(Closed) people register for engagement parties??

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
64 posts
Worker bee

I don’t think so but maybe this is regional? We’re in the mountain West and definitely not common out here.

Post # 4
2247 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I read the title, and said “HUH!?” and continued to Huh all the way through your post. I’ve never heard of anyone registering for an engagement party. Are they confused thinking this is somehow a wedding shower?

Post # 5
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’ve never heard of someone registering for an engagment. Maybe they’re just asking where your wedding registry is, assuming you’ve already registered? We were engaged for only 4 months and I wasn’t at all expecting any engagement gifts. A few people brought some kitchen odds and ends and picture frames. If people want to bring gifts I think they should just pick something out and bring it.

Post # 6
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think I read in some wedding planning/etiquette book that you can actually register in advance of all pre-wedding parties… or some people may have separate registries for each (a friend of mine had a wedding shower registry at victoria’s secret separate from her wedding registry)

I think if people are asking, you should put one together if you have time. It doesn’t need to be the china yet…but like some nice wine or home goods? 

Post # 7
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Oo_mrsmay:  ha. so this may be a regional thing as PPs have alluded too (I’m also from LI). we were were also inundated with emails and texts asking where we were registered, despite kindly requesting no gifts. we did finally wind up registering, just to make it easier for our guests. we took care to register only for small things, $20-$50 and even then got many “why didn’t you put larger things on your registry” comments. it’s totally up to you, but if your guests are ASKING for a registry i don’t see the harm in creating one.

Post # 8
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I had no idea either, so I went to bed beyond and asked about it. They said it was uncommon so I registered for the wedding and figured if anyone asks -ll tell them where I’m registered for the wedding.

Post # 10
12262 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think anytime a party is thrown in honor of someone, many guest may feel the need to purchase something for them and not show up empty handed for some free food and a party.  My Mother-In-Law wanted us to start our wedding registry before our engagement party so people could buy stuff if they watned to, but we were gifted with cash and gift cards for it instead.

Post # 11
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’ve never heard of that, I would just let the guest know you will have one closer to the wedding date.

Post # 12
4134 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I was just in the same situation and when people asked me where I was registered, I told them it was just an engagement party and we weren’t expecting gifts. They all brought gifts anyway, mostly cash.

Post # 13
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Must be regional (NY/NJ in the house), I have always brought gifts to engagement parties. My fiance and I asked that an engagement party not be hosted for us, but my in-laws insisted that we still register IMMEDIATELY. Seriously, we were registered months before we had a date for the shower.  In the time period between the engagement and registering (about a month or so), we received lots of crystal and Lenox tchthokes in the mail… gorgeous, and we’ve put them to good use, but not items we would have selected ourselves. If people want to give gifts, they’re going to give them whether you are registered or not. Especially to an engagement party in the northeast.

Post # 14
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had my engagement party a couple of months ago.  Several people asked where we were registered, so I made a sparse registry on Target and Macy’s websites just for the event.  In the end, everyone gave us giftcards/cash.

Post # 15
7519 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It is pretty common here in Australia. But here most people have engagement parties and we don’t really do engagement pictures sessions. I think it is just a location thing!

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