Post # 17
I’m going to use the comments here for my conversation with ‘friend’. I feel pressured to make a decision, but it is causing me to dig my heels in and be stubborn. I really like to idea of one or two attendants that are family, that way I wont choose anyone prematurely. Down side is that I have already asked one person. I dont want my wedding to be social club.
I hear you all loud and clear about not picking too early, you have confirmed my exact thoughts.
Post # 18
I totally hear you on this one. I have not picked mine either.. I casnt seem to decide. I dont want to hurt anyones feelings. And to be honest I dont want 2 people in it that assume they should be in it. I feel like I am being bullied.. SO i have not made any decisions. Make your choices when you are ready!! hell I might not have a bridal party.. I dont need any more drama!! good luck!
Post # 19
You too? I have two people that assumed that they would be in it also. Like, it was a given. Then when I didnt move the chess piece, they asked in a way that it was still assumed. Argghh!
Post # 20
I don’t think it’s wrong of you to wait. People are interesting sometimes… they ask the day of your engagement, oh who are your BMs?! And I’m like… uh can I enjoy my engagement first?! Baha 🙂 Your wedding is in 2012, I think you have time to see if people will work out, etc. Tell them to calm down and that you’re not there yet with your planning. You love your friends no matter what, but that doesn’t mean you have to automatically make them BMs.
Post # 21
Don’t be pressured into picking your bridesmaids yet. Besides, anyone who pressures you to let them be a bridesmaid probably shouldn’t be one. You have PLENTY of time to pick your ladies. Let them know that you are just enjoying being engaged right now, and you will let everyone know when you decide to pick the bridal party.
Post # 22
I picked a few way early (our engagement will be about 4years) and since then things have totally changed, people have drifted & friendships faded, I wish I hadn’t bothered because now I have to start from scratch.
I think it is completely reasonable for you to wait until you are closer to the date — the earliest I would bother would be 12 to 9 months out since your wedding is nearly 2 years away at this point.
Post # 23
I am in the same boat. And I have given all the hints and they still dont get it. They are bridesmaid bullies!! Seriously , they are taking the fun out of it. I am a strong girl. I dont take crap from anyone. But these 2 get the best of me. I am ok with telling one of them outright, I think she will be mad but she will get over it. But one will probably end whatever is left of our friendship over this!!!
Post # 24
do you have a budget or guest list size/venue yet? if you don’t, you can use those as a reason to say you don’t want to pick yet. lots of people who have smaller weddings have smaller wedding parties, and budget wise, if you have bouquets for the girls, that cost adds up if you have a large party.
i think it’s totally reasonable to wait awhile before choosing! my engagement was only about 10 months so i chose right away, but even in that short time, i felt my relationships with my bms change
Post # 25
So far, only family has been selected as attendents on both sides. Things calmed down a bit once my friends got word about that. There is one person I invited (in the excitement of the e-announcement) to be an attendant that got the hint that I was choosing family only, and unfortunately is quite upset with me. That is the next hurdle to get past.
Post # 26
NO WAY! people will aways be upset about something all the claws come out and the simplest things people start bugging the bride about at least in my situation.
i waited up until 7-8 months i think endless your going away for a wedding and there is more a cost to being a bridesmaid for you then who care when you tell them. If they have to pay for a dest weddign tell them now, if your not dumping a big cost on the ones your thinking about them wait things change if your wedding is still so far away.