Post # 62
i’ll be honest with … i kinda didnt like my ring either and the proposal was um – well he gave me a birthday card and it was written in there. but the ring has become very special and i dont think i would have had it any other way – the proposal was him and he spent time and effort picking out what he thought would be perfect. he was so nervous – he looked like he was crying.
i love him – i love my ring and i love how he proposed. i wouldnt change it now … give it a few days – you’ll be like why would i want anything else. trust me.
Post # 63
@GreenSkittle: You are not a brat. You had hopes and expectations for that day that weren’t fulfilled, and that makes you sad. That’s okay. It doesn’t take away your love for your FI or for your ring. You know what happened to me? I had a lovely proposal BUT my DH proposed with a $10 Claire’s ring. Lol. Yes, a $10 ring. It wasn’t exactly my dream ring, but at the end of the day, I WAS FINALLY ENGAGED. I WAS GETTING MARRIED! MARRIED!!!!!!! That’s so, so exciting. Once the wedding comes the proposal won’t even matter anymore, honestly.
We eventually upgraded my ring to what I thought would be my “dream ring” after my $10 ring fell apart.. a 4CTW moissanite blingy ring. I was ecstatic at first, I no longer needed to be jealous of all of those bees’ gorgeous rings. Lo and behold, a couple of months after having it, I was tired of having such a big piece of jewelry on my hand that was always getting dirty and getting in the way and catching onto my clothes and hair. It was nothing like my promise ring that I had had when I was younger- it was beautiful, small, and never got in the way (sadly, I lost that ring). People oooo and ahh’d over the dream ring for the first week or two.. then it just got old. It wasn’t all that I had expected it to be.
I picked out that dream ring of mine, and it ended up having no sentimental value to me. It didn’t represent love to me- just flashiness. The ring that my DH gave to me all those years ago.. my promise ring, meant something to me. He didn’t have barely any money and he saved up and spent it all on me, on a ring he thought I would love. I was so proud to have a DH that loved me enough to do that. I wish so badly that I could have that ring back and wear it as my engagement ring today. I ended up selling my dream ring and ended up wearing a plain wedding band. Trust me, the whole engagement ring dies down quickly.
If you were disappointed with the proposal, then tell him to do it again! Seriously, there are no rules saying you can’t get engaged twice. Tell him what you had hoped for for that day and ask him to surprise you with that proposal one day. I ended up not having the wedding of my dreams.. but oh well, my husband and I are going to do it again (private vow renewal)! Lol.
Your FIANCE (omg!) is obviously so in love with you that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Now THAT is something to be happy about! 🙂 There are so many more special moments to be had with him in the future… your wedding, anniversaries, babies (if you want them), vacations. Don’t let this one moment of not being perfect get to you honey!
Post # 64
Your ring is beautiful! It does sound like he did the best that he could under the circumstances of the band failing to play the song and what he could afford with his part-time salary. It’s ok, I know you’re not a brat and you’re just venting! I think most women have some natural disappointment over the actual ring and proposal. Now go and enjoy being ENGAGED. 🙂
Post # 65
oh your ring is so nice and unique!! how could somebody call that just a “promise ring” and not an E-ring?! so silly! It looks like a good size too. Not so big that it’s gaudy or gets in the way and not so small that people don’t realize it’s an Engagement Ring. I’m sure it cost him a pretty penny, even on sale. Why don’t you ask him how he decided to choose that ring? I bet there’s a good story for why he thought it was the perfect ring for you. good luck! =)
Post # 66
I also realize most of my feeling disappointed was because I always just took for granted the fact that we were going to get engaged and get married. To me it was like, no duh! So because I wasn’t concerned about the IF I built up a lot of expectations for the when and how of it. But it the end, it really was romantic and wonderful, as was yours!
Post # 67
If he spent all his money on it and it was on sale, he got the best he could for his money, right? Sounds like a good guy. I love the in the car proposal story, it sounds intimate and romantic, if not just a bit awkward. My husband propsed in our spare bedroom/office. It was perfect – for us.
Post # 68
Thanks, everyone! Your responses have helped me see how special the proposal and ring are. It’s our story and that’s what makes it so special!
Post # 69
The whole “disappointing proposal” theme really got me thinking . . .
At what point in history, I wonder, did the concept of how the proposal was delivered start to overshadow the more important fact of the proposal taking place at all? Is it because of things we’ve seen in movies and on social media? And what is the motivation for wanting an elaborately staged proposal, anyway? So that we’ll have a good story to tell?
And how important is that, really?
The other thing I’ve been pondering is what our priorities are in a husband. Do we want someone who loves us utterly and unconditionally and who is our very best friend, through thick and thin?
Or do we mostly want a man who is also a talented event planner? Which is what those over-the-top proposals are – just well-planned events.
I really love all these “underwhelming” proposal stories – they are so cute, so intimate, and so very real.
Post # 70
That’s SO true. I was talking to my mom about the situation and she said that she knows several couples who had over-the-top proposals, but horrible marriages. That’s not to say that everyone who has a romantic proposal ends up getting divorced, because of course that isn’t true, but it goes to show you that being stereotypically romantic isn’t everything. Every man is romantic in his own way. It got me thinking and made me realize that even though my proposal wasn’t what I’d always dreamed of, my fiancé and our relationship are, and that’s what’s important.
Post # 71
my now fiance proposed to me at our favorite fried chicken place. he literally got down on one knee in the parking lot. afterwards we spent the weekend at a five star hotel but for awhile i was slightly embarrassed about our actual ‘proposal’ story. now i think it’s funny and has character and not ashamed to tell people how he asked me to marry him.
Post # 72
i dont think you sound like a brat at all… You have been waiting for that moment youre whole life!! As for the ring i get it.. But if you think about it even though its not an “e-ring” it has same qualities.. Diamond and proposal. imo hes smart for getting promise ring!!! e-rings automatically jack up the price.
Co grats btw
Post # 73
He gave it to you as an engagement ring so it is an engagement ring. And my fiance got my ring on sale too.
And by the time my fiance proposed I would have taken a proposal in a dumpster.
You’re engaged. getting married. That’s all that really matters. 🙂
Post # 74
1. Your proposal is sweet.
2. Love your ring for being yours. Also, its different, pretty and elegant.
Post # 75
Do not lingering on the disappointment any more, and make plan for your wedding. The proposal is done, and u can arrange the wedding with him, just make the big day amazing.
Post # 76
This is a common issue for women who are newly engaged. Women who have never been engaged can’t understand it, and a lot of engaged women deny feeling it. I think these forums can feed into the engagement-anxiety a lot of women have, as most women who post are posting about the spectacular engagements that they had.
My engagement was boring. I DID pick out my ring beforehand, and to be honest, it still kind of irritates me when they compliment him on choosing the ring. It makes me feel like we’re being dishonest…and my sense of style is ignored! 😀 I worry that one day it’ll come up and they’ll look at us like we have three heads, which knowing my fiance’s very traditional family – they probably would.
But I digress, OP. We went out to a Thai restaurant on a blazing 95 degree day last summer. It was a Thai restaurant we always went to, so nothing special. Afterward, he insisted on going walking at the riverfront park nearby. It’s scenic, but it’s nothing crazy unusual. We sat down on a bench – he thought it was the same bench where we had shared our first kiss nearly 4 years earlier, but I don’t remember – and he asked me to marry him. There were no other frills.
I was disappointed for a few months afterwards. No, I wasn’t interested in an Eiffel tower proposal either. But I had hoped for a weekend getaway. Or just going somewhere unusual or romantic. My fiance admitted that he wanted it done with and he was worried I would find the ring, so he had to rush to propose.
Over time, these feelings DO tend to fade. Now I look back and I’m happy about the proposal that we had. Sure, I still kind of wish it had all gone a little differently, but we’re getting married in a few weeks, and there’s still so much more to look forward to. I think you will get over this with time.