(Closed) People who don't like you: how do you not take it personally?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@HelleCat:  Love it!

Yup its tough for me too sometimes, I have social anxiety. My therapist says the saaaame thing. You cannot worry what other people think of you because its not your business and who knows what kind of life and perspective they are bringing with them to view you with anyway. Just concentrate on the people who DO like you and be happy about them 🙂

Post # 33
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee

As long as they’re cordial, I don’t care, because that sort of thing happens.

If they start rumors or are asses, then it’s a problem.

Post # 34
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

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@NurseMandie:  

I’m a believer that if someone doesn’t like a person without knowing them than they are jealous of that person for whatever reason.

 

I believe this too.

Post # 35
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I struggle with this same issue but mostly when it comes to co-workers because I see them every day. It’s difficult because I hear what they say VIA gossip. I don’t necessarily care for them either but I’m still nice and behave professionally. I just wish they would do the same. I don’t need more friends so I try to remind my self that I’m fabulous and it’s their loss.

Post # 36
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I look at it this way, I’m not always going to like everybody so why should I expect something different from everyone else?  It’s not necessairly personal, just a fact of life: not everyone is going to like everyone else.  Different personalities, intrests, values ect…

Post # 37
Member
2721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@BelliniChic: 
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@NurseMandie:  I disagree. There are people I genuinely do not like and it has nothing to do with being jealous. Many of the people I don’t like have bad personalities and are generally negative individuals. I think we’ve been taught this sentiment since childhood but it’s not always the source of the dislike. As for dislike at first sight, sometimes people make poor first impressions. For me, I give it a couple of months to decide if I dislike someone. Also, if my gut says something is off with the person I go with it.

I use to struggle with focusing on the people that did not like me. I finally made the decision to not let it affect me. I get everyone will not like me-just like I don’t like everyone. We’re all entitled to that. I have started focusing on my positive relationships to try to make them better. I also remove myself from situations where I don’t feel good about myself. If there’s too much negative energy or it’s not bringing something to my life-I’m out. I think when we’re hurt that others don’t like us, it  brings up the insecurities we have about ourselves. 

Post # 38
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I try to keep it in perspective. After all, there are people I don’t like (for good reason or not) and I don’t really over analyze it, so why waste my time figuring out why someone doesn’t like me? I used to care a LOT, but as I get older I care less. I think a lot of that is having a family and realizing that the only people I really need to care about loving me are my husband and children.

Post # 39
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Personally, I don’t let it bother me if someone doesn’t like me. I am a strong and willful woman, I’m going to offend someone at some point.

 

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@MrsElopement:  

I disagree. There are people I genuinely do not like and it has nothing to do with being jealous.

This. There isn’t a person around that I don’t like just because I’m jealous. If I don’t like you, you can believe there is good reason for it. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt initially, so really, there is no jealousy involved.

Reasons I might not like someone:

The way the treat their children, SO or pets; shit, just the way they treat people in general.

Their work ethic. I mention this specifically because this is the place where I find I don’t like most people. 

Character plays a huge part in how I feel about someone. If I think you have poor character, I don’t want to be around you.

I don’t like people that are mooches and users.

There are more I could add, but those are the top few.

 

Post # 40
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Life is too short to worry about that kind of stuff. 

Post # 41
Member
7367 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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@MrsElopement: &
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@Paigey:   thank you for saying that. Im not a jealous person, so the reasons i may not like someone vary. Sometimes there are legtimate reasons for not gelling with a person. 

I certainly don’t care for every single person I meet. There are times where I have instinctally get weird vibe from meeting someone.  Most times it proves correct, but a few instances where I’ve been wrong. Thru time that person became an ally. So i have no expectation of everyone liking me either. You don’t have to like me, but respect is non negotitable.

Post # 42
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree that just because someone doesn’t like you doesn’t mean they’re jealous of you.  In fact, I generally dislike people who automatically think others are jealous  if they don’t immediately take to them. 😉

I try not to let other people’s dislike of me bother me, but it does get hard sometimes.  Mostly, it bothers me if someone dislikes me without knowing me.  I don’t assume they’re jealous, I assume there’s something about my general personality that bugs them.  I typically want to find out what it is so I can work on it beause I don’t want to turn people off without getting to know me first!

Of course, there are people out there who I immediately don’t like, even though I don’t really know them.  Sometimes a person’s general vibe will just turn me off for whatever reason, so I try not to let it bother me when I have the same affect on others.   Like most things, it’s a work in progress. 

Post # 43
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

I have never encountered this problem.  Everyone likes me.

Post # 44
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

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@MrsElopement:  

I get what you’re saying.

But NurseMandie did not say that “If someone doesn’t like a person, then they are jealous.”

What she said (that I agreed with) was:

 

if someone doesn’t like a person without knowing them than they are jealous of that person for whatever reason.

“Without knowing them…” big difference.

What you’re describing is a situation where you’ve been around certain people enough to observe negative behaviors. So you have a basis for not liking them, and of course that doesn’t make you jealous. You’re just a good observer of bad behavior and you’ve arrived at your own conclusions.

I’ve observed a couple of women around me at work who just flat out do not like a couple of other women who have done absolutely nothing wrong to them, and in fact have gone out of their ways to be nice and helpful. They really don’t know each other that well because they’ve never given the other women a chance — all they do is snap at them and be negative.

I really think they’re jealous and resentful of the other women because they are happy, in a good mood, in good relationships, attractive, etc., whereas they themselves tend to be negative and not happy with themselves by comparison.

 

Post # 45
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

People don’t like me because I can be extremely irritating to the people I’m closest to (my parents bet on how long my SO would live with me before he cracked- they said 5 months, it’s been over 3 years!) and my BFF calls me up on it constantly.

But I’m crazy- Type A control freak, have huge bouts of anxiety, and dislike most people I come across anyway. Also, my parents are amazing people and I think they’ve set my standards of others way too high so I’m constantly disappointed.

It has taken me realising what I am truly like, and accepting myself for it, that I’ve begun not to care about what people think. Sure, most people find me a bit annoying, but there are other people who love me to death and they are the opinions that count in my mind 🙂

Post # 46
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If they don’t like me I don’t care I probably don’t like them either.  You can’t please everyone and women tend to be catty.

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