(Closed) People showing off how quickly they conceived

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

As someone who did conceive on the first try, I certainly don’t boast about it but I’m pregnant and people have questions so I have told them about how lucky we were, I have PCOS and thought it may take a very long time or would need intervention. Also around here people often make threads asking how long it took etc and I want to give hope to people who are about to TTC, especially those with potential fertility issues that anything is possible. So for me if I ever talk about it, it’s more out of excitement and disbelief than anything, I certainly do not think I’m better than anyone else.

I wouldn’t tell anyone you’re TTC, it’s nobody’s business.

Post # 17
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

It never occurred to me to tell anyone we were trying. Thanks god as it took almost a year and people asking was a pressure I didn’t need. 

A colleague of mine always boasts how her daughter was born exactly 9 months after her birthday. It was her “gift” that year and she basically stopped the pill that week. Not only is it insensitive but it makes me quesy. 

Post # 18
Member
318 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
beignetwife :  Lol. Your ovaries “don’t impress me much”. 😘 Good luck with your journey!

Post # 19
Member
15464 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
camenae :  HAHAHA totally not the way I meant it.. but yes. LOL  could definitely be literal too!

Post # 20
Member
4225 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I took 7 months of TTC for us. My Father-In-Law always brought up how for him and my late Mother-In-Law conception was easy. Apparently my Brother-In-Law was an accident…and they weren’t using protection because my late Mother-In-Law apparently had some issue with her falopian tubes and they assumed they’d need help getting pregnant anyways. To concieve my DH it apparently took only five weeks.

My SIL also liked to boast that my niece was an accident and it was super easy for them.

DH hearing all this assumed that conception was this magical thing that happened right away. Through a lot of TTC he blamed me and acted like something was wrong with me because we “took so long” to get pregnant *facepalm*

Post # 21
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Thank you!  Seriously, you just described all of my friends, who apparently all got pregnant on the first try.  I was lucky with my first and got pregnant fairly easily but have been trying for awhile now for a second with no luck.  I am so tired of hearing about everyone and how they got pregnant first try!

 

Post # 22
Member
4329 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

Haha the only time I’ve heard anyone even remotely brag about conceiving quickly was my mom. And she did it when I was confiding in her that I was nervious about getting divorced at 31 and having to start all over again, worrying about being able to have kids once I finally meet someone worthy… It was her way of saying “you dont need to worry just yet”. My friends discuss how long it took them and all that, but its a conversation, not a bragging podium lol. That would be an incredibly weird thing to actaully brag about, but I do know people who likely would if I ever let them talk about their sex lives…. lol

Post # 23
Member
2989 posts
Sugar bee

It’s one thing to joke…my mom makes fun of it all the time how fast she got pregnant with me and my sister (this was a blessing to her because she tried for a while and suffered a miscarriage before me so the fact she had two healthy babies after was a relief). But to act like you had anything to do with conceiving….is just dumb. 

And I can’t get over how insenstitive people are. To brag about things like that in front of other who you know are having struggles is just cruel.

I’m sorry Bee.

Post # 24
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

View original reply
beignetwife :  it’s your body!!  – TTC has nothing to do with anyone else. Everyone is different. Let nature do it’s thing, try not to put pressure on yourself. X 

Post # 25
Member
14016 posts
Honey Beekeeper

It’s immediate family, so maybe she just doesn’t realize she needs to have a filter for this kind of thing around you. Yes, it’s tactless, but I’d assume good intentions and try not to let it get to you too much. You can also try the subtle approach by pointing out that a lot of people aren’t that fortunate. 

Of course you don’t have to tell anyone when you start TTC. I can’t imagine why you would. That is nobody’s business but yours. 

Post # 27
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Never really had anyone brag to me about how quickly they conceived. I have PCOs it took us 13 months, 6 medicated cycles and lots of testing to get pregnant. I’m now in my 28th week. My mom and older sister had no trouble conceiving, my mom even got pregnant on BC with my younger sister. But never once did they say anthing about how long it took us to conceive, nothing but their support the whole time. We told my parents his parents and my sisters when we started trying.  The one person I am worried about talking about it is my my cousin who is pregnant with her third right now same age has been married less time then me. She seems to think about getting pregnant and she does. I just worry she is gonna wanna bond and talk to me about it and I have no interest in that at all. 

Post # 28
Member
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Having conceived on my wedding night – the first night we stopped preventing pregnancy – and not having expected to get pregnant for 3 to 6 months (which is apparently the normal average) I was SHOCKED.

I have to admit honestly that I never thought about whether or not telling people about our crazy surprise would come off as bragging. We didn’t feel superior at all – we felt shocked, like it was a mix between winning the lottery and having your house sell before you have a new house picked out… Totally amazing, but now what do you do?! We told people close to us about the timeline because we honestly couldn’t believe it!

Post # 29
Member
9385 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

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beignetwife :  I hear you, Its a wierd thing to boast about.. But people boast about all sorts of wierd things that they didn’t actually work to achieve.

My mom always told me about how quickly I was conceived (barely more than 9 months from the wedding), especially when I mention I may have issues TTC (on my dads side we have misshaped uterus and lots of miscarriages). Only a year ago did I find out the reason my brother is 6 years younger than me is because they had issues TTC.. He was supposed to be 1-2 years younger than me.  

i guess people don’t like to reminisce on hard times, but it sure paints a distorted picture of reality via anecdotes!

Post # 30
Member
910 posts
Busy bee

My mum likes to tell me how easy it was for her to conceive. They just decided to have me and bam! Pregnant! She also ‘just ate a few different things to make you a girl’ and she got me LOL. 

We’ve been trying for a few years. I have secondary infertility. The other day my mum texted me and asked why can’t I just count 2 weeks from my period and try then. Ok, mum, I’ll do that lol! 

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