(Closed) People like to debate

posted 8 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m wondering where the threadjacking thread went…huh. It bothers me to no end when people insist they’re right and just keep pushing the issue. God, that’s annoying. Say your piece and move on.

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrs Grape: The threadjacking thread is actually under the Weddingbee category, it was just de-stickied :).

Post # 5
Member
250 posts
Helper bee

thanks jo.lee.  I was just looking for that thread too.

Post # 6
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@jo.lee: I see! I hope a policy is implemented soon…this stuff is getting ridiculous.

Post # 8
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Me too, Grape. I’m not a big fan of debates. I try to stay out of them, but I’m kind of opinionated, so it’s hard sometimes.

Post # 9
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If people can debate without resorting to personal attacks and immature name-calling/petty comments, etc, then I can see that it might be ok. But when someone posts a question and the thread turns into a two-way conversation between two other bees, then that’s not really helpful to the original poster or anyone else who is viewing the thread looking for advice regarding the original topic, do you know what I mean?

There’s an appropriate time and place for debates and it seems to be that many of the recent threads that turned into heated arguments were fueled by bees that didn’t recongize that. And we can all agree that comments posted online can be misinterpreted so differently than how a person may mean them. Our “voices” online aren’t always the same as they are in person.

Post # 10
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

There’s debating, and there’s sayign the same freakin’ thing over and over and over.

I like the former, the latter is what usually leads to threadjacking, IMO.

Post # 11
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@teaadntoast: I agree.

“Everyone wants to get their .02 in or have the last word.” Well, not everyone. Disagreeing and asking questions respectfully is debating–demanding the last word is not.

Post # 12
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think that when someone is called out on the second or third post of a thread, not right, just not right.  I enjoy reading most of the back and forths.  It really leads to some great discussions with the FH, especially on certain subjects.  There are aspects of wedding planning that I just know what or how to do, and he has no idea what it even is.  Kind of saves me from hours of work explaining it all out to him, lol. 

Post # 13
Member
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think you can have a debate when one side is convinced of their own infallibility. Debates are only fun/interesting when both sides are open to hearing the other sides argument and respond constructively.

Post # 14
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think it’s okay to have different opinions but usually it’s the wording that will throw people into fits, like saying “You’d have to be an idiot to think that and your opinion is wrong, and you suck as a person”.

Opinions are JUST opinions. Not everyone will think the same as you do so once you’ve said your piece MOVE ON! You’re not going to convince anyone you’re “right” by berrating them or name calling.

Post # 15
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@heather25:  Excellent point.  I think lots of people here are capable of debate and others choose to get upset when they see differing opinions.  

It also sppears the forum “rules” are applied based on who is okay with the mods and who isn’t and objectivity isn’t even close to being a goal. 

I’m also extremely confused about so called “threadjacking.”  A poster starts a topic on a particular subject and discussion regarding that very subject ensues and someone is accused of “threadjacking.”  Huh? 

Also….last wording?  WTH is that?  Is there a rule that says how often a poster can contribute to a particular thread?  As long as they’re being responded too and the topic is still up for discussion what’s the issue?  Who is forcing anyone to participate or read anything they don’t want to read?

I particularly love the posters that chime in to say, “this again?!?” as if someone is holding a gun to their head.  

Post # 16
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

@lisa105: It also sppears the forum “rules” are applied based on who is okay with the mods and who isn’t and objectivity isn’t even close to being a goal.  

 

 You are being less than sincere here. Sorry it is what it is. I think you are being less than sincere if you honestly don’t see how you can rub people off the wrong way and that makes the mods call you out. Let me get this straight, I live in NYC and I meet abrasive and oblivious people all the time. And honestly, I do enjoy your posts most of the time. But when you make certain comments (i.e., when you called the money dance tacky etc, when it’s something that is a cultural thing, that rubs people the wrong way) don’t expect people to hold back or the mods not to call you out. Now, if you think the mods are after you because you are not in with them, you are mistaken. You have been on this site for what, a few months, and yet you are notorious for your etiquette police behavior already. I’ve been here for a few months too. I’ve never been flagged, never had a mod call me out directly etc (not that I’d care that much though being as I like WB but not enough to stand for a mod monitoring me). So no, that post was less than honest, the mods are not ‘in’ with anyone over you. When you are rude, they call you out. There are LOTS of people who post here and are not ‘in’ with them. Just my two cents. Thanks.

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