(Closed) People looking for the wedding gift they gave you at your house…

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Sort of. I had someone ask if I was using the candlesticks they bought me, where I keep them. People ask me all the time in general if I’m using my wedding presents and how often. It’s slightly invasive, especially since I don’t like to discuss the fact that we don’t have all of them in our apartment yet.

Post # 4
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@Ms. Purple:  I don’t think that’s weird.  She was probably excited about seeing you use the gift she picked out for you.  I usually make a point of using/displaying a person’s gift when they come to our house.

Post # 5
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Ms. Purple:  LOL!  No, this hasn’t happened to me but my Husband’s Aunt gave us six place settings of our china plus six soup bowls and I know one things for sure – she’s going to expect to see it on display loud and proud when she comes to visit – but that’s okay with me!

Post # 6
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’d find that rude. I can maybe understand surreptitiously glancing around to see if your stuff is displayed anywhere, but asking is a bit much. Especially about beer glasses, which would presumably normally be housed in a cupboard and out of sight anyway!

ETA: I don’t think I’d have a problem with people randomly asking me, “So how are you liking that toaster?”, but asking where their gift is in my house? Yikes.

Post # 8
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i can see how it would be startling! maybe they’re just trying to use it as a topic of conversation or something though and they probably don’t mean any harm by it. now a crotchity old aunt on the otherhand might have ulterior motives…!

ETA: oh nvm, I just read your update – she’s just a crotchity rude friend I guess!

Post # 9
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@Ms. Purple:  Well in that case, yeah she was kind of out of line.  You gave her a perfectly legitimate reason as to why her gift was being kept in a safe place.  She shouldn’t have pushed the issue.

Post # 10
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2006

Yes people will look for or ask if you are using their gift.  Yes it can be rude, especially in the case of a gift which would be stored away anyway.  I had someone ask if we “christened” the sheets they gave us . . . People are rude 🙂

Post # 11
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

If you registered for those beer glasses and didn’t even end up using them, then I think your friend has a right to be annoyed. But if they were just a random gift, then I think she’s the rude one.

Post # 13
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ve never been asked about gifts people gave me.

Although, if I went to someone’s house, I would look for the wedding gifts I gave them.. but just to see if they are using it. (Really, to make me happy that I at least bought them a good gift.) I would never ask someone about the gift, though.

Post # 14
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Its a bit invasive way to phrase it.  I even registered for a few things and after we got all our gifts together we realized we probably didn’t need everything (for example, the platter that went with our dishes set and another silver platter).  

Post # 15
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

We’ve never been asked if we were using anyone’s wedding gift. But that could be in part because I told every person in their thank-you note that we were using the presents they gave us, because we were. We made a point of putting every gift to use in the weeks after our honeymoon, and still do.

If I were a guest at someone’s house and I’d given them something as obviously useful as beer glasses and they weren’t visible, honestly, I’d be a little bit hurt. (Especially if they had been married for several months, which it appears that you have.) However, I’d never say anything about it. Sounds like your guest was very rude. But in the future, maybe when you have guests over for a function at which their gift would be useful (like the beer glasses), you could make an effort to get it out and have it available.

Post # 16
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

gosh, i couldnt remember who gave us what but i know most of them were butt ugly and not useful (we didnt register because we didnt want gifts and eloped). i put them in the back of my car and gave them to a girl i work with who just moved into her first home and donated the rest

at least OP had a good response

 

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