Post # 1
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
So me and the FI had a discussion on our views on the world after he went to a professional retreat conference. He told me he was shocked at how many people think we live in a society that lies.
We’re both lucky to have an amazing group of people we surround ourselves with. Never any drama. We both don’t accept that the majority of people lie….
but then it got me thinking how many people could be lying and I wouldn’t know it….More so people I just meet, people on the internet and even people on here.
I mean how would you ever know…Do we live in a world that’s use to lying, embellishing the truth?
Post # 3
Member
8997 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Everybody lies. If they deny it, they’re liars. To what degree is the problem. I think some white lies are completely harmless. Embellishing the truth, that depends. During storytelling, we tend to make it sound more exciting than it actually was. [“The fish was |_____| big! Oh my god!”] but the “dangerous” lies are the ones that being to affect or impact people’s lives.
Post # 4
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
But then when do constant white lies turn into more then just harmless embellishments? I wouldn’t want to be associated with someone who always white lies.
I don’t think someone who says they don’t lie is a liar. I’m an open book, try not to lie, if I don’t feel comfortable with sharing I don’t share, but I def. don’t lie about it…
Post # 5
Member
9692 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
@Hyperventilate: +1, exactly. People lie to save face, to look good, to make someone else look bad, or to really damage someone’s reputation/life. Maybe we even lie to save someone’s feelings, someone’s life, or a relationship. Everyone does…but to what degree and to what end is open for debate.
Post # 6
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
@Hyperventilate: Yeps!
Everyone lies. Some more than others. Some to cause trouble, some to cover embaressment and some even without realizing.
Post # 7
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Personally, I can’t remember the last time I told a lie – white or otherwise. It rarely makes life easier. As I’ve grown up and matured, I’ve realized it’s always better and easier to take responsibility for your words/actions and fess up when you’ve done something wrong. It’s way too much work to make up some elaborate story to cover your ass ass then it is to just fess up and apologize. I strive not to do anything in the first place that would make me look bad, though. I’m pretty blunt nowadays and honestly don’t really care what anyone else thinks about me. I’m comfortable with who I am and where I am in life.
Post # 8
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
@MrsWBS
Yes me too, but my last was by accident and it was just easier to say then explain the whole thing. made me feel bad though!
Ya I think my FI and I are a bit too nice and maybe too nieve.
Post # 9
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
I think everyone lies more than they think.
I lie to get out of class, I’ve lied about being sick, I’ve lied at work about why I called in, I lie when I say I’m working on an essay if the teacher asks and I haven’t, I lie to my 3 year old about whether we have cookies, etc.
I try not to tell stupid or “big” lies, I don’t lie to FI unless it’s about a surprise or presents.
I try not to lie about whether things look good on people if they don’t.
I think it’s the people that lie to cause drama you need to worry about, like I saw so and so with whohaw, ya know those people.
Post # 10
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
I lie at work all the time. “Sorry, Joe is in a meeting right now. Can I talk a message?” Joe is sitting right at his desk, but just doesn’t want to take the call. I’m excellent at lying to get people out of a phone call haha.
I’ll white lie occasionally (i.e. I’m running a litte late…I blame it on the train or something), but that’s about it. I really hate fake people. Just be straight with me!
Post # 11
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
Everyone lies. People just have to accept it as a fact and deal with it. I agree, that sometimes lying is very frustrating and you just want to scream and yell and make the other person stop lying. Example: my brother is staying with us at the moment and I am like: “Hey, did you load the dishwasher last night?” He goes: ” Yes”. I am like: “The dishes are dirty though” and he replies:” Oh yeah, I guess I forgot”. Why lie in the first place? So annoying, it makes me go ballistic! And he has been doing it his whole life!
Post # 12
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I’m honest to a fault, but even I exaggerate or tell a white lie sometimes. Generally my motivation is to not hurt someone’s feelings.
For example, I’ve said “oh I’m busy” in the past if I’ve been invited to something I REALLY don’t want to go to. If I said “well honestly I’d be bored out of my mind and I hate half the people that are going”, that would be rude.
Or… if someone asks my opinion on a piece of clothing that they already own, I’m not going to say it’s butt ugly.
I am not sure I’ve ever told a malicious lie. Being brutally honest is worse than white lies IMO. I don’t think anyone should make a habit out of telling lies.. white or otherwise, but to spare someone’s feelings it can be better than the truth.
Post # 13
Member
1146 posts
Bumble bee
I tend to overexaggerate quite a bit, or tell white lies. I try to stay away from big lies that could come back to bite me in the ass, but I have been known to do them in the past. I’m much better at telling a white lie when I’m not face-to-face with someone, because it is obvious that I’m not being truthful.
Lying can be frustrating, yes, but it’s just a part of life.
A lie I was told once that stands out was when a former co-worker asked if I could cover her shift, because she had a fever, was throwing up, etc. I said sure, no problem, went to work. Well imagine my surprise during the night when she and her boyfriend came in to eat. Seriously? I never covered her shifts again.
Post # 14
Member
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@asianbarbie: I lie all the time to strangers. I don’t want kids, but I tell them that we’re trying so they’ll leave us alone. I tell JWs that knock on my door we’ve been ex-communicated so that they don’t come back. The list goes on and on and I definitely don’t feel guilty or lose any sleep over it. With my closest friends, I’m brutally honest (i.e. your backfat is hanging out, that looks terrible on you, etc).
Post # 15
Member
4497 posts
Honey bee
Everyone lies. I lie all the time! To me the difference is whether its malicious or not and who you’re lying to. Sorry, I’m not going to tell someone that their new haircut is hideous or that I left work early because of cramps.
Post # 16
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
Everyone lies. I lie, I know I do. I don’t believe white lies are harmless either. If you tell a small white lie and all of a sudden that white lie comes back how do you get out of it, and if you say tell the truth I call BS, you lie again. That will come back some how everyone lies but its the ones that don’t effect anyone that are harmless. I have been trying to not lie and be as honest as possible even by being upfront with thing especially with my FI. I tell him everything because I find its less/no arguing if I am upfront.
I have a great group of friends but I know we all lie a little I have found out along the road and they still are amazing people. I don’t think any less of them because I know they had their reasons. The lies don’t create drama thats the people themselves so I don’t think lying is necessarly bad but not good either I am kind of indifferent but I try not to do it.
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