Post # 1
Has anyone else had several people assume they were invited to your bachelorette party and ask you for details? I’ve had this happen a few times now, and I added one to the list (I don’t know any details, but I’ve provided my bridesmaids a list of people I’d like there) because I felt bad about it. Now I have someone else who has asked, and while I like her, I wasn’t planning on inviting her (for various reasons, one of which is if I invite her, I have to invite several others, which turns it into a big party, and I really want it to be smaller and just my closest friends).
I know the response that people *should* understand is telling them that it’ll be small, but she has now asked both my bridesmaid (she is invited to the shower) and myself, and I don’t know if people are asking because they assume it’s a big party, or if they think our relationship is that significant. Either way, do bees have other tactful suggestions on what to say? Or reasons as to why I might want a small bach party?
Thanks so much for everyone’s help! I hate not inviting people to things, but I also really just want my closest friends there!
Post # 3
I’m having a similar problem but on a different degree of rudeness. I went out with some friends a few weeks back half of the people I knew and the rest were friends of the friends. One of my Bridesmaid or Best Man is friends with a girl who asked me when the party was and when I was getting married which seemed like normal conversation to me up until she said “I’ll see if I can get that day off”. Wtf?!? I don’t know this girl at all. Apparently my BM invited her without my permission. I asked for them to invite 2 other girls other than just all the BMs to the party. This isn’t the first time she did this either she asked in front of another friend of hers if she could go. You could see the girl was horrified my friend would even ask that. Sorry to rant so much but I agree with you. No one should assume they get to go without being asked.
You could tell them you want a smaller bach party and possibly you could get together with the other girls you are friends with that you didn’t invite and have a night out with them?
Post # 4
@Kari 2012: Wow, that’s ballsy!!! Yeah, I never assume! Hm…that’s an interesting idea. The only thing is…most of our guests are from out of town, and the people who have been asking are also from out of town. So while I very much appreciate and am grateful for friends who care and want to make the effort, spend the money, etc…it’s hard to organize any additional parties because of the distance. I don’t know, do people usually have two bach parties?
Post # 5
@DocT: So just to be clear…she is invited to your shower but you don’t want her at your bachelorette party?
Post # 6
I would definitely say that you really just want a small party of your closest friends. She can’t get mad at you for being honest and obviously she knows she’s not exactly a “close friend” of yours. I am having a similar dilemma (don’t want to go into details)… but I’m thinking of doing the same thing. Bridal party, my mommy, and maybe one or two other close friends. THAT’S IT. But even that totals to 6-8 girls, plus me!
Post # 7
@kelmac: Yes, that’s correct.
And to clarify, it’s my cousin, which means I’d have to invite other cousins if she came. I am trying to be somewhat vague since I don’t know if she’s lurking on any boards haha 🙂