(Closed) Perfect Church at Bad Time, or Ugly Church at Perfect Time? Am I a Bridezilla?

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Which ismore important for a Friday ceremony?
    Time (what is most convenient for all of the guests) : (24 votes)
    69 %
    How beautiful and "perfect" the church is : (11 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    @MissTaken:  I am getting married at 1:00 pm on a Friday in December.  Same thing the PERFECT venue but all booked from date of engagment until a year later.  I didn’t want to wait that long.  So we agreed that who was the wedding really about, us or them.  Quite frankly if Fiance and I and the pastor were the only three people would I really care?  No this is about us and our marriage, thats it.  So far I had one rude jerk who said – “Really, whats the deal don’t you want any body to come to your wedding.  Why should we have to take time off work just because you are getting married. ”  My Fiance told him the people that matter will be there.  I totally agree.  No one else has said a thing about taking tme off work.  Come on honestly who doesn’t like to start the weekend early and with a great party to boot!!!!

    Post # 4
    Member
    635 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I have the dreaded Catholic gap for my wedding. We’re getting married at 2:30, then starting the cocktail hour at 6. We’ll have a hospitality suite at the hotel, so people have somewhere to go in between. Honestly, most people will figure it out and it’s completely normal for Catholics to have some time between the two events.

    Post # 5
    Member
    247 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I would go with the early afternoon wedding at the perfect church. The ‘important’ people will be there ofcourse. I would even prefer not so much people at the actual wedding … more intimate. And the reception/ party for all later that day! Just perfect.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2442 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    It is important to your fiance that more people attend the wedding because that is what is most important to him.  I don’t think you can ignore that on your wedding day. You seem to care more about the aesthetics.  He seems to care more about the ceremony. (Not trying to be mean.)  A few people see the beautiful church vs. a lot of people witnessing the union of two people in holy matrimony.  I think you should listen to your Fiance on this one.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    It’s you and your fiance’s day. Do what makes you happy. It is in no way selfish to pick the place and time that you want. Of course, if it creates conflict with your future hubby then you guys need to talk about that and perhaps come to a compromise. Good luck! 

    Something to think about…even if the ceremony is at the “perfect” time, some people may still not come. You can’t control what others do.

    Post # 8
    Member
    664 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I’m with your fiance on this one. I think it would be better to have the wedding later in the day so that the people you invite will be more likely to attend. But this is coming from the girl who’s getting married in a very ugly church. because it’s my FI’s church and that’s what’s important to him.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’m of 2 minds on this.  First off we had our ceremony at 230pm on Friday and that worked just fine for us, however it was a decision that we BOTH agreed on.  I think you and your Fiance need to talk this out and figure out what the right compromise is.  The wedding is about *both* of you after all.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    First of all, a church is not “a pretty backdrop”. It’s a house of worship and needs to be respected as one, so what it looks like shouldn’t matter. Are you getting married there because you belong to that church and it’s important to you or are you only choosing it to please family? Either way, it’s your wedding, not theirs. If all you care about is what the venue looks like, then find a non-church venue. At the same time, there is no reason that you can’t find a venue you love that has a suitable timeframe available.

    Officiants are available that will perform weddings anywhere you want, how you want, whether religious or not. They aren’t associated with churches so they don’t have the same strict rules that some denominations do, since they tend to forget that God created everything, not just man-made buildings, so a religious wedding or even a church service can be held outdoors just fine.

    Post # 11
    Member
    629 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I would go for the one that is at a more convenient time for your guests. I realize that it is about you getting married, first and foremost, but guests also play a very important role: they are their to support you and celebrate with you. You might get a lot less folks at the inconvenient time. If you are truly ok with that, then go for it. But weddings, to me, are about the people, not the setting.

    Post # 12
    Member
    916 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    This is tough. I picked a less convenient time in order to have the perfect church, but it was a Saturday (we ended up with 1:00, so there was a gap before our 5:00 reception).  Since yours is on a Friday, you do risk more people not attending.  

    In the end, I think it comes down to how important the location is for you.  Our church was where we attended together all through college, and when I first walked in as a freshman I just knew that I would get married there someday.  It didn’t hurt that it was beautiful. If I didn’t have that emotional attachment to it, though, that I had because it was such a large part of our courtship, I probably would not have been willing to have the more inconvenient time. 

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