(Closed) People upset because I haven’t picked bridesmaids yet…

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 18
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I totally hear you on this one. I  have not picked mine either.. I casnt seem to decide. I dont want to hurt anyones feelings. And to be honest I dont want 2 people in it that assume they should be in it. I feel like I am being bullied.. SO i have not made any decisions. Make your choices when you are ready!! hell I might not have a bridal party.. I dont need any more drama!! good luck!

Post # 20
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I don’t think it’s wrong of you to wait. People are interesting sometimes… they ask the day of your engagement, oh who are your BMs?! And I’m like… uh can I enjoy my engagement first?! Baha 🙂 Your wedding is in 2012, I think you have time to see if people will work out, etc. Tell them to calm down and that you’re not there yet with your planning. You love your friends no matter what, but that doesn’t mean you have to automatically make them BMs.

Post # 21
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Don’t be pressured into picking your bridesmaids yet.  Besides, anyone who pressures you to let them be a bridesmaid probably shouldn’t be one.  You have PLENTY of time to pick your ladies.  Let them know that you are just enjoying being engaged right now, and you will let everyone know when you decide to pick the bridal party.

Post # 22
Member
2828 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I picked a few way early (our engagement will be about 4years) and since then things have totally changed, people have drifted & friendships faded, I wish I hadn’t bothered because now I have to start from scratch.

 

I think it is completely reasonable for you to wait until you are closer to the date — the earliest I would bother would be 12 to 9 months out since your wedding is nearly 2 years away at this point.

Post # 23
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@exoticmariee: I am in the same boat. And I have given all the hints and they still dont get it. They are bridesmaid bullies!! Seriously , they are taking the fun out of it. I am a strong girl. I dont take crap from anyone. But these 2 get the best of me. I am ok with telling one of them outright, I think she will be mad but she will get over it. But one will probably end whatever is left of our friendship over this!!!

Post # 24
Member
2467 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

do you have a budget or guest list size/venue yet? if you don’t, you can use those as a reason to say you don’t want to pick yet. lots of people who have smaller weddings have smaller wedding parties, and budget wise, if you have bouquets for the girls, that cost adds up if you have a large party.

i think it’s totally reasonable to wait awhile before choosing! my engagement was only about 10 months so i chose right away, but even in that short time, i felt my relationships with my bms change

Post # 26
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

NO WAY! people will aways be upset about something all the claws come out and the simplest things people start bugging the bride about at least in my situation.

i waited up until 7-8 months i think endless your going away for a wedding and there is more a cost to being a bridesmaid for you then who care when you tell them. If they have to pay for a dest weddign tell them now, if your not dumping a big cost on the ones your thinking about them wait things change if your wedding is still so far away.

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