(Closed) People not booking off the date

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 31
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

Based on your updates, I’d be disappointed, too, and I’d likely be reconsidering my friendship with those people. 

Post # 32
Member
6331 posts
Bee Keeper

Maybe they aren’t well versed in wedding etiquette, but you would think they’d still express their disappointment about having a scheduling conflict with your wedding. Could it be possible that they have limited funds and PTO that require them to prioritize in such a way? I also wonder if these friends are less close to you than you realize. 

Post # 34
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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kygirl242 :  absolutely agree. We found that out the hard way.

Post # 35
Member
8 posts
Newbee

That is so strange!  Could there be something else going on here?  Maybe jealousy, or not liking your fiance, or being upset they weren’t asked to be in the bridal party?

You are being a good sport about the marathon, but there are a million runs for charity that they could do.  It is not excuse to skip a close friend’s wedding.   I am so sorry you are dealing with this!!

Post # 36
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2022

This sounds so horrible and rude! I’m so sorry 😔 If they have received the STD then to deliberately be organising other things is harsh! i wouldn’t expect my friends to be as fascinating by my wedding as me but I would expect them to keep the date free! 

Post # 37
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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goldenbrown :  I’M SO GLAD SOMEONE APPRECIATED THAT.

Post # 38
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I hate to be cold, but I would re-evaluate those friendships. My own wedding was a real eye opener for me in regards to a few friends too. It sucks, but on the plus side you wont be paying for a plate for someone who doesn’t really care about you.

Post # 39
Member
7556 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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hermionepadme :  Sorry to hear this bee but I suppose it all depends if they booked that date before they got your save the date. i.e. if they booked their holiday or whether they are just thinking about going. If I get a save the date / invite (as STD’s aren’t such a thing here in the UK) I put that in my diary so that nothing else goes in that slot and prioritise it. But if I had already booked and paid for a trip then it would be sad but I would have to decline.

Post # 40
Member
6340 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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hermionepadme :  How many people are we talking about here? You said this is in some sort of group text right? So how many of your friends are involved?

Post # 44
Member
704 posts
Busy bee

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hermionepadme :  Ok, that explains A LOT.  It in no way excuses their behavior though.  When I was much younger I didn’t value the importance of weddings as much.  However, I still believe they are not truly close friends if they are acting this way.  And 26 is pretty old to be this immature about a friend’s life events. 

Post # 45
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Have you considered asking the particular friends that are talking about making plans in a one on one message about if they aren’t planning on attending the wedding? Even if you simply phrased it as wanting to know for guest list reasons? It’s so bizarre to me that they would continue to talk like that knowing that you’re reading all of it. Even if they considered you an acquaintance at best, there’s no tact in that.

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