(Closed) People saying you’re “Too Young”?—A Thread Just for You

posted 9 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 123
Member
1954 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m so over this argument. Just because we’re young doesn’t mean we can’t get married. I was engaged at 20 (OH 23), will be 21 on my wedding day (him 24 – just under two months from now!). We got together when I was 16, and he was 19. We’ve been through a lot in the almost five years we’ve been together. We’re financially stable (although he’s currently between jobs) and both of us finished year 12. I did a short course after that, but nothing came from it. Love and being married has nothing to do with how many years of uni/college you did. Tbh, I’d still marry him if he didn’t finish year 8. I have no regrets in the decision to marry OH.

Post # 124
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Mount Hermon

This is a very helpful thread, thank you Bees.

I am 22 right now, and not engaged yet.  But we would be if we could.  Realistically, I’ll probably be 24 or 25 before we get married, which will make me the oldest woman in my entire extended family on her wedding day.  They were all 20-22 on their wedding days, with one cousin being two months shy of 24.  None of them have had (or will probably ever have) a divorce, so they all made sound decisions.  So I’ll get “you’re getting old!” from my family and “you’re too young” from everyone else.  The best of both worlds, goodie! 

Post # 125
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Hubby and I got married when we were 19/20. I wouldnt say too young but I would say we werent ready. Those are two different things. Darling Husband decided to post pone college and work and I am still working on my bio degree with hopes of going to dental school. Its been hard but here we are after 5 years together and almost 2 years of marraige still going strong.

Post # 126
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’ve actually read a study that suggested people who get married young are more likely to have a successful marriage vs. people who get married older. They say that is due to when people are young, they learn and grow together and they get into their habits of being together, but when older couples get married, sometimes they are too stuck in their ways and unwilling to adapt to the new person and henceforth they divorce. I’m sure there are exceptions to that study, but I did find it interesting.

My and my SO have been together since I was 18 and in my  senior year of high school. I’m 21 now and we’re saving money to get engaged and married as well as get our own place. We’re completely happy with eachother and can’t imagine life without the other. We’re both still able to try to better ourself and meet our own goals, but we do it together and support each other. I got into a competitive nursing program right out of high school, by then he had finished an automotive degree and was in the military (a couple of his own goals). We support each other, we overcome obstacles together, and we love each other whole heartedly. To those naysayers out there, you keep naysaying away but just know that I don’t give a rats behind what you think. 

Post # 127
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m dealing with this right now about having kids, love this thread!

We got married earlier this year, and I’m 26, Fiance is 28. We were told “What’s the rush??” “Are you pregnant?!” “You should wait until you’re older/in a house/financially stable!” 

LOL.

I can laugh about it now because I realize how crazy they were for saying those things. We’re both college graduates, we had been together for 8 years, and we had moved across the country to live with each other. I was so sure everyone would be thrilled we were finally getting married! 

And it’s funny because my parents were 19 when they were married. I agree with PP who said people often comment on age because they regret doing it so young. That doesn’t mean it won’t work for you. And you know what? If it doesn’t, that’s ok! Life goes on. The world does not stop spending. It’ll be a’ight! 

My advice to “young” brides would be this:

 

1) You should be able to financially take care of yourself. Meaning: “I can pay my bills, put gas in my car and put food on my plate without needing the help from Mom/Dad/Sister/Grandparent.” You don’t have to have a fully funded 401k, a well paying job, and a $20k savings account in order to have a successful marriage. Some of the most well off people are the most miserable in their marriages! Wink (*cough* in laws *cough*)

2) You should have an understanding of what marriage is…and isn’t. Only you can decide that and it varies from couple to couple. 

3) You should love that person more than anything. 

 

If you’re reading the above and shaking your head “yes”, CONGRATS! Now go and say “I do!”

 

 

Post # 128
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My FH and I have been engaged since my Sr Prom night when I was 18, and he was 21, over 2 years ago. We decided to wait until I was 21 before getting married. We have been happily together since I was 16, and he 18 and we’ve lived together since I graduated high school (2 years now). My FH has a decent job. While I wouldn’t say we’re fully stable, we’re making it on our own. However I still get help from my parents for school expenses (tuition, and sometimes gas to get to school, considering I drive 100 mi a day for school)

While I don’t think it’s necessarily a great excuse, our financial situation will improve once we are married. I already have a boat load in student loans because my parents make too much for me to get grants, and it just got worse because my sister turned 24 so my parents are no longer on her FAFSA. 

I’m already dealing with the whole issue of wanting to have babies and school getting in the way. I’m also dealing with wanting to buy a house, but I can’t get a job to help pay enough to work around school. Whether we’re married or not has nothing to do with the issues. It would happen either way, especially considering my major is focused on child development. 

The way I see it, The pros to getting married outweigh the cons, and I desperately want to go from calling him my fiance to my hubby. Anyone who doesn’t want to support us, doesn’t need to be a part of our marriage anyway. 

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