(Closed) personal question, premature ejaculation?

posted 9 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

We have not had this issue, but I think he should see a doctor. It could be a number of things, and I’m guessing that he is right about the exhaustion. I’m also guessing that he stresses himself out so much worrying that it’s going to happen, that it does. Going to see a doctor and ruling out medical issues should help. Besides that, I think it might be worth reiterating how sexy you find him, and maybe “taking control” a little. Just a thought. πŸ™‚ 

Post # 4
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m guessing your not in australia…. every 2nd ad on the radio is “does your partner suffer from premature ejaculation?” and then we have MASSIVE billboards that say “WHAT LONGER LASTING SEX?” some nasal delivery thing.

But yeah a doctor would be the best thing to do πŸ™‚

Good Luck!

Post # 5
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Honestly, my man is like that too.  Thank God he will never see this post or this website,otherwise he would kill me! LOL.  But the way we seemed to have fixed it somewhat is if we have sex twice in a row.  Second time always last a lot longer.  Granted, it’s not a medical resolution, but it seems to work so far.

Post # 7
Member
45 posts
Newbee

Definitely see a doctor.  There might be some physical problem that needs addressed, and if that’s not the case, there are some medications that can be prescribed to help delay ejaculation.

Post # 8
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

How soon does he orgasm after penetration is initiated? Is it a few seconds or a few minutes? One thing to remember, movies and television really portray sex in a unrealistic light (because it’s make believe in Hollywood!). There is this distorted idea that vaginal intercourse is supposed to last for hours. That not necessarily the case and without proper lubrication, ouch! That would really begin to hurt!

Have you and your partner tried using condoms? Sometimes that decreases sensitivity.

Also, it may not necessarily be a medical issue. I assume that he now gets pretty anxious when he thinks of having sex. He wants it to last longer, but he knows he may not be able to control it, he probably wonders if he is satisfying you and then he may start thinking “what’s the point of doing it, it’s going to be over too quickly…” and the cycle just keeps repeating. 

So, rule out anything medical first, but he may also want to consider seeing a therapist if this continues and there is nothing physically wrong with him. 

Post # 9
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That’s tough. It could be medical, psychological, or both. Hopefully he will decide to go to the doctor. Let him know that this is very common. I just did a quick check at the mayo clinic website and it says that as many as 1 in 3 men deal with premature ejaculation in their lifetime. good luck.

 

Post # 10
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t know if you mean that it happens in minutes or seconds like Birdie Love says.  My husband will orgasm pretty quickly if we are having quick sex (within minutes) so I have to slow him down or be on top so that I have control over the motions of sex.  If it is quickly, like a few seconds, you really should get him to go to a doctor.  That really isn’t normal and he could have a serious problem.

Post # 11
Member
5153 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@missAsB I completely, totally second that.

My fh will be quick…IF the sex we are having is quick errr a “quickie” but if it is within secs that isn’t normal. see a doctor and they can absolutly help you πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

At this point, it’s probably psychological because he’s anticipating it and stressing over it. I really doubt there’s anything physically wrong with him.

The first link has information about the stop-start technique, but also does he masturbate? That usually helps too.

Q&A: How To Last Longer In Bed And Stop Premature Ejaculation

Q&A: Premature Ejaculation And Decreased Arousal

 

Post # 13
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

It’s probably psychological.  Even though you both hate condoms you could try the Trojan extended pleasure condoms.

Post # 15
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Did you try changing positions? That helps too and also, when he is about to eject, pull it out and squeeze it real tight! Trust me, this works! When I first met Fiance it happened and he was so embarassed, then I did research and heard that the squeeze method helps and now its the best thing ever! We use the squeeze method when im giving him oral too! Good luck

Post # 16
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If he wants to try condoms etc. first, I’ve seen commercials for durex condoms that have a special densensitizing lubrication inside (I’m pretty sure they’re called performax).  I’ve never used them but if he is really afraid of the doctor’s, it might be worth a try!  Good luck.  I know a lot of men feel uncomfortable going to the doctor.

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