(Closed) People telling me I look tired and other comments… how do you respond?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@loveknows:  Do they know you’re pregnant? Because I always look tired even on my “good” days because those don’t compare to pre-pregnancy. I’m sure she meant it in a nice way, sympathetic way (kind of like, you deserve to be tired because pregnancy is hard work kind of thing).

When someone comments about being tired, a little slow (intellectually.. baby brain is REAL) or just sluggish in general I usually just say “oh you know, this growing a baby thing is hard work!”. Mostly people just want to make conversation and are not actually trying to shed negative light on you.

 

Post # 5
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@loveknows:  I hate it because most of my coworkers direct the unwanted attention to my body parts – ‘Oh, your boobs look HUGE!’ and ‘Your belly is getting enormous! Its so cute!’ I am an extremely private person and I HATE the comments! It creeps me out so bad but I haven’t figured out what to do about it. So I guess I’m no help, but at least I can commiserate 🙂

Post # 7
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@loveknows:  As much as you can, try not to take things too personal.  I think people just like to say anything to pregnant women- just to be connected to us!

I had a woman at the grocery store tell me that I looked tired and my response was “Really? I feel great today- probably just my bodies way of making sure that baby has what he needs to grow” and smiled. It wasn’t rude, but it kind of shut her up.  It lets me stay positive about the pregnancy because I DO feel pretty good.  But even if I didn’t feel good, I’d be OK with the poor looks because my LO is getting what he needs.

Post # 8
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m not pregnant but I thought I’d chime in because I absolutely HATE when people say this. There is no good meaning behind it and they’re basically saying “you look like shit today!”  How great!  Even when I was in grad school, got little sleep, and probably did look like shit, I still hated this comment.

If you want it to stop, I think you should be blunt: “Oh, I’m actually feeling great today, but thanks for saying I look bad!”  That will shame them into not saying it again.

Post # 9
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Yup, remember my pregnancy. Everybody suddenly thinks your public property. Stranger touching you, everybody constantly commenting on your body. 

But I sort of get it, it’s just an awkward way of trying to be involved. As far as stranger go: just smile politly and walk away. Or be rude back. They sort of deserve it.

But your co-workers/friends/family members are probably just concerned and want to take care of you. Especially the woman because they are projecting their feelings about their pregnancy on you. No harm in taking a little advantage of them. Say: “O yes! really tired, could you please do this for me?” and then have yourself a mini-break 😉

Post # 10
Member
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Pregnant ladies just attract attention, whether we like it or not. I think people just want to have something to say or they think it makes them seem concerned about your well being, when really they’re just getting on your nerves.

I haven’t really gotten the “you look tired” comments but I’m not quite as far along (24 weeks). Mostly I get “how are you feeling?” and “OMG, your belly is so cute!” complete with pointing and giggling. I just keep reminding myself it will all be over soon.

 

Post # 11
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oi! I hate that!

I remember the day I told my co-workers they said,  I thought you looked a little tired lately.  I just smiled. 

But in my b*tchy dreams i would have said something along the lines of

No.  I dont look tired.. I look like i am baking a human being in my body… Today? My baby had an aerobics session in my belly, last week I actually created baby fingernails- what did you do to look so tired?”

Post # 12
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

The worst I ever got, while pregnant was when I wore a polka dotted, wrap dress, in black and white.

 

This  guy said “that dress looks like you are wearing the whole universe”.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@loveknows:  “Of course I’m tired!  I am creating life 24 hours a day for 9 months dummy!”  I like the shaming method of dealing with these people.  They also fall in with the people who will likely ask if you’re having twins because you “look so big.”

Post # 15
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@loveknows:  this won’t stop here, after the baby is born people will give you unsolicited advice and then for the rest of your life about how you chose to raise your child.

 

Develop the skill to take it all in, and know who to listen to, and who to block out.

Practice the art  of smizing (as Tyra Banks says)now, when someone remarks on your belly size, the bags under your eyes, how you carry your weight, etc.

And curse them out in your head.

 

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