Post # 107
@Adams_bee: Thank GOD somebody finally said this! Good.On.YOU! I’ve seen a lot of these posts and comments since I joined a couple of weeks ago and it’s really just shameful how much emphasis is put on the ring. Guess what? He proposed! You get to spend the rest of your life with the man you love who adores you, wants to commit, and spent the time and put tons of thought into picking out something he felt was perfect for you and is excited to get down on one knee in front of you with! You should love it because of the vast meaning behind it, not because its big enough, the right shape of stone, or absolute perfect cut and clarity.
Post # 108
Oh the sense of entitlement goes way beyond the engagement ring. I really am amazed at many of the posts I see. I will stop there before I offend!
Post # 109
Yes, the ring is just a symbol, but forever is a really long time to wear an ugly symbol. This is why I am all for couples picking the ring together. That way both can compromise, and it can be a better symbol.
But if you tell him to pick it….honey, you’re stuck. Suck it up–you got exactly what you asked for. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too….
Post # 110
More than anything what I don’t get is the mentality of “I’m allowed to demand an upgrade because he has the money”.
So? That doesn’t mean he wants to spend it on your ring. And why should him going broke to buy you a piece of jewelry prove his love more than him being responsible and thinking about your future??
Post # 111
I think everyone who posted that they are happy accepting whatever ring their Fiance picked out should also post the ring they were given. It would help to see if those of us who got not so well fitting rings are on the same page.
My experience was being unhappy with the customization of my promise ring into an e-ring. It wasn’t FI’s fault at all…it was the jewelers and after 6 months of wearing it I just couldn’t take it anymore. It looked so weird. So we took it back and she fixed it…like overhauled it to make what we had originally asked for but she said she didn’t think would work. It did…and now I LOVE IT.
But what if Fiance had brought that monstrosity home? LOL…and yes he was disappointed at first. He thought I loved it because I was too scared to say I didn’t. But like a week after getting the ring on track he forgot all about being disappointed and was really excited that I was excited about my ring.
Our FI’s don’t want us to be miserable. There are no rules that say your love of your e-ring=your love for your Fiance.
Post # 112
the way I see it, is that you got groups of people like this
1. people who have the privilege to get a nice ring, and are happy about it but don’t brag
2. people who have the privilege to get a nice ring, and are happy about it and brag
3. people who have the privilege to get a nice ring, but still want better
4. people who don’t have the privilege to get a nice ring, but are happy of what they have
5. People who don’t have the privilege to get a nice ring, upset about it, and directed their jealously towards 2 and 3.
6. People who don’t have the privilege to get a nice ring, upset about it, and directed their jealously towards 2 and 3. Then force their Fiance to get them new one or else they will cry, bitch or leave.
7. People who don’t give an fuck about it
8. Trollers, grumpy cats
so what I see, is always users 2,3 and 5 clash together, and it will be a never ending “class” fight.
sounds like hunger games? You bet, except you all have the same Carbon to fight against each other.
Post # 113
@BoxerLady: “and since when are people so ungrateful and self-entitled that they choose their own gifts”
I don’t think its really fair to call people ungrateful and self-entitled for wanting something different. I understand a gift (FI has gotten me some (ahem) underwear before that were certainly NOT my style, but I wore them and wear them all the time because he got them for me as a gift. I’m sure I’ve gotten him some clothes he doesn’t particularly like as well, but wears them because they were a gift as well. But an engagement ring isn’t clothes, and its something that we wear forever. I wouldn’t go to say it is an “investment” persay, but rather something that a girl should love.
I’m not saying that bees who disagree with the upgrading or trading in are wrong, or that the ones who do are right…just that everyone is entitled to do what is best for them and their relationship.
If you want an upgrade and Fiance would be okay with it, why the big deal about it?
If you got the ring of your dreams from Fiance and will never give that up, why the big deal about it?
The only self entitlement I see in threads like these are those that are attacking the posters wanting something different with comments that insinuate they are “ungrateful” and their destined to have a “doomed marriage”.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.
Post # 114
I’ll go there for you.
A wedding dress is a dress. It’s an outfit you need to wear for 10 hours. It doesn’t need to be a symbol of your life’s hopes and dreams. If you bought a dress and then a few months go by and you’re less into it than before, wear it anyway! My mind is blown when I see posts where women have bought 2 or 3 dresses because they “fell out of love” with their dresses. The only thing they need to stay in love with is their future spouse! Rather than falling into consumerism by buying lots of dresses, I wish they would donate the money they save to clothe people who can’t afford clothes.
Post # 115
sure. Here’s mine. I found an inclusion under the loupe the other day. Instead of throwing it back at Dear Fiance and pouting, I was happy to know my ring has it’s own little fingerprint. He spent a few hours looking at stones and everything about it makes it the unique, beautiful ring he chose for me.
Post # 116
EXACTLY! This is a totally normal ring!!!! Compare that to the poster from the last thread.
It’s easy to say I’d love anything when you get a diamond…your issue is an inclusion? Some of us don’t even know what that is because we’re not so up on it. We’d just like our rings to not have stones sticking out the sides or odd color combinations etc…
Again for example, my ring is pink hearts…great I love that…but they’re not the same size…still love it…and side by side was what I thought would look nice. The jeweler placed them stacked so the ring took up half my finger and there was no way to wear a band with that.
Post # 117
@Miss_Lionheart: I have wanted to talk to someone myself about one of my ring issues yet I feel like I would be flamed and judged like no ones business if I were to start a thread about it.
Welcome to how parents who regret having kids feel.
Post # 118
- Wedding: May 2013 - Kempinski San Lawrenz, Gozo
ok, here’s mine.
and this would have been my dream ring:
big difference? yes. Do I care? no. That beautiful ring doesn’t mean a thing because it wasn’t the one Fiance proposed with.
I might buy it for myself though, someday 🙂
Post # 119
Really? Because this kind of post is about as rampant as those posts.
Post # 120
My opinion is that an engagement ring is a gift. It is a symbol and a gift you’ll keep forever, but I have lots of gifts from Fiance that I will keep forever (side note – I wish my furbaby was one of those gifts! I never want to lose him).
Happy wife, happy life – you’d be surprised what a lot of guys agree to or say doesn’t bother them just to make a situation end (or a wife stop nagging). People can say otherwise all they want, but I work with all men, grew up with all men, and gosh darnit, I’ve learned some things from men.
Regardless of whether it’s an onion ring, a D flawless ring (which I happen to have – I’m not against a nice ring, just against *changing* what was given to you), or something that isn’t exactly your style, it’s a gift that symbolizes he wants to spend his life with you. Changing the ring doesn’t make sense to me (sure, I want to spend my life with you, but I need THIS ring in order to be happy about it).
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Whatever works for, and is true to, your relationship. I personally wouldn’t want superficiality to be at the height of what’s true to my union, but that’s just me. People post these crazy ring stories looking to be validated, and I’m happy they can find that validation here. If it wasn’t a contentious issue that deep in their gut they knew might be a bit off, why come online asking strangers about it? Why not just do it and not give it a second thought?
We can agree to disagree 🙂
Post # 121
I get that I have a pretty “basic” ring, but I’m sure some people still wouldn’t like it. It is what it is.