(Closed) People who RSVPed but don’t show up?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I had my friend and her husband come to the ceremony but not the reception. It turned out ok because a friend of DH’s who was only coming to the ceremony ended up asking if he could stay for the reception, so we only lost out on one plate. I have heard of people just not showing up with no communication – that would be an awful feeling, I hope you don’t have that problem!!!

Post # 4
Member
803 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

at my sisters wedding, there was a couple who didnt show that sent an rsvp – with no excuse for their absence.  its was kinda a distant family friend, but still.

Post # 5
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

unfortunately, it’s very common. Sometimes it’s one couple, I’ve been to weddings where it was 8-12 guests! SO annoying and costly to you! 

Post # 6
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Unfortunately you should plan on this happening.  If someone doesn’t show up though, it isn’t a big deal as far as how things will look.  If it really bothers you though, just have the wait staff, your coordinator, Bridesmaid or Best Man, Groomsmen or someone else pick up the place-setting when they notice it.

Post # 7
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My sister had 10 people not show up so they ended up paying $200 a head for nothing.  I think its really rude to do that, fortunately my venue said they will refund for any no shows.  But I always wondered how we would know how many people doesnt show

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

It happened at all 3 of my older siblings weddings. Luckily it was only 1 or 2 couples for each wedding, but still a head-scratcher. I understand emergencies, but if you just didn’t feel like going out that day it’s unacceptable.

Post # 9
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

We had two people not show up.  One had a fever and the others car had problems on the drive up.

Post # 10
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

We had 4 people that couldn’t make it out of 110ish guests that RSVPed yes. 2 of them told us a few days before because the lady’s brother had passed away in another state. Our numbers were not due until after we found this out so it worked out just fine. The other 2 told us by text message the morning of the wedding because their infant son was sick and they would be traveling about 4 hours and staying the night in order to make it to the wedding. I had given the venue a count 2 less than what we thought so we ended up exactly at our estimate.

Post # 11
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

This happened to us with 2 couples.  One of them went on vacation, so it wasn’t like they didn’t know that they couldn’t make it!

It ended up being ok, considering all of our wedding crashers!  It was nearly a perfect substitution except for the weird seating arrangements.  (Crazy party friends co-located with cousins)!

Post # 12
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yeah, I think this happens to everyone.

We had about 6 RSVPS that didn’t show up.

Post # 13
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I know this will happen at my reception.  I would be amazed if everyone that RSVPs shows up. There’s always somebody with some excuse…

Post # 14
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Knowing my family, there will probably be someone who RSVP’ed but doesn’t show up.  Knowing my FI’s family, there will probably be someone who didn’t RSVP (or RSVP’ed no) but shows up.

There’s really not a whole lot you can do about no-shows and crashers, but the two groups usually even themselves out.

Post # 15
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am pretty much planning on this happening. Fiance has extended family members that live out of town and while they RSVP’d yes, I feel like putting a stamped postcard in the mail is a lot simpler than reserving and paying for a flight and a hotel and getting the time off work if necessary. 

My mom said she plans to call the hotel after our block deadline and see who has reserved rooms. She said she’s sure they will tell her the names if she tells them its for personalized out of town folders! Anyway, assuming they do, we can then get an idea of who of our out of town guests have not actually made arrangements to come, and then follow up with them.

Post # 16
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We had 68 people give an RSVP of ‘yes’.  On the day of the wedding, we had 3 no-shows.  One person got food poisoning, so that was legitimate.  The other two were actually the “plus ones”:  one guy who had to fly there just showed up without his fiancee, no reason given.  The other guy who had to drive there also just showed up without his girlfriend.

Do people just not realize what an RSVP is?  Especially for weddings with sit-down dinners and open bars– we have to pay for each person (that RSVPs) and every hour that they are expected to be there.  It’s too bad that wedding etiquette probably dictates that we aren’t allowed to remind people that an RSVP is indeed a financial commitment.

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