Post # 1
So I thought I made it clear to my BF that I did not want to get engaged when I was pregnant, well at 7 months along he proposed. I of course was disappointed but knew I wanted to marrry him and knew it didn’t matter when he proposed! Because I didn’t think we would get engaged till after we welcomed our little girl I didn’t give any hints to what kind of ring I wanted. The ring wasn’t what I would have picked but knew the meaning of it, but after the pregnancy my ring size went down two sizes and the ring setting was huge on my little finger. I’m athletic and didn’t feel like this was a ring I could wear all the time. It didn’t help that my FH called it costume jewelry not once but three times. I finally told my FH and at first he was hurt then said we are getting a different one. He refused to help me pick out the new one now I feel guilty that’s it’s not the one he proposed with and picked out for me. Thinking of trying to get original ring back. Help, I don’t know how to get past this
Post # 2
I dont understand the not wanting a proposal while pregnant. If the old ring is gone then it’s not worth the drama to track it down and then return the new one. A ring is a ring and no matter what you pick out some will like it and others hate it but I could never tell my boyfriend to take back the ring he picked out, that sounds super selfish honestly because even if you dont like it, youd get used to it. No matter what you do, make up your mind before you mess with his mind more.
Post # 3
So you currently have the new ring? At this point I’d just leave it. I really don’t think you’ll alieviate any hurt feelings by going back to the old ring, because he (and you) will always remember that you didn’t like it and wanted/did change it. So just keep this one and remember it’s just an item and isnt intrinsically tied to your relationship.
Post # 4
I’d honestly be pretty annoyed if my SO picked out a ring without ever asking me what my preference was, so I don’t really fault you for being bothered that he got something that you don’t feel comfortable wearing on a daily basis and looks like costume jewelery.
Can you do anything with the current ring, like change the setting, but use the same stone? Hard to make suggestions without knowing what you’re working with.
ETA I didn’t realize you no longer had the original ring, woops
Post # 5
If you pick out bands together that might be a nice comprimise
Post # 6
This sounds like not just a ring problem but that you and your fiance are maybe not communicating very well about things? It might help to sit down and have an honest conversation with each other about your feelings and what you want your future to be.
Post # 7
I’d suggest picking a wedding band that you love (and that is a style that works for your athletic lifestyle), and keeping the original engagement ring.
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
I wouldn’t try and get the old one back, He knows you didn’t like it and he would think you only got it back to please him and that your really not happy with it (which is true). He problary dosen’t want to help with another ring because the first one he picked out didn’t fit your lifestyle and he problary feels like he failed, so why bother. Like the other bee’s said maybe a nice wedding band would help.