(Closed) People trying to invite themselves?

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
1023 posts
Bumble bee

“Thank you for your kind wishes! It’s going to be a very small wedding.”

Smile and change the subject. Then don’t discuss your wedding with them in the future.

Mind you if you are planning to invite 300 people, but not that one person, you will need to come up with something else.

Post # 3
1757 posts
Buzzing bee

Young people don’t understand how expensive weddings get so don’t be too mad at them.

Random people like your cashier are just being friendly, don’t take them seriously, they know they’re not invited (tho they’d be excited to go)

Everyone else tho- it’s just really sad because they obviously value and care about you. You are important to them so naturally they think they are important to you. Not getting an invite is a harsh reality check. Avoid discussing wedding plans with them.

Post # 5
8281 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
KiraSchmira :  Eeek that’s really awkward. I haven’t had that yet but an aquaintance said oh I could sing at your wedding and I was like….. ummmm HA HA HA awkward laugh….. cringe lol. 

Post # 6
725 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I have this happen all the time, but I say “it’s going to be so tiny, just family basically.” It’s only 75 people, so I’m not lying… 

Post # 7
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Ugh! This happend to us… People I had not spent time with for a decade telling me they can’t wait for our wedding! 

I smiled and changed the subject. It’s nicer than telling them no to their face. 

FWIW:  I gave in to one person, invited her and she didn’t RSVP or come… She just sent a card after… It is what it is. 

Post # 8
890 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
KiraSchmira :  same here. Don’t worry.. they’re just being nice. Unless they barge into your wedding. I don’t think they’d appear without invitation right? I normally laughed it off and say we haven’t really decided what to do. Just sort of say my fiancé doesn’t prefer huge wedding so we don’t know what’s happening yet.. then hehehehe at them 😋

Post # 9
68 posts
Worker bee

Had this issue. Just replied “it’s a small wedding” and move on to a different topic. I don’t think anyone got offended or hurt. The usual response was ‘ok- cool!’

Post # 10
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Also had around 100 guests and most were family…got this a lot, I either would smile, fake laugh and move on, or mention that we were having a small wedding with mostly family. We did give in on a few and guess what, some of them didn’t even come! One lady I had met once or twice made a huge ordeal about wanting to come (she was a friend of a family member), I felt bad so I invited her and she didn’t show up. Every person who I invited mattered and that could have been someone else I could have invited. Don’t give in! The bit about the friend was super awkward but that was weird on her part.

Post # 11
603 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
KiraSchmira :  I literally had an acquaintance start a text conversation with me to fish for an invite to my wedding.  She texted some thing along the lines of “I’m so happy for you!” and when I replied thank you, she texted “I can’t wait to see you on your wedding day!!” or something along those lines.  I just ignored it and was not planning on sending her an invite.  I figured she would get the hint.  We have some mutual friends who have run interference and made very clear to her that she should not be anticipating any kind of an invite.

I have had a few coworkers who are not going to be on the list drop subtle hints, but nothing that makes me uncomfortable. And I just haven’t addressed it.

I guess I would say that my strategy is ignore it and hope it goes away, and if all else fails they will figure it out when they don’t get an invite.

Post # 12
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2020 - New York, New York

You can tell people, “Well, we haven’t created the guest list yet, but it’s going to be a small wedding”. For people who aren’t family you can add “mostly family”. Hopefully once you say this, they’ll catch on! 

If people are offended, you could always say you really value them, but you’re on a tight budget and can’t invite everyone under the sun.

Post # 13
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

We have started telling people it will be a very intimate wedding with immidte family only, or possibly elopeing and ending the conversation with “we just got engagted and aren’t sure which of those two we want, we just want to enjoy the engagement!” 

Post # 14
543 posts
Busy bee

I brush it off with “Our wedding will be pretty small so I wont be able to invite a lot of friends unfortunately”

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