(Closed) Person says "Don't invite me."

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I guess it’s a little awkward, but some people would rather just save you the trouble of an invite if they know they will just be declining. It’s not a big deal.

Post # 4
Member
227 posts
Helper bee

Yeah, the bluntness definitely would’ve taken me aback, as well! But yeah, I guess he figured he’d save you guys the trouble of sending an invite that they would decline. Hopefully he wishes you guys well in a different way. 

Post # 5
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I have one girlfriend who’s RSVP’d yes for 2, and now that she and her Boyfriend or Best Friend are having issues, she might not come at all, because she won’t know anyone else (and she’s local- can take a cab to the venue). Two weeks before the wedding- grrrr!

Post # 6
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree it’s a little blunt, but it could also be taken as kind if sweet of the coworker, to free up a space for someone else. Certainly he could have said something about how nice it was to be thought of. All the same, I doubt it’s intended rudely.

Post # 7
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@rebwana:  I can also see her not wanting to celebrate a long term relationship with hers just going down the tubes but I still kinda think it’s selfish.  I would totally go to a wedding alone if I had to because it’s not about me, you know what I mean?

OP, he did you a favor.  Save the $ for the honeymoon.

Post # 8
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wonder if it is b/c technically etiquette wise if you’re invited you’re supposed to get a gift?  Maybe that is why he simply didn’t want an invite instead of RSVPing no?  Either way that is blunt and AWKWARD.  I guess it is for the best he isn’t coming!

Post # 9
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I guess the good thing is that they saved you a stamp? 

Post # 10
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Maybe he was trying to save you botht he time and money of sending an invite by being honest and straightforward with his intentions. That doesn’t mean it was rude, or even negatively blunt. He could have also been thinking along the same likes that made your fiance go back and forth about even inviting this person. 

Guests who are invited to a wedding (or even that you are thinking of inviting) are not obligated to share your special day with you. As an introvert myself I can say for certain that it IS awkward not knowing anyone at a wedding. 

There are better things to worry about than this. It isn’t a big deal at all. Your wedding is not as special an event to other people as it is to you. People aren’t going to be climbing over themselves trying to get an invite. And there will be people who don’t want to go.

Honesty is not rudeness. And if you don’t “expect such bluntness”, what do you expect? If this person wasn’t originally on the “we definitely need to invite” list, he isn’t really a friend who should have to suck it up and go to a wedding where he doesn’t know anyone else.

Post # 11
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You don’t even know/like them that well, as you were going back and forth between whether or not to invite them… I would appreciate the honesty and move on. Now, if they were tippy top of the A list and came back with that, I would be upset because then it would mean the friendship meant more to me (you) than it did to them.

Post # 12
Member
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

bit of lame response given that you can get talking to people you don’t know, that’s one of the fun things when you go to events where a mix of people are put together. At least you can cross them off your list now …

Post # 13
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

They’ve done you a favour ultimately. To be honest i wish more people were as straight forward as this lol!

Post # 14
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Strange but 1 less envelope to address!

Post # 15
Member
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Haha defnitely bizarre, but I think they were trying to be nice in their own awkward way. 😛

The topic ‘Person says "Don't invite me."’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors