(Closed) Perfect Man, Not-So-Perfect Proposal and Ring

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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@GreenSkittle:  We just had Valentine’s Day last week… I’m sure TONS of jewelry is on sale at that time, including all sorts of engagement rings.

He picked the ring with you in mind, because he wanted to marry you. Not because it was on sale. <3

Think of it this way- you should applaud him for being so smart with his money. He was able to get you a better ring than he would normally have been able to afford because he purchased one that was temporarily a lower price than it usually is.

Post # 19
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

After dinner a year ago, My Fiance got down on one knee in a park. I said ‘Oh my god’ and he said ‘Oh please, you knew it was coming. Will you marry me?’

I always leave his first line out when I tell my proposal story.  I was absolutely mortified and somewhat disappointed that he was so unromantic, but I laugh at it now. Some things aren’t perfect.  Guys don’t know we dream about that moment for our entire lives. My Fiance was soooo nervous, just as I’m sure your Fiance was very nervous & flustered when the band didn’t play the song he wanted.  The imperfections of a proposal makes it real and unique to you.  He could have read a ‘how to plan the perfect proposal’ in a magazine and copied it, but that would require no thought or planning or uniqueness on his part and wouldn’t be as special.

And the ring being on sale – it probably means he could stretch his budget a little more and get you something a little bigger/better than if it wasn’t on sale.  He probably was thinking you would like it more πŸ™‚

Congrats on getting engaged!!!!

Post # 20
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I feel for you. We have all these expectations of everything in life and how it is suppose to play out. When it doesn’t happen like it does in the movies or for other people that we know, we get really sad and disappointed. We forget that we are missing a beautiful moment, our moment that belongs to us. We forget to feel gratitude for the things we get to experience. It’s partially society’s fault for planting all these expacatations in our heads.

Try to think of it from your heart without labels and expectations. Do you love this man? Are you happy that he proposed to you? Are you happy you have a beautiful sparkly ring? If the answer is yes, then let yourself feel happy πŸ™‚ Enjoy this moment πŸ™‚

Post # 21
62 posts
Worker bee

I hate my proposal story. My fiance and I were lying on the couch watching tv when all of a sudden he said, “Let’s get married”. I was caught off guard, so I was like, “Really?” and he said “yeah” so I said “okay”. This was after five months of dating. He didn’t propose with a ring or even get down on one knee. After that talk, he went to pick out a ring for me. Ten months later, he paid off the ring. The night before he proposed, I got super mad  at him because he (in my opinion) was pretending to be sick to get out of going to my friend’s birthday. I had been so excited for him to come because he usually never agreed to go out with my friends, so I assumed he was making excuses. When he came over the next day, I was still so mad at him that I wouldn’t get up to answer the door. He let himself in, walked over to me where I was lying on the couch (barely looking at him), and got down on one knee and held out the ring. 

I thought the first story wasn’t great, but the second one was worse. And yes, it’s been two and a half year since he proposed “for real” and it does still bother me because I feel like he didn’t put any thought or effort into either proposal. At least your fiance had a really romantic plan for how he wanted to propose to you. He did want to make it special, and he was so excited to ask you that he didn’t want to wait any longer, which is sweet. And if you love your ring, the cost shouldn’t matter.  I mean, it sucks that it didn’t go the way that he planned or maybe the way you wanted, but you’re getting what you really wanted- he wants to marry you! So congrats on your engagement πŸ™‚

Post # 23
3038 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@IUrebekah3RT: Hihi! My Fiance didn’t close the box, but he did forget all the lines he had prepared! So he proposed in the most amazing setting, but then lost his words completely so it amounted to something like “And… I should tell you all these things right now… but my mind went blank”. It’s so cute, but it’s literally the FIRST TIME EVER I’ve seen him speechless. πŸ™‚


As much as I cherish the proposal, what I’m really look forward to is the ceremony. If you’re disappointed with the proposal, my advice is to focus on the wedding and make sure that’s as romantic as you hope!

Post # 25
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My fiance proposed in the kitchen by handing me the box and saying “Here’s your present.” He then stood there awkwardly for a few minutes before deciding to tell me “It’s an engagement ring.” I still give him crap because he’s never technically asked me to marry him.

So, yeah, my proposal story kinda sucks too. And there a lots of stories on here about girls who ruined their proposals, or guys who got too excited and just did it on the spur of the moment. As you’ve said, at the end of the day, you’re still engaged so it doesn’t really matter, but it can sting a bit when you measure it up against your expectations, or other people’s stories.

Post # 27
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think it’s normal to be a little “let down” when it doesn’t turn out to be the fairy tale you thought it would be – my Fiance proposed at 11:11 pm on 11-11-11. The number 11 is my lucky number and 11:11 is special to us (we always send an I love you text when we notice it’s 11:11). The problem was, it was a Friday night and he assumed we would be up way past 11:11 that evening. Unfortunately, I was totally oblivious and went to bed at 10:30. So my proposal was at 11:11 pm while half asleep in bed. He came in and started with “It’s 11:11 on 11-11-11…” and I looked sleepily at the clock which had just turned to 11:12 and said “No, it’s not!” in a really annoyed tone because I was trying to sleep. I pretty much ruined it. But I did wake up and celebrate with him afterwards!
I always tell people it is kind of fitting because I absolutely adore sleeping, and my Fiance jokes that the odds were in favour of me being in bed since I spend so much time there. πŸ™‚ But I can’t say I didn’t for a short moment wish it were a flash mob on Youtube kind of moment. lol 

Post # 28
2246 posts
Buzzing bee

Hey, you got way better than what I did!  DH and I sort of made a mutual decision that we wanted to get married.  He gave me, what I guess you would call a “promise ring” at Christmas, but told me he wasn’t ready to propose.  Valentine’s Day, he took the ring off of my finger in our bed, after we had eaten tons of Chinese food, and then said, “Will you?”  He didn’t even say a full sentence, or anything super romantic.  Just, “Will you?”  I said yes, and he put the ring back on my finger.  A year later, we were able to afford my actual, dream engagement ring.

But, I realize there is nothing I can do about it.  We can’t get re-engaged or anything, we’ve already gotten married!  Eventually, you’ll learn to let it go.  It just takes time.  The only thing you can do now is move forward. 

Post # 29
263 posts
Helper bee

I can honestly say of all the things I’ve pre-planned and imagined, my proposal is not one of them. As for everything else, OP, you summed it up in the first two words of your thread title. He’s your “perfect man.”  In your life, there will be a lot of things that end up being less than perfect. Your roof might leak, your tire might go flat, and in ten years, your wedding won’t even matter…but your “perfect man” will always be there. Remember how much you love HIM. 

Post # 30
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s super hard to NOT have some jealousy with other Bee’s on here posting about their elaborate proposals and beautiful rings.

HOWEVER…your proposal was yours…not theirs. Your proposal came from his heart. 

I imagine he also spent his hard-earned money and time picking out that ring for you. 

I think in time, the envy will wear off. 

Post # 31
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@Hyperventilate:  I don’t know that your “abnormal” persay, but every relationship is different. If someone fell in love with a person whose personality is more romantic, thoughtful, etc. than why would they expect anything less for a proposal? Personally, I think it’s important to keep the romance alive and look for the same in my partner…relationships take work and spice to keep them fun and long lasting (for me anyways)…a proposal is a life changing event, so if your partner is the type of person I described, why would the OP expect anything less than the man she fell in love with proposing to her in a way that best reflects his personality and the relationship they have together?

…just my thoughts in response to your position.

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