Post # 1
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
So I’m getting married in October and couldn’t be more excited! We have had the wedding planned for a year now and the date is finally approaching! Anyway, my brother just got engaged and planned his wedding for May. I am super excited for him because I love his fiancee and think they are perfect together. When i tell people about when he is getting married they always say, “Aren’t you jealous?” or “Do you think your wedding will be better than his?” or “Do you think he is stealing your thunder?” Are you serious? I am happy he is getting married and dont understand how people can be so rude to ask me that. I’m not faking happiness since he is having a completely different type of wedding than me and he is five years older than me so I’m glad he finally found someone. What the heck should I say to these rude people? I’m starting to get mad that they would even think that I own the whole year around my wedding-it’s ridiculous! I just want these dumb questions to stop since I think they’re offensive!
Post # 3
Member
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Dear Abby used to have the best answer for those type of questions. Just turn the question back on them… ” Why would you ask such a question?”
Post # 4
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
I can never understand why people have to be so negative/sour. Just say something like, “No, why would I feel that way?” accompanied by a serious look.
Post # 5
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
I think that answering the question straight up will make them realize maybe it wasn’t a question they should have asked. If I were the person who asked “Don’t you feel like they’re stealing your thunder?” and you said “Absolutely not! I am so happy for my brother and his fiance!” I’d feel pretty silly for asking that question in the first place. I think a lot of people project things that they’d feel onto other people.
Post # 6
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
@AirForceFiance: I think that by asking that type of question really shows the character of the person who asked. I mean, if that was their first thought “aren’t you mad/upset?” that’s probably an indication that they would be upset/mad if they were in your situation.
Post # 7
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
There’s a Chinese saying which describes this situation perfectly – 以å°äººä¹‹å¿ƒï¼Œå¦’å›å之腹。
Haha, to save you from googling, it means to gauge the heart of a gentleman with one’s own mean measure.
I think you should just reply them with an honest, “no”, and hopefully they would be embarassed that their own petty nature led them to ask such a silly question.
Post # 8
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
Yeah, that’s a bit odd. Just say “of course not – I’m really excited for them!”
Post # 9
Member
11 posts
Newbee
@miss forever: This is my favourite answer.
I completely agree that you don’t need to bother justifying yourself. No is quite sufficient, your happiness for them is implied.
Post # 10
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
I would look at them and say, “Hadn’t even crossed my mind. That would be an awfully petty way of thinking about such a happy occasion, wouldn’t it?” That oughta shut them up 😉
Seriously, what’s wrong with these people? He’s getting married over half a year after you; it’s not like he picked a date a week before yours so he could be the first to the altar.
Post # 11
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
Thanks ladies! That makes me feel better!
@linguo42 — My brother was going to get engaged around St Patricks day of this year but his fiancee told me that “he didn’t want to take anything away from you being engaged”. He is so nice when it comes to that and his fiancee said the same thing. He waited to ask her until me being engaged wasn’t brand new. I didn’t ask him to do that but I think it was really considerate of him.
I will use your advice girls! Thanks so much 🙂 I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks its rude of people to say things like that!
Member