Post # 1
Death in the family & now people want to change their RSVP’s to yes??? How does this work?
Okay this is going to sound like a weird post, but my Aunt passed away this week (my mother’s brother’s wife) who had some bad history with other aunts (that I’m not close with) in the family… well long story short, she lived local to where we were holding the wedding, so the other aunts in the family were not going to come. I was somewhat close to the Aunt that passed away and would have preferred her here anyhow, so I just got over the stupidness of it… Now that she passed away (three weeks before the big day) these aunts told my mother they are now going to be attending the wedding & already bought their plane tickets. I ALREADY GOT THE DECLINE RSVP WEEKS AGO. WTF? They’ve been saying for months they weren’t coming and I planned for that- I was really upset at first because I thought it was stupid and childish they were going to let something that happened years ago from keeping them from traveling here… And now that my other aunt is dead, now they want to? How am I supposed to react to this? How do I deal with this? Do I just say nothing at all?
Post # 3
yes, just let them be petty and avoid being so yourself for their bad etiquette. dont let it ruin your day.
sorry for your loss. 🙁
Post # 4
oh wow that’s unbelievable. I’m so sorry. I think you just have to let them come. Just be sweet as pie — that’s the best revenge. Knowing you’re the bigger person.
Post # 5
I guess I agree. Unless of course you really don’t have room, or have already given final numbers to the caterer. But if you have three weeks left, I suppose that can’t be the case. (But if it somehow is, I certainly wouldn’t jump through any hoops to make room for them – just let them know you wish they had let you know earlier, because its not possible to accomodate their change of heart at this late date.)
It is incredibly petty and annoying of them – and I would be upset if I was you. Remember that you really don’t have to spend lots of time with any particular guest – you probably will hardly see them. Maybe you can sit them all at the same table, on the theory that this will save all the other guests from the pleasure of their company.
Post # 6
If you really want them there, then let them come, if you don’t care or only invited them because you felt like you had to, I would simply tell them that as per your RSVP request, the date to RSVP was xx/xx/xx and you can no longer accomodate. If they are so petty that they cannot / will not share YOUR day because they will have to eat a meal in the same room as someone they don’t like, well I wouldn’t want them there anyways. But you could look at this as an opportunity to mend family ties and let them come.