Post # 31
A lot of this depends on the situation a person is in or the area they are in. For example, I grew up in a town with a lot of old money. Those people never flaunted wealth, and the women generally wore plain bands for every day, but they did have private planes and could go to Europe for the weekend if they wished. While you might not guess it looking at them (casual clothing, practical cars, no obvious brands), they tended to carry themselves well – as deserving of respect.
And that’s what I’ve found most influences how others treat you – how you carry yourself and how you conduct yourself. Speak softly, but with authority; treat others with the respect you deserve yourself; read the situation and be able to small talk or get to business as the situation demands. When you present yourself properly, no one really has a chance to look at your jewelry because they look you in the eye.
As for sales associates, many of them are too wrapped up in their own issues to serve anyone well, are too young to know what to look for as far as who a good customer might be, or are taught the wrong things to look for. “New money” and over-extended credit is often to thank for large baubles and obvious logos; neither has anything to do with real wealth.
Post # 33
wow I can’t imagine that ever happening. I do believe that people treat people who they perceive as wealthy/having higher social status better than they treat people who they perceive as lower-class, sadly, but I can’t imagine people suddenly treating someone better because their ring is larger. maybe people will “ooh” and “aah” more over the ring, but I can’t imagine them actually treating the person better on a more consistent basis…
Post # 34
Unless you conduct some sort of survey – like going to the same places twice, wearing the same clothes, buying the same stuff from the same sales assistant , once with ring and once without – l can’t see how you could possibly know whether the treatment/service you got was remotely connected with what ring you wore.
If you are talking about friends and family treating you better … really? Did they actually say something like ‘oh your ring is so much better than cousin Mary’s, let’s not invite her to lunch after all”
Pshaw l say, pshaw. If people really believe it’s all about their ring then there’s too much obsessing and projection going on, to my mind.
Post # 35
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
I’ve never heard of anyone asking someone else when they are going to upgrade. Do people actually do that???
Post # 36
Really depends on the circle I’m around. Normal friends and community, I don’t believe anyone treats me differently. Salespeople, real estate or finance type? Yeah. They’re the first to notice and comment as soon as I have an engagement ring on.
Post # 37
If someone wants to judge me based upon how many carats I’m wearing or not wearing on any given day that tells me all I need to know about that person.
I’m not surprised an inexperienced salesperson would glom onto someone they thought had a big rock and a lot of disposable income–they don’t yet understand that often the people flying under the radar have the most to spend. Some of the wealthiest women I know wear plain wedding bands except on major occassions.
Post # 38
Likely these are the same women who see (or have been raised to see) securing an SO, particularly a wealthy one, as an accomplishment unto itself.
Post # 39
I think the vast majority of people don’t even notice/care about other people’s rings. But of those that do, I think that, if anything, there’s judgment about larger rings. My ring isn’t even that big, but if I could go back in time, I would’ve asked dh to choose something half its size.
Post # 40
Exactly. It’s how you carry yourself, your speech, your overall presence. I don’t think diamonds have a thing to do with it.
Pshaw? I thought you were British! That’s something my midwestern grandmother would have said. Of course she had all British ancestry in her father’s side, so….
Post # 41
- Wedding: August 2020 - Hampton, VA
oh I dunno. Because they’re pretty or a nice style, I assume.
I don’t have knockoff watches, shoes, or handbags but some of you all say you’d judge a person who did. My point was not about why people buy knockoffs but about how labels don’t really matter to most people – just like the jewelry someone is wearing doesn’t either.
But to address your main point, I’d bet plenty of name brand companies also outsource labor and/or materials. Surely they’re not all 100% kosher all the way around. The ones that are certainly make it known but plenty of companies use cheap labor around the globe. Not only generic brands.
Post # 42
I think realistically the way you present yourself impacts how people treat you. But I don’t think most people are looking closely enough to notice rings, unless the stone is 3+ carats or the person is a manicurist.
Post # 43
I received a diamond ring from my husband a a wedding present as a my engagement ring I had was a sapphire heirloom The only person who commented on it was my nail tech. It’ a little over 2cts with pave setting.
Post # 44
I think people are more likely to treat you a certain way due to your behaviour and not a ring on your finger.
Post # 45
I have very sizable diamond, 4.6ct center stone and do still get ignored in stores. I don’t look like I can afford it and I’m sure people think it’s fake or something. I don’t judge people by the jewelry they wear, I judge them by their attitude and how much plastic surgery they have had. Both are in abundance for my area lol