three of those happen. Our long engagement was my fault because I went away to grad school for a year, but still, I would look at my friends’ wedding photos on Facebook and think, damn you, I was engaged first!

Buuuuuut…it was worth the wait. Our wedding day was amazing and pretty much everyone who attended said they hadn’t enjoyed a wedding that much in ages, so I can’t complain. Apparently we set the bar really high for our unmarried friends; people still can’t stop talking about our big day ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 21
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@swanks4tw: I can understand that feeling BUT the flip side is I see my friends now struggling because they rushed and had weddings that they could not afford. We are saving money so we can be paid in full with everyone on our wedding is here.

Hang in there… You have 51 days to go… I have 422 days…..LOL

 

Post # 22
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

it doesn’t really bother me, but definitely makes me way more anxious for our big day and to actually be husband and wife! especially since we are also waiting to live together til then!

Post # 23
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It doesn’t bother me. I have been engaged for a long time so I actually know people who have met, dated, gotten married & had babies meanwhile we are still just engaged. I don’t understand why this would bother anyone, everyone has their own timetable for life. It’s not a competition.

Post # 24
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Enjoy being engaged, its a very short period of time in your life and you get to be married forever. I was engaged for 2 years while we saved up money and I enjoyed every minute of it, the anticipation of the wedding is so much fun! Im kinda sad I dont get to look forward to it anymore, but I have the rest of my life with my hubby to look forward to now so I cant complain too much. But dont waste a minute of this precious time in your life not loving it!

Post # 25
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Annabelle86: I don’t know, being engaged kind of sucked once the novelty wore off. I hated wedding planning and just wanted to be married already! LOL

Post # 26
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@swanks4tw: I am totally going through this!

I am always happy for them, but the fiance and I just want to be married already! ๐Ÿ˜‰ It’s like I am being tormented when I see the photos and status updates on Facebook, LOL. We are enjoying engaged life and are happy we have time to cherish this chapter in our lives–and have tons of time to plan.

We are finishing up our Bachelor’s degrees, so that is why we have a pretty long engagement. We’ve been engaged since November 7th, 2010 (my birthday!). Some people have to remind me how long our engagement is, but it upsets me sometimes because we’re preparing financially, job-wise, etc. and trying our best to get where we want to be. It’s not a race at all, but we’re learning patience. If we had money, we’d be married right now. But then again, everyone tells me that the years will go by quickly and our big day will be here before ya’ know it…

Post # 27
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@linguo42:

 

lol I guess I forget sometimes that not everybody loves planning a wedding as much as I did, but like I said, you will be married your whole life! Dont let anybody elses wedding make you feel like you are in a race to get there. It can be nice having that wonderful day to look forward to.

Post # 28
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

A lot of people are doing this to us, and I really am scared that other people think I’m copying them, too.  There was one wedding set in my side of the family for October 1st and one wedding in FI’s family set for November 12th, both this year, by the time Fiance and I got engaged.  So, we decided to set our wedding for 2012, as not to steal anyone’s spotlight.  I still feel like FI’s cousin is mad that we got engaged/feels like we’re copying her.  But, whatever, they’re not close at all.

After Fiance and I got my ring, FI’s cousin decided she had to get married before us, like marriage is some sort of competition.  She hastily planned a May 2011 wedding.  That was fine, though, still plenty of time before ours so I didn’t feel overshadowed.  Well, I kinda did while she was still planning, but now I don’t. 

Then, my step-cousin announced she was engaged to her boyfriend of a whopping three months.  They’re getting married later this month.  My aunt claims she’s marrying her long-time boyfriend, but we’ll see.  My dad said he wants to marry his crackhead girlfriend, so we’ll see about that, too.  Another one of my cousins was going to get married but the relationship of four months didn’t work out (surprise, surprise). 

At this point, I’m just dead set on focusing on my wedding and forgetting about what everyone else is doing.  Yes, it is really, really annoying everytime someone’s FB relationship status changes to “engaged”, especially when the duration of their relationship is shorter than the amount of time it takes to make a frozen dinner.  But, Fiance and I both have big families.  Somebody is always going to be getting married or having a baby.  In fact, the 10th is the day of future nephew’s birthday party, one FCIL’s bridal shower, and another FCIL’s baby shower.  All I can do is ensure that my wedding is unique and unforgettable for my guests…  At least everyone else who has gotten married/is getting married isn’t going to have a wedding on the beach like me!

Post # 29
Member
5385 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Someone was mad at us for that. Even though my husband and I had been together for much longer than they had. They didn’t even invite us to their wedding. lol Oh, well. 

Post # 30
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think this will happen to me, but I don’t care. I gotta ring on my finger and a wonderful man on my side. I am planning for a two year engagement.

Post # 31
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

By the time my fiance and I get married next year, we will have been engaged for almost 2.5 years so I sympathize with you. It was very hard seeing his youngest brother get engaged after us and set a date a year before us. They’re getting married next month. I wish our engagement wasn’t so long, but waiting is allowing us to have the wedding of our dreams and get exactly what we want.

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