(Closed) People not booking off the date

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
6344 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I think it’s rude that these friends are basically telling you to your face that they don’t care about your wedding. Obviously your wedding isn’t going to super important to anyone but you, but they don’t need to rub it in your face like that. 

Are these actual good friends or more like acquaintances?

As for the vacation part of it…I do understand how some people have a specific week or time of year that they always go on vacation. Nothing you can really do about that one. 

Post # 17
Member
1751 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I think I’m confused – did you send them invitations to your wedding / reception?

If they’ve been formally invited to the wedding /reception, and yet they are talking on chat groups about running a marathon or going on vacation, then that’s VERY TACKY. I guess it’s one thing if they had the vacation planned first. If I was going to Australia for 3 weeks, and I’d been planning it for a year, then that’s one thing. Otherwise it seems like something strange is going on here. Are you sure they got invites? Have they replied “No Thanks” already?

Post # 18
Member
704 posts
Busy bee

Yeah, agreed with other PP.  This sounds so rude.  I would not do that to a good friend.  Are these people you are actually close with?  I know it sucks but sometimes big life events really show you who your true friends are (i.e. those who are willing to tell you how excited they are about your wedding vs insensitively tell you they might plan a vacation instead.)  What was their reaction after reminding them it was your wedding weekend?

Post # 19
Member
6344 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
mishybear :  It sounds like OP has already sent the STDs for her June 2017 wedding, but not the actual invites. So they haven’t RSVPed or anything but they are aware of the wedding date. 

Post # 20
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Speaking as a marathon runner, that’s not really something you can just reschedule. Much like a wedding, it is also a life altering event that takes months of preparation!

It seems like there’s miscommunication afoot here. 

Post # 22
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

View original reply
hermionepadme :  Maybe because my headcount is out of control, but I would be relieved if people started RSVPing no to my wedding.

Post # 23
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

Personally, because I take so little time off, I save for and plan any vacations about a year in advance. I’m also a runner, and some races (especially marathons!) start accepting applications months or a year in advance — especially if it’s a race for which you have to have a qualifying time. Is it possible that all of these things were planned prior to their finding out your wedding date?

Post # 25
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I personally think it’s rude, it’s one thing to do the actions but to chat about it in front of you like it’s no big deal especially if they are your good friends… I would start to question those friendships.

Post # 26
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee

I agree. It is rude and I see why you’re hurt. I’d have no problem saying something about it though WHILE they were having the discussion since they pretty much had it right in front of you. 

Post # 27
Member
704 posts
Busy bee

3. And no the vacation plans have not been made yet but my friends keep saying, “I should be able to make it if I don’t make vacation plans.”

This person is not your friend.  An acquaintance at best.  Not because they want to prioritze their vacation over your wedding but because they are insensitive enough to say this to you.  Also if someone were my good friend, I would plan my vacation around their wedding.  

Post # 28
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

You aren’t that good of friends. I really can’t think of any other reason a friend wouldn’t prioritize my wedding. 

Post # 29
Member
1751 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

View original reply
hermionepadme :  ok, that’s just crazy! Basically they’re saying that they’ll come to your wedding if nothing better comes up. How rude!!  And they’re saying this in front of you. Please tell me that you’re all 18 years old and I can chalk it up to immaturity – because if these people are anywhere over 21, you have some shitty friends! 

Post # 30
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

I’ve said it many times: weddings really show you who your true friends are. If they schedule events to directly conflict with your wedding date, then they don’t truly care about you and refuse to be there to support you. I would move on from these “friendships” and chalk it up to a lesson learned. The friends that REALLY love you will be there. The fair weather ones…drop them.

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