Post # 1
Argh, so I need to vent.
I’m helping a family member of my husband coordinate her wedding. She’s really disorganized and I offered to pretty much do all the back-end work like create her timeline, go over logistics, confirm her vendors and act as a coordinator on the day-of. I don’t mind because I love doing this stuff and we’re becoming friends. BUT, because I work a full-time job, I really need to use e-mail a lot because I can’t make a lot of personal calls during the day due to company policy. And also (I hate saying it) but this girl is the kind of person where a simple two-minute phone conversation will always turn into a needless half-hour discussion, and sometimes, I just don’t have the time.
So, my problem? Whenever I send her an e-mail with some new info or whatever, she refuses to reply back. She calls. During the day. While I’m at work. And asks that I call her back because she doesn’t like typing e-mails. Argh! I’m not sure why this really annoys me, but it does. Especially because there’s nothing to discuss. She does this for everything, not just wedding stuff. Like, if I send her a simple e-mail that confirms dinner reservations or something, she’ll call me to have a half-hour discussion about it, even though I’m seeing her that night. This girl is on her mid-20s, so it’s not like she’s older and set in her ways or anything.
Is it just me, or if you send an e-mail to someone, it’s an understood rule that you reply to the e-mail unless there’s a serious problem that needs a lenghtly discussion and it’s too long to type out. I’m definitely someone that relies on e-mail a LOT. I’m just one of those people that thinks some things don’t require a phone call, especially if I’m really busy and it’s easier and quicker to send out an e-mail. Plus, especially when it comes to wedding plans, I find it easier to have some things in writing to reference later on. I just feel like this day in age, it’s a simple request! I always call her when I have something important to talk about, but in the last time we talked, she more or less asked me to stop using e-mail to talk about the wedding. Like, what do you say to that?
Post # 3
” Help Me Help You” If she wants your help she will need to do her part. You are doing this on the side and have a reg 9-5. If she doesn’t respond via email in a timely manner tell her that you can’t help her.
Post # 4
I so agree with you on this one! When I’m on campus all day, I don’t get reception and so I can’t take any calls. I often don’t get home until 9 pm or later, so the voicemails in response to an email are so annoying!
Can you just express to her that it’s difficult with your job to use the phone to plan, and let her know that this is the way you can communicate best? The way I see it is you’re doing her a favor, so she should really be able to “type out an email” (so hard, right?) in response.
Post # 5
I’m not sure if it is always required that one replies to email by email, but in your case you have an excellent excuse as to why she cannot call you during work hours (and you might want to start screening her during the evening). You are doing her a huge favor by helping her plan the wedding, and I am surprised she is not more grateful and trying to make it easier for you.
Post # 6
Oh thank god, I’m not going nuts! Glad to hear that other bees understand!
Post # 7
I hate it when people don’t use email. If they are old – like, OK fine. I get it. It’s still annoying, but I get it. Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t do email and it’s frustrating – more so for Fiance than for me, but I would like to be able to email her pictures of things and it’s just not a possibility. Anyway, I think you need to just tell her look sorry you don’t like typing emails but I simply CANNOT receive personal calls during the work day. You could even pretend you got reprimanded at work for it if you really want to hammer the point home.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t answer her calls if I were you at work. Answering just reinforces the idea that you really can make personal calls, even though you’ve told her otherwise. Remind her you can email during the day, but not call, and then put her through to voicemail. She can talk to your mailbox all she wants.
Post # 9
you definitely have the right to communicate however you want here.. If she is unable to plan, and you are doing things that a wedding coordinator should get paid for and she won’t play along w/ email, then TS to her.
Post # 10
I hear ya! I’m more of an email/text/bbm person. I’m busy, I’m usually doing a lot of juggling so I can’t sustain a continuous conversation with someone. I don’t mean to be rude so I try to keep the lines of communication open by doing it mostly via writing! The only one that won’t let me get away with it is my Mother. I’ll text her, and she will say something smart so I know that I have to call her (meanwhile she’s texting up a storm with my Aunt and her friends). Anyhoo, that would annoy me too. I’d totally just have to say (and I’ve done so before), “I’m so sorry, I’m not able to talk on the phone at work so I have to resort to email!”.
Post # 11
@daydreamwanderer: I never answer her calls during work, and then I’ll send her an e-mail that says, “I’m at work, please use e-mail.” She won’t reply, and then calls me when she knows I’m home. It’s so weird.
I think I’m just going to start screening her calls when I’m home and keep sending e-mails. I’ll just say in my next one, “I’m really sorry, but for some thing,s e-mail just works best.”