(Closed) People that RSVP ‘Yes’ But Don’t Show Up

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 62
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I had several members of my immediately family… older siblings that RSVP’d yes and then didnt show up… and I even saw them since then and they didnt say one word about it

Also had a few friends and when i commented that I missed them at the wedding and was looking forward to seeing them… they had no comment on any of it

Post # 63
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I hope this doesn’t happen to me!

I would be horribly pissed and I would probably give the no-shows a call so they could explain themselves. “So what happened? You didn’t show up…”

Post # 64
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

Out of 210 confirmed guests, we had 3 no-shows.  2 family members, 1 friend.  No one offered an explanation.  So rude.

Post # 66
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

we had 3 that were no shows – actually they texted us the night before.  I was upset but I guess this is life.  They’re getting married soon… they’ll realize the mixtake!

Post # 67
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Short of some unenpected true emergency, I honestly cannot wrap my brain around people who RSVP “yes” to weddings and then don’t show. I would NEVER do that, and if I did, I would fully expect that the couple would never speak to me again.

@michellemikeliu- AMEN on the constant changes/people changing their mind on the RSVP’s. I am currently ready to RIP my hair out about that. Our RSVP cards were due in August 5th. I currently am dealing with people, who RSVP’d “yes” WITH guests- but are now “not sure” whether or not they are bringing a guest and who that person will be. Oh- and mind you- they didn’t tell me this directly- I had to find it out through Facebook commentary that I might end up paying for their guests, who may- or may not- show. Seriously people?  

Post # 68
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It happened to all 3 of my older siblings, but not to me. My wedding was only 140 people and I said hello to everyone, so I know everyone was there. I did, however, have oen couple verbally RSVP yes and fail to mail in their response card, 1 week before the wedding it arrives in the mail as a “no”. I was pissed because we had obviously counted them as a “yes” in the headcount, plus that’s really messed up. They were just reserving the right to be there or not, depending how they felt that week.

Post # 69
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We had three total (out of 130), and they all irritated the everliving crap out of me, much more than I thought they would. Two were for DH’s landlord and the plus one that she said she was bringing, who was not invited. We were wary that she wouldn’t show up and Darling Husband kept calling/texting her the week of the wedding and she never replied….until they day before, when she said “oh sorry I had to go to Portugal.” Whatever. So we ended up paying for her (I wasn’t crazy about inviting her in the first place), plus her non-invited date–bad enough to add yourself a plus one, not to mention not showing up! The third no-show was a co-worker of DH’s who decided she was “mad” at him two days before the wedding because of some off-hand comment and used it as an excuse not to come (we think it was because her boyfriend couldn’t come and she’s too wimpy to go to a wedding by herself). So that was a couple hundred dollars down the drain, for people we weren’t all that crazy about being there in the first place. Awesome.

Post # 70
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is pretty horrifying for me to read.  Agree 110% with Monkeygirl, I would never, ever do that to someone unless something dire happened.  What is wrong with some people?

Post # 71
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We had Mike’s uncle RSVP no, then call to say he was coming, so we changed him to a yes, and then didn’t show up.  THAT pissed me off. 

Post # 72
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think it is plain rude without any explanation you know…

However, I had two big disappointments with regards to two guests.  They were friends of mine who were once bm’s when I married my ex.  They were both going to come together to the wedding and share a hotel room for the weekend.  Both are married and live a few states apart, but that was their plan.

I ended up NOT hearing from either of them (turns out one of them said she had “other plans” at the last minute), and the other friend simply felt awful..

I got a facebook message from one of them, and she said she was “sorry she couldn’t respond” to the rsvp (wtf?) because she was busy w/her kids getting ready to go to college, and had alot of stuff going on.

I mean…NOT respond to an rsvp either way?  I had been told both of them were coming no matter what and I had already made them both oot bags.

How can you NOT send in an rsvp that is stamped?  Literally no effort at all. Other than walking your butt to the mailbox and back.  I have not even responded to her on FB.  It’s imho beyond rude.

Post # 73
Member
3538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Well we invited just over 170 we had 148 people rsvp yes.

Lucky for me we had a cocktail reception. So I just put the catering numbers as 140 knowing there would be some people who wouldnt come. I just had a feeling! anyway 7 people didnt show and it didnt cost us and the food we had covered everyone quite adequetly. 🙂

But.. it was still annoying, one particular friend I was looking forward to catching up to showed up to the ceremony but didnt show up to the reception? I still havent heard anything from her.

 And a couple of Hubsys friends did the same, showed to ceremony and decided to drink lots before the reception and never made it… that was 6 of them! Hubsy was really dissapointed as some of them had travelled down and he didnt end up hanging out with them at all.. i think he is still very upset by it. Poor guy!

Post # 74
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We had 8 out of 100.  The husband of my friend let us know the day before he had to work.  One person no-showed, we later found out from someone else they had to work- nice to let us know!  My friend told me she had a gift she forgot to bring, but 10 months later, I have never seen it.  The other person didn’t send a gift.

We had three couples who didn’t show and didn’t say anything until after- one couple where their twelve year old son was sick (neither of them were, they are from in town and all their family is in town, so they had babysitters- I understand one missing it but both?)  No gift either.

One couple- went to the ceremony, but then got called into work.  This is someone who didn’t RSVP and when I contacted her, she said, “Of course, definitely!”  She could have easily arranged it, and her husband could have come too.  No gift.

One couple- their daughter was fussy for their babysitter (the baby’s grandma), so both of them went to “calm down the baby.”  They live in town and they both knew lots of people there, so not sure why either had to leave, especially not both.

 

Post # 75
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

FIVE no-shows.  Hi iswimibikeirun! Reading your comment was like deja vu, only my husband’s cousin’s horrid g.f. (now ex) CAME in jeans and t-shirt.  I guess in silent protest of not wanting to be there, even though the cousin and his mother made a big stink about including her.  I had 5 no shows.  My late mother’s voice was ringing in my ears -under order food!  We didn’t.  Our photog insisted we not order him food b/c he said of the hundreds of weddings he’s shot, there has ALWAYS been at least 1 no show.  So, we had 3 plates we paid for and didn’t use, b/c we gave my photog & videographer a meal each, but of course we had ordered something different for the videographer which was wasted.  We also had a basically 1/2 empty table, which looked GREAT and sucked for the people sitting there. 

My boss didn’t come (she had a death in family, so fine, but from what I understand it was waaay before the wedding.)  My other boss and her husband (who I have NEVER MET) didn’t show.  She claimed she never got the invite even though I confirmed her address & sent one to her home and one to our school.  (I’m a teacher, but was on medical leave at the time.)  AND I verbally confirmed with her.  My co-workers said blowing off weddings is like a hobby for her, so no one invites her anymore.  Wish I’d listened.  It was b/c of them and other no-shows that I couldn’t invite my coworkers.  I didn’t want to burn bridges so I invited my bosses, on of whom has resigned! 

My cousin decided to help her daughter move back to college.  Yeah, that didn’t get decided THAT day.  She should have called. 

Lastly, my boss from the restaurant didn’t show b/c my other old co-workers wouldn’t wait for him or something, so he sulked and blew it off.  You missed a hell of a filet, chief.  Oh and a fabu party! 

All in all, we estimate these people cost us between $825-$1000+, and NOT a one sent a gift.  (My cousin’s husband came with a card which had cash.)  My old boss (the unmarried one) sent a card like 2 months later explaining why she didn’t show.  I’m not a gift grubber, but sheesh, it would have nice to recoup SOME of that loss.

Oh did I mention I didn’t really want to invite any of the no-shows but felt obligated. 

Before I was engaged, my BFF RSVPed with a guest, mind you, to a fairly close friend’s wedding and decided to blow it off the day of without calling because she couldn’t afford a gift!  I told her not to b/c the girl would have to pay for 2 empty places and would hate her.  Also, she could have given SOMETHING (even a card, or a little something meaningful -a set of champagne  flutes), or not RSVPed with a guest when she had no one in mind, or had a little foresight and put a little money away, or saved and given a gift within that year window.  I would have given at least a card with an explanation.  Who goes to a wedding w/o a card??  Do they think we just won’t notice?  (Can you all tell these are my fave rants?!)  The girl did speak to her again -I woudn’t have, but they eventually grew apart.  My BFF should have AT LEAST given her a gift within that year to show how sorry she was and to congratulate her friends.  She missed her friend’s wedding for the dumbest reason ever.  I love her, but btwn her and my sister (my BMs), it was like having Negative Nancy & Debbie Downer by my side planning.  Yay.

Post # 76
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My friend, the bride, reserved TWO SPOTS on the Bride/Groom/BM’s table for our high school girlfriend who we’re not even close with anymore and her girfriend who we’ve (and the bride) has never met.  The bride felt bad about placing this girl at any other table because she didn’t know anyone else. So the head-ish table was: Bride, Groom, 4 bridemaids and significant others and this girl and her girlfriend.

The girl and her girlfriend NO SHOWED at the wedding, the ONLY no shows. Two glaring empty seats at the bride and groom’s table. Not that I am close with the girl or anything but I will NEVER forgive her for what she did to my friend on her wedding.

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