(Closed) People not booking off the date

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I hear you, that sucks. I’d be dissapointed too. I guess they’re not that good of friends if they are literally planning other stuff when they know when you are getting married 🙁

Post # 3
6152 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
hermionepadme :  I’m sorry bee! That seems really insensitive of them. I’m going to post before you get the barrage of “the day is only important to you” that I have seen I here. I disagree, because I think that true friends should show some excitement, I was truly excited for my friends that got married, had babies, and graduated from school. I mean, sending you a donation link really makes me mad and its not even my wedding.

Side note, is it possible they haven’t gotten the STD yet? Or is the date kind of hidden? Just be sure to check all potentialities beforehand.

Are any of your friends excited? I would focus on those and ignore the rest. I had a really good friend not come to our wedding (for good reason), but after she didn’t even bother to see how it went or ask to see a picture. We’ve drifted apart and after my last attempt at getting together, I’ve decided to focus on the friends that are excited for me and me for them in our various milestones.

Perhaps message each one separately depending on the relationship you have with them to see what is up. Hugs! 

Post # 4
1281 posts
Bumble bee

Im sorry bee, I wish people prioritised weddings more. Personally I try so hard to make every wedding im invited to and my only reason for not going is if I already have vacation booked before I knew the date. But I would never receive a STD then go ahead and book something else. There are so many charity events and marathons that im surprised someone would pick your wedding date to do a marathon over all the other dates possible. Unfortunately theres not alot you can do, just appreciate the friends that do make the effort to free up the date. 

Post # 5
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Is it possible they can do both? If the charity run is in the morning, they’d still have plenty of time to go to an afternoon ceremony if it’s local.

If not, that’s bizarre to me. I am anticipating declines because of school, but things like charity events and vacations can be scheduled fairly freely. My feelings would be hurt too.

Post # 6
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

No one cares about your wedding as much as you do. To you, it’s HUGE, it’s consuming everything for you… But other people have their own things that are consuming them. Its just life. Try not to focus on everyone else, and just do you. 

Post # 7
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
hermionepadme :  have they received their STD??? I feel like that’s so rude bee if they are your good friends they should make your wedding a priority.. 

Post # 8
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I get missing a wedding for vacation, if that’s your only vacation days or whatever.  I can even understand doing a marathon if it’s an important one that’s not easy to qualify for (like the Boston marathon or something).

But bringing all that up in a group chat with you?  That’s just cold.

Post # 9
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Is it possible these people all had their vacation plans / marathon plans made even before receiving your save the date?

Or maybe it is simply that you are the first one to get married and they just don’t get that weddings of a close friend should be a priority. I feel like younger people or those who have not been to many weddings don’t feel the obligation to attend like others do haha.

Post # 10
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I can totally relate, me and my Fiance are younger, I’m 22, he’s 23. And also the first of our friends to get married. We had an engagement party and a lot of people said they would come and they did not show up day of, because of whatever reason they had. It’s frustrating when you’re excited and what other people to be excited for you. But like a PP said no one finds is more excited or finds it as much as a priority as we do. 

Post # 11
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I am very much on the ‘your wedding isn’t as important to other people’ bandwagon, but to basically tell you that is a bit shitty. Also, if the run is during the wedding WEEKEND, but not on the actual day, you can’t expect people to stop their lives for the entire weekend for 1 event.

It’s still a few months away, they might get more excited closer to the day.

Post # 12
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I wouldn’t read to into it yet.  Your wedding is still a few months out and their committments may change in the next 2-3 months.  

I don’t know how close these people are for you, but if I had a vacation booked during my friends wedding I would still go on my vacation.  Life cannot stop for weddings.  Some of us go to 5+ weddings a year…to people who are close enough to include us in their big day!  Could you imagine if we scheduled everything around other peoples lives?  Try not to take it so personally.

Post # 13
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Wait, that’s weird. I feel like there is some sort of miscommunication going on here. Are you sure it’s not like, the day after your wedding, and they’re doing both? Are you sure they got their STDs? Are these people actually your friends?

Post # 14
12275 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Did they already book or plan their vacation?  If the alreay did, then can’t really expect anyone to cancel a vacation or plans if they have made them already.

Post # 15
1070 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
rak32098 :  This. With lots of weddings people can’t hold off applying for things and arranging vacation days and holidays in case somebody gets married. If I’ve got 2 weeks off work to go on holiday and a friends wedding is in the middle I’m not going to not have my holiday over it. 

The marathon could be entered months in advance.  The last big half marathon I did was last year. The race is September but ballot opens January so you sign up 9 months in advance. Again. If that’s booked in and I’ve trained for it then I might not get to a wedding but may come to the evening reception is possible (that’s acceptable in the UK).

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