(Closed) People showing up at wedding who did not RSVP

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Just curious how this would even be possible.  If they don’t RSVP by the date, aren’t you supposed to call them and get an answer that way?

Post # 4
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Do you mean people who randomly bring along a date that wasn’t mentioned in the RSVP and they weren’t invited with a +1?

Post # 5
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

my fear also!!! i’m going to be on people’s asses as the due date nears to get clear cut answers. and if ppl show up that are not on the rsvp list too bad so sad, lol plus were having security!

Post # 6
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I had the opposite problem – a slew of people who said they’d come just didn’t.  I think if extras do show up, things will balance out (or have a few extra seats just in case).  You should be calling people after the deadline to get answers, or give your families that job.

@futuremrsk18:  +1

Post # 7
Member
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have been to maybe 6 weddings and have never recieved a phone call due to lack of RSVP…and I didn’t respond for one (it’s a long story) and am usually last minute, maybe last day or a day or two late to the deadline. 

I posted someplace else this last night that (no idea where I got these #s from though- but have seen them on wedding sites again and again) 25% of people who do not RSVP WILL show up (or bring +1) and 10-15% of guests who RSVP’d yes will not show.  I wouldn’t be too concerned, but maybe adding a few random seats if you are doing seating arrangements- worst case there are a handful of empty seats.

Post # 8
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Oh man…I was going to ask this too!  We have 15 tables of 10 seats and I’m terrified of this happening!  I didn’t know you were supposed to call if they didn’t make the rsvp deadline?  But I’ve never planned a wedding either lol…I’m also curious if this has happened to anyone?  Too many people & not enough chairs; I could handle there being empty seats (although annoyed that I would have to pay for their plate).

Post # 9
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Our plan is to call everyone 2-3 weeks before to anyone that hasn’t submitted their RSVP and to do an email blast 1 weeks before. We will have an extra table or two for vendors and straggler guests but they wont have escort cards.

Post # 10
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I hope this doesnt happen – I am already talking to my guests before the RSVP date anyway! I guess I am lucky in that the venue is my parents house so worse case scenario they can sit in the lounge with a plate on their laps!! hehe… it would be the “I didnt RSVP on time” corner (Im not that mean…honest!)

Post # 11
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i had one cousin say he couldn’t make it and then he showed up anyway. i had a few univited people show up too. i don’t know what they were thinking. like, who does that?

there were a lot of people who said they’d be there and then didn’t show up, so as far as seating went, we had more than enough tables and chairs for everyone.

Post # 12
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t foresee anyone showing up who RSVP’d no. But I could see people not show up who said they were going to OR bring along their kids when the invite is addressed to them only.

Post # 13
Hostess
2634 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@KKG:  i would just let your day of planner (or a trusted family member) tell any one that shows up that are not on the guest list (the final guest list) that those people can’t have access to your wedding. This included ppl that RSVP’d no and unexpected +1 guest.

Even better, I am def going to do this, I would “kindly” let those extra ppl know that they would need to wait to POSSIBLY be seated. I would get my wedding planner/trusted friend to only seat those ppl if RSVP’s guest didn’t show by a certain time. If there is no space left, they have to take their but home. 

It may sound rude, but I am not paying $100+ for some guest that thinks it’s ok just to show…not ok!!! and I will deal with them personally if drama occurs…I will shut it down!!!

Post # 14
Hostess
2634 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@KKG:  i would just let your day of planner (or a trusted family member) tell any one that shows up that are not on the guest list (the final guest list) that those people can’t have access to your wedding. This included ppl that RSVP’d no and unexpected +1 guest.

Even better, I am def going to do this, I would “kindly” let those extra ppl know that they would need to wait to POSSIBLY be seated. I would get my wedding planner/trusted friend to only seat those ppl if RSVP’s guest didn’t show by a certain time. If there is no space left, they have to take their but home. 

It may sound rude, but I am not paying $100+ for some guest that thinks it’s ok just to show…not ok!!! and I will deal with them personally if drama occurs…I will shut it down!!!

Post # 16
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We didn’t have this problem at all. 

We also followed up with every non-RSVP and asked them for a reply directly. That solved a LOT of problems. If anything, those are the people that didn’t show up in the end because they clearly didn’t make it a priority. 

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