(Closed) People that RSVP ‘Yes’ But Don’t Show Up

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 47
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I had quite a few that RSVP’d yes and didn’t show up.  I’m understanding about the out of town friend whose babysitter fell through and another friend who attended a company work party that was scheduled after the wedding but I was bothered by those who didn’t even offer an explanation at a later date.  Even just a short text messge or e-mail would have been nice.  Most of those that didn’t show up were people I felt I needed to invite instead of close friends so it doesn’t really bother me.

Post # 48
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I had quite a few that RSVP’d yes and didn’t show up.  I’m understanding about the out of town friend whose babysitter fell through and another friend who attended a company work party that was scheduled after the wedding but I was bothered by those who didn’t even offer an explanation at a later date.  Even just a short text messge or e-mail would have been nice.  Most of those that didn’t show up were people I felt I needed to invite instead of close friends so it doesn’t really bother me.

Post # 48
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009
Post # 49
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

we had a couple notify us only 2 days before the wedding that they would not be able to make it due to car breaking down and no money to fix it. No problem, I still had to pay for their food, but at least they gave me some kind of notice.

Until a couple days ago when Darling Husband and I find out that they lied and really went on a impromptu road trip to the beach. They even posted pics of themselves..with their fully functioning car..on FB for everyone to see.

It hurts to realize this, but some people just dont care about you or your wedding….at all.

Post # 50
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We had a couple not show up  because they couldn’t find someone to watch their dog. I got married on a beach. Dogs are welcome….

Post # 51
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

my married friends have already warned me about this and we plan to do an estimate on the families that rsvp from far away that we arent sure will make the drive when it comes time and we’re probably going to quote 10 less than our confirmed yes’s… we can always add on the day of but cant makeup for prepaid meals!

Post # 52
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We had 4 that called 4 days before.  We had 2 that called 3 days before.  Then we had 8 people just not show up.  It was disturbing.  Still haven’t heard from some of them.

Post # 53
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My friend had quite a few no shows..She never listed an exact number, but she invited 150. I think she was planning on 75 showing..Inlcuding wedding party there were 28 of us.  The groom seemed really upset about the turn out.

 

We’re planning 2 no shows at our wedding. It’ll cost us $40 per person that doesn’t show.

Post # 55
Member
961 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Of 64 guests we had 8 no-shows.  3 let us know 2 days before (1 of those was the wife of the best man(her g-ma was sick, forgivable), the other (party of 2) was our friend/DJ – yup, no music at our reception!), 1 (party of 3) was my best friend from my 20s (she is in a bad relationship and couldn’t handle my wedded bliss, seriously, why she RSVP’d yes then, is beyond me.)  Another was to travel from 3000 miles away…  and had to have known he didn’t have a plane ticket when we asked him the day we sent in our counts if he was sure he was coming!  The last was a friend who’s cat got sick and spent the weekend in the vets…  understandable.  Kind of a bummer that an entire table’s worth of people no-showed, but we didn’t dwell on it.

Post # 56
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

i dont think we had anyone that did this.  at least not that i ever found out about.  thank god!

Post # 57
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

we only invited people we thought we couldnt have without there. 

Small wedding as it was we had 67 people rsvp and 42 show up. 

Cost us money that could of been spent on others that acually wanted to be there…. not to mention the empty seats with place cards in those spots.  Barly anyone explained why they werent there and on another side of this i have other friends asking why they werent invited.  Makes me feel as if I should of invited the ones that would of showed up……. I no longer speak to a friend that ive been close friends with for the past 23 years and I no longer will speak with a friend that ive had for 2 years.  This hole wedding made me realize who ARE my friends and who ARENT my friends so in that aspect it was a good thing!

People are sooo rude when they do things such as this!!! I just dont understand it!!

Post # 58
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

All of FH’s friends from work bailed on our wedding shower last month. He came to the shower (only guy there) so he could catch up with them. Since he started college, he hasn’t really seen any of them, and he was SO excited to see them all.

All four of them didn’t show up. He was the only one at his table. 🙁

One had an excuse that she got called into work (ever heard of saying “no, I have plans?”). One said she had car trouble (she’s the one person I believe) and we never heard from the other two. Except we know one of them when on vacation with her boyfriend the day before.

I’m petrified that they’ll do the same for the wedding. My good friend hosted the shower and paid a lot for everyone’s plate. I feel SO awful about costing her that money!

Post # 59
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I didn’t have any no-shows but I had a couple that cancelled at the last minute. One of my good friends who lives across the country RSVP’d for herself and her boyfriend. Two weeks before the wedding, I’m talking to one of our mutual friends about how excited I was to meet said boyfriend. Turns out, he wasn’t coming because he ran out of vacation when he helped first friend move in with him. She doesn’t tell me this herself until I press her about it and wouldn’t he have had to buy plane tickets farther in advance? (D.C. to Los Angeles) I doubt he was ever going to come.

So she asks if she can bring a friend from grad school that still lives in LA. I’ve met him before, so I say sure and make another escort card. Then he’s busy so she’s going to come alone.

Finally, her grandmother passes away and she can’t come at all. The funeral was a week before the wedding, but she had planned to get to town a few days before the wedding and when she needed to fly she was still consoling her parents. She couldn’t afford to change the tickets to a day closer to the wedding.

Post # 60
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

I am so embarrased to say that I committed this awful crime!  It was five years ago, and I was invited to the wedding of an old friend.  Someone I was not close to at all, but we worked together a while back.  I had RSVP’d yes, for myself and my (then) Boyfriend or Best Friend.  Well, two weeks later, I found out he cheated on me, and I had to move out of our house, and I was scrambling to find my own place, and everything was in boxes, and…I forgot.  I was such an emotional wreck that I just didn’t think about it again.

Of course, this friend didn’t know about my breakup (she’s not in my inner circle), so I felt like an idiot when I called her a few weeks later to explain. (I wanted to make sure they were back from their honeymoon.)

Anyway, she doesn’t talk to me anymore.  I totally understand.  I still feel like an idiot.

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