Post # 17
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@echristine: Send them a thank you card ASAP thanking them for the gift and leave it at that. Some people are just generous and want to give gifts and don’t necessarily expect an invitation. If they call to ask about an invitation then it’s time to throw out the standard line about how you would like to include everybody you know but you decided on a more intimate wedding with your closest friends and family.
Post # 18
Yep, just send a thank you card and leave it at that. DO NOT invite more people!
Post # 19
I do this all the time 🙂
I send small wedding gifts to people all the time, with zero expectation of attending the wedding. It’s usually to more distant university friends, people I coached in dance, family friends or high school friends. Mostly they’re token gifts of $20-25, sometimes more if there’s a particular gift that’s really symbolic.
It sounds like the one couple has a track record of inviting themselves, though.
Post # 20
send a thank you note. there’s no obligation to invite them. I often buy gifts for friends whom I’m not as close with anymore off their registry with no expectation of being invited to their wedding.
Post # 21
Because OP said this couple also invited themselves to her brother’s wedding…
Also I guess it’s different in Australia because it’s incredibly rare to be sent gifts unless you have been invited and would be seen as someone trying to invite themselves.
Post # 22
Just send a thank-you. I’ve sent presents to a few couples I wasn’t invited to (old friends from college) and received gifts from co-workers when we got married.
Post # 23
Ok! I thought you just meant it was pushy to find out about someone’s registery but inputting their name. I agree, trying to get an invitation with a gift is weird. Some people just give gifts – no strings!
Post # 24
It’s not entirely uncommon in my circle to recieve gifts from people who arent’ invited (especially my parents friends). Just send a thank you note and be gracrious.
Post # 25
Yeah, I’ve done that when people I like & care about get married. I know they didn’t invite me because I live far/they have a small budget. I’ve also done that for baby showers when I’m not necessarily close enough to be invited to the shower, but I know they are having a baby… I’ll go to Target or Babies R Us and see if they have a registry & have something sent to them. Of course, for a wedding I’ve waited until after the wedding to send because I don’t want them to think I expect to be invited.
Post # 26
We had a few people who were not invited send gifts…. I just sent a nice note after the wedding.
Post # 27
@echristine: Don’t give it a moment’s worry. Invite who you’d like to invite. You’re not even supposed to know who/what has been purchased from your registry. 🙂
Send a heart-felt, hand-written thank you IF they send you the gift. When their invitation doesn’t show up, they may just return it. 🙂
Post # 28
@echristine: Just send a really nice thank you note. I havent been invited to weddings before but bought gifts just because its what I do. I always understood it was numbers and finanical for many of the weddings since we are young and a thank you note was more than enough.
Post # 29
It’s not different in Australia. At least, for a Greek American (like myself) this is definitely not something you do.
Post # 30
Thank you to eveyone who took the time to respond! I guess we have a lot of circumstances that made me frustrated with this “problem.” One major factor is that our wedding is already 350+ guests (which is small for a Greek wedding, mind you) and it is really hard to choose who to invite and who not to invite. It’s just our culture…
For those of you who suggested sending a ‘Thank You’ card, I definitely did that. I feel obilgated to invite the couple because they spent $$$ on us, but for the “friend” I just thanked her.
Post # 31
Huh? What it definitely not something you do?