(Closed) People RSVPing a Plus Guest when They Didn’t Get One

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Call and be kind:

“Hi, I’m so sorry but we’re limited in the amount of people we can invite due to capcity- I wish we can accomdate but at this time it’s just not possible”

if you WANT to add this (I did):


“although we’d love to allow your guest to come if there is room unfortunately I will not know until a little later when we get all the RSVP’s in”

Post # 4
1736 posts
Bumble bee

RSVPing with a guest when you weren’t invited with one is without a doubt manner-less. I happen to feel that you have every right to call those guests and tell them that you’re sorry for any confusion, but they were not invited with a plus one. Hopefully they understand, but if you get some push back, stand your ground and tell them there are no exceptions.

Like the PP above said, if you end up with some extra seats at the end, you can call that guest back and say that they can bring their date…but make no promises!

Post # 5
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My mom’s friend added her two kids to her RSVP – then emailed me a week later and told me she was sorry but couldn’t attend anymore. ugh ugh ugh. Solved that problem.

I personally don’t like to confront people about this. Do you have any “no” responses yet? Perhaps you can let this one slide if you have gotten some nos.

If it does come down to you getting a lot of “yesses” then you will have to take action. It’s up to you whether you think you should nip this in the bud and call them now, or wait til later.

Post # 6
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Call them and say, nicely, you can’t accommodate their guest.

Post # 7
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you need to call ASAP and not wait. You made a rule and you need to stick with it! If you allow these rude folks to bring their guests and the nice folks who obliged by the rules not to, it can get messy.

Post # 8
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

“We’re so sorry-we have space and budget limitations and can’t accommodate guests’ dates. We look forward to seeing you at the wedding!”


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