(Closed) People not happy with their rings

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 78
Member
8066 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@stillwaiting88:  I think it’s just an object, so I can try to answer it.  I told him to forget the ring altogether (I would have still wanted an actual wedding band however).  He didn’t want to and he felt he wanted to get me one to “do it right” so I basically picked out the ring because I wanted something that I liked looking at if I was going to wear it everyday (I did ask his opinions though and what he thought).  When it comes down to it it’s just a piece of jewelry though for me. Like I said, if I lost it or it was stolen I wouldn’t be heartbroken.  I would get a new one…it’s just symbolic for me.  But since I don’t wear any jewelry (with the exception of my earrings-which I rarely take out) except if I am dressing up to go out, I was picky about something I’d be wearing every day.

So I don’t know how to answer…because yes if I had picked out the ring and it was $8 then I would be perfectly happy, because, well, I picked it out.  Personally I’d spend a little more, only because I don’t want something cheap that I will have to replace- not worth the effort.  But I could have done without it altogether.  I thought it was silly I needed an engagement ring to be “engaged.”  I obviously don’t buy that.

Post # 80
Member
3683 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I agree with whoever said “to each their own”.  If both people in the relationship are ok with it, what’s the problem?  It sounds like you’re in an easy position to make that kind of judgment because you were presented with a pretty, classic style you liked.  Not everyone’s so lucky.

 

I will say, though, that I have no sympathy for women that come on here “devastated” because their SO didn’t drop an extra $5k-10k on an already expensive rock.  That’s a bit of a different issue, though.

Post # 81
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Lemma:  wow, lucky gal!

Post # 82
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee

I was given a beautiful solitaire ring that I absolutely adore and am in love with, I would not change it for anything.


Not every girl is given a ring they feel that way about, which is why they want a different ring. I was beyond lucky to be given the exact gorgeous ring I wanted and it is something I will never want or need to upgrade but for the girls who weren’t, why not get something they will love to wear every day? Yes it isn’t the most important factor in a marriage but unless you were given a ring that just wasn’t your style or to your liking you don’t really know what you would do.

Post # 83
Hostess
7941 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I love my ring because it was custom made. That being said my DH made it clear that if he was going to spend that much he was determined to be sure I loved it.

Regardless of the bride’s reasoning it isn’t and shouldn’t be my concern if someone wants to change what their Fiance gave them. If the bride and groom are on the same page financially and otherwise that the upgrade or new ring is a possibility why does it matter? I am a firm believer that if it is within your means to have what you want then get what you want.

 

Post # 84
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I won’t dictate what others do or what they get but i will give an opinion.

 

To me, its not about the ring, its about what the ring represents. I love my ring and no it doesn’t match every outfit, but it shows that I am engaged and going to marry my wonderful fiance. I don’t care what others thing about it, and I loved it when I saw it. Yeah he took me to choose it out but he didn’t have to. He was just around people who told him “hey! let her choose it out” Well he half chose it out but still.

 

Some men have a huge pride in choosing out a ring for their girl that they think they will love and presenting it and I think its kinda sad when somebody tells them “hey, I don’t like it” If he says “okay, lets change it” then thats between the couple but I think , in my opinion, its wrong to keep saying you hate it until somebody changes it. I really think that the ring shouldn’t matter when it comes to engagement but I still view my ring as a symbol not as a material item. I know my parents were telling me “you change your ring out, I will hurt you” so that is probably where I get my believes from. Now, if a couple of years down the line for an anniversary the couple wants to upgrade, thats understandable. 

 

But a lot of planning, a lot of work went into my ring and its means a lot that my fiance would do that for me and surprise me so, I will never change or probably upgrade mine. 

Post # 85
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018 - Sandals Barbados

I have actually heard plenty of other people (friends of mine) voice an opinion on upgrading rings.  I just recently upgraded my ring.  At time of purchase, we had just bought a house and I knew what we could afford realistically. He picked out a beautiful ring that we both loved, but going into that purchase, we knew later down the road I would want the beautiful $7-10,000 rings I “browsed” during the first purchase.  Now that the time and money is right, we made that upgrade to my dream ring and I am t-totally IN LOVE. We actually upgraded my upgrade and decided to change the size and clarity of the solitare that came with the original setting. Most of my friends have said “Well, I want my first ring to be my only ring,” and while I would have loved that too, my fiance still had an opinion and matter in selecting my upgrade.  It still came from the heart, and he knows that I truly appreciated my first ring.  While I think the OP did come off a little judgemental, I get what she’s saying and I’ve heard it 100 times before.  Some of yall are a little more traditional than the rest of us 🙂

Post # 86
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

While I get that it may be irritating/annoying for women to complain about their rings, it is THEIR rings and I don’t understand how them not liking their rings affect anyone but themselves. To each their own…

Post # 88
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

We women are fickle creatures some times!Wink

Post # 89
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am new here and just recently upgraded my ering a couple months ago. When my FH proposed he told me that he will keep upgrading my ering until he finally get me a big one. He knew that I really don’t care about the size of diamond on my ring and all that matters to me is the commitment that comes with the ring. But he kept telling me that he wants me to have a big one because I deserve it. One day after work, he came home and hug me and whispered in my ears that he really is so blessed to have me. Some people at his work told him that the ering they’re gf wanted is worth so much that they would have to spend all they’re savings to afford it(which is there’s nothing wrong on spending $$$ on a ring if the person have it) So when he told them that he actually was the one who encouraged me to get a bigger one, they were so jealous lol. Even for the wedding, I didn’t want to spend that much money towards a simple 4 hour wedding. He said I am very happy that you’re like that but he said that he wants me to have the wedding that I really want and what will make me happy.

I picked a 1 carat ering for the upgrade. The original ering was a 1/3 carat solitaire. He took me with him when we upgraded the ring because he wants me to pick the one i really want. I tried on some that is more than a carat and they didn’t look good on me. My ring size was 4 and half so my 1 carat ering is so perfect on my hand 🙂 

So for me it’s perfectly fine to upgrade your ering if your FH is okay with it since his the one that will pay for it 🙂

Post # 90
Member
4113 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I couldn’t ever imagine discussing marriage with a man who didn’t know me well enough to pick out a ring that I would like and wear. My fiance and I are technically engaged (he’s asked my parents for permission) so now we’re going through the ring shopping process together.

His rationale was 1. I can’t keep a secret from you and 2. if we’re spending that much of OUR money, you should have a say. This, among many other reasons, is why I love him so much. We seem to be on the same page and agreed that we would never get married unless we did everything perfectly, that includes making  sure  the ring is just right.

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