(Closed) People not giving a reason for declining invite

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 91
Member
518 posts
Busy bee

_ accepts with pleasure

x declines with regrets

why?: Because your wedding happens to be the same weekend as the Furry Convention I attend annually

Post # 92
Member
2257 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
Yesimgoinganon:  Wow, set it free. Why do you need to know? That’s nosy. I wouldn’t provide a reason either, because I’m not required to give excuses for myself for declining a wedding invitation.

ETA: This is definitely the first I’ve heard of this kind of thing on an RSVP…

I too would probably decline to attend if I saw that on an invitation. Even if I planned on attending before receipt of the invitation. Nope, leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Post # 93
Member
2257 posts
Buzzing bee

I wish the bee had asked this before even ordering her invitations with this on it. You definitely can’t smooth this one over… What’s done is done.

Post # 94
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

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a_day_at_the_fair:  Agree. I think OP just made it worse on herself! By setting an expectation of people, you’re inviting them to disappoint you!

Most people that couldn’t come left me a nice note saying, oh we have a previous commitment, oh we wish we could attend, and I didn’t take it personally because I’m an adult and the people who really wanted to be there would make every effort to come. End of story.

Post # 95
Member
1274 posts
Bumble bee

This is a joke right?

If a guest chooses to tell you the reason they are declining, which family members and close friends, etc usually do, then that’s fine. Don’t ever DEMAND it to be written on the rsvp. That’s rude. It’s none of your business why they can’t attend. You might never know the reason. You’ll get over it. I can’t believe your Fiance advocated calling people up that didn’t write in a reason…what in the heck…

Post # 96
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I’m sure this is a joke. 

If anyone actually put that on an RSVP I’d decline because I assume they are an annoying psycho who I already hate.

Post # 97
Member
7465 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

OP, you could always just hack their voicemails again and see what else they got going on that weekend that “won” over your wedding.

Post # 98
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
Yesimgoinganon:  it’s rude of you to insist they give you a reason…

Post # 99
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee

1. I’m struggling financially and I can’t afford to buy you a gift.

2. I get severe anxiety at large social gatherings.

3. That will be my first day off in 2 months, and I really want to just stay home and put my feet up.

4. I’m having vaginal prolapse surgery the previous day.

All perfectly valid reasons for not attending a wedding. All completely none of your business.

Post # 100
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
Yesimgoinganon:  I don’t think it should be any of your business to know why they decline.. maybe they just don’t want to come to your wedding. Nobody should have to justify their decline to an event…

Post # 101
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

_ accepts with pleasure

x declines with regret

reason for declining: Actually OP it’s not “with regret.” I’m hoping I have crazy, chandelier swinging, neighbor scandalizing, earth shattering, cant move for a while, walk funny sex that day.

See why social white lies are good? And demanding to know the ‘why’ is bad?

 

Post # 102
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Wow. Sorry but I agree with 99.9% of the rest of the bees who have commented on this post. This is just RUDE on SOOO many levels!!

Post # 103
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Asking people to justify not coming to your wedding is just weird. I would 100% leave that bit blank, I’d be super uncomfortable with the idea that the bride might be judging my excuse. (oh, you’d rather go on your own vacation than come to my wedding? Etc). Just don’t think it’s Yours to know. 

Post # 104
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I think we scared her off. Don’t think OP is coming back. Maybe I’ll PM her and demand to know why…

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