(Closed) People who aren't invited are buying off our registries… What do I do??

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 17
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@echristine:  Send them a thank you card ASAP thanking them for the gift and leave it at that.  Some people are just generous and want to give gifts and don’t necessarily expect an invitation.  If they call to ask about an invitation then it’s time to throw out the standard line about how you would like to include everybody you know but you decided on a more intimate wedding with your closest friends and family.

Post # 18
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yep, just send a thank you card and leave it at that. DO NOT invite more people!

Post # 19
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@Soon2BStockhausen:  I do this all the time 🙂

I send small wedding gifts to people all the time, with zero expectation of attending the wedding.  It’s usually to more distant university friends, people I coached in dance, family friends or high school friends.  Mostly they’re token gifts of $20-25, sometimes more if there’s a particular gift that’s really symbolic.

It sounds like the one couple has a track record of inviting themselves, though.

Post # 20
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

send a thank you note. there’s no obligation to invite them. I often buy gifts for friends whom I’m not as close with anymore off their registry with no expectation of being invited to their wedding.

Post # 21
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

View original reply
@AB Bride:  Because OP said this couple also invited themselves to her brother’s wedding…

 

Also I guess it’s different in Australia because it’s incredibly rare to be sent gifts unless you have been invited and would be seen as someone trying to invite themselves. 

Post # 22
Member
2432 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Just send a thank-you. I’ve sent presents to a few couples I wasn’t invited to (old friends from college) and received gifts from co-workers when we got married. 

Post # 23
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

View original reply
@ms-valentine:  Ok!  I thought you just meant it was pushy to find out about someone’s registery but inputting their name.  I agree, trying to get an invitation with a gift is weird.  Some people just give gifts – no strings!

Post # 24
Member
5870 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

It’s not entirely uncommon in my circle to recieve gifts from people who arent’ invited (especially my parents friends).  Just send a thank you note and be gracrious.

Post # 25
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Yeah, I’ve done that when people I like & care about get married. I know they didn’t invite me because I live far/they have a small budget. I’ve also done that for baby showers when I’m not necessarily close enough to be invited to the shower, but I know they are having a baby… I’ll go to Target or Babies R Us and see if they have a registry & have something sent to them. Of course, for a wedding I’ve waited until after the wedding to send because I don’t want them to think I expect to be invited. 

Post # 26
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

We had a few people who were not invited send gifts…. I just sent a nice note after the wedding.

Post # 27
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@echristine:  Don’t give it a moment’s worry. Invite who you’d like to invite. You’re not even supposed to know who/what has been purchased from your registry. 🙂

Send a heart-felt, hand-written thank you IF they send you the gift.  When their invitation doesn’t show up, they may just return it. 🙂

Post # 28
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@echristine:  Just send a really nice thank you note. I havent been invited to weddings before but bought gifts just because its what I do. I always understood it was numbers and finanical for many of the weddings since we are young and a thank you note was more than enough.

Post # 31
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

View original reply
@echristine:  Huh? What it definitely not something you do?

 

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