(Closed) People make the most ridiculous comments

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@dcgirl655:  I’m not a waiting bee so hopefully someone else will have a tip for how to shut super uncomfortable and awkward comments down – especially in front of a room full of people. But I did just want to lend my support and say (which I’m sure you already know) that sometimes people are and say S-T-U-P-I-D things. I can’t even imagine how horrified you must have been when the “giving the milk for free” comment was made. I’m horrified for you. But just know that you and your SO are doing the right thing for yourself and your relationship and it doesn’t matter what anyone else says – your commitment to each other is what matters. 

Post # 4
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee

Ugh, I’ve had the “milk for free” comment thrown at me more times than I can count (been together 5 yrs in July) and of course the “why don’t you guys just get married, already? what are you waiting for?” I’m to the point where I just smile and say, “Oh, we are, we’re in no rush.” Meanwhile, I’m seething, and want to say, “Umm, why are you asking me? Go fucking ask him!”  It shuts them up, without having to have any awkward feelings from either side.

Post # 5
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

People say stupid, insensitive things. I’m sorry, it’s frustrating I know! 

My SO and I haven’t been together that long 1.5 years but he already asked my dad for his blessing and we already went ring shopping. The ball is now in my SO’s court. I have a very pushy, nosy family and every time we see them, they badger us about an engagement. 

For me, I think it’s easiest to say that you’re enjoying the journey and while you’re excited for it to happen, you know it’ll be best enjoyed if it happens naturally. I usually then change the topic, turn the conversation back to whoever asked the question. It takes the focus off of the insenstive comment and you don’t have to feel like you’re being rude. Hope that helps!

Post # 6
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

I usually don’t answer – I just return with another question. “Why would you ask that?” “Don’t you think that’s a rude question to ask in front of us both?”

Otherwise, especially if it’s particularly rude, I just reply with sarcasm. In response to why you’re not engaged yet: “Oh my GOSH, I have just honestly not even thought about it, the thought has NEVER EVEN CROSSED MY MIND, thank you for bringing up that unique idea!”

It’s surprising to me how little consideration people have for the sensitivity of that kind of topic. Especially in the case of waiting bees whose SOs are hellbent on surprising them – discussing it in front of him is not going to help at all! It’s not like you’re just sitting around waiting for someone to bring it up, so that you can both snap out of it and get engaged already! People just don’t think.

Post # 7
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Before we were engaged, we were asked this all the time. Humor became our go-to response.

“So when are you two getting married?”

“Oh, eventually…SO’s divorce has to be finalized first!”

or “We’re not. We don’t really like each other that much.”

People either got very confused or laughed. Either way, it shut them up.

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