(Closed) People who gave gifts but aren’t invited

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8943 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wouldn’t extend yourself to invite people that you don’t have the money for.  How did they find out about the wedding?  Chatter from the rest of the family?

Post # 4
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Just a simple thank you note will suffice.  You’re not under any obligation to invite them just because they sent you a gift.

Post # 5
1407 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You don’t have to add them in, but I would sent a heartfelt thank you note right away. If you worry that they will think they will be invited, and you won’t see them in person before you send invitations, you could include a line that says, “Your gift is especially appreciated considering we will be having a quite small wedding and unfortunately won’t be able to celebrate with everyone. It will be a wonderful reminder of your love and blessing on our marriage every time we use/see it!”

Post # 6
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Marie Gabrielle

I wouldn’t say anything about the wedding, just a great thank you note. Mentioning the wedding might put a sour taste in their mouth. I know I wouldn’t appreciate it!

Post # 7
38 posts
  • Wedding: March 2011

@daniellemybelle: I think that sounds perfect. They will know they are not invited, but also how much you appreciate their gift.

Post # 9
3674 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

We had a good family friend give us a gift even though she wasn’t invited. And it was a really nice one! My mom had already told her it’s a small wedding, so she wasn’t going to be invited (in a more polite way). She just wanted to share her congrats with us, it was really nice of her.

I just gave a thank you and sent an announement.

Post # 10
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Previous posters are right that you are no obligation to send out invites because they sent you a gift, esp if you cannot accomodate. However, I would personally try my best to extend an invite.

I mean, we may get upset if our guests don’t give us as much as a card especially considering how much a head costs at a wedding. So, I would think it swings both ways.

This is a tough one :-

Post # 11
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Just send a nice thank you and leave it at that.

The topic ‘People who gave gifts but aren’t invited’ is closed to new replies.

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