(Closed) Personal Question! Sex Life

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Has anything happened in the relationship that can be straining to either of you guys, like cheating, sickness, work overload, children, etc? How was your sex life before? Have you tried being spontaneous? Are both of you all open minded? 

Post # 4
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Are either of you on SSRI anti-depressants? 

Post # 6
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

It’s perfectly normal for your sex life to decrease as time goes on… That said it’s only a problem if one or both of you think it’s a problem.  My husband is 32 and I am 26 and we have sex about once a month, sometimes more sometimes less… I would prefer is we had more sex, but it’s usually not too much of a problem.

I know for us it doesn’t have to do with lack of affection or sexual feelings for eachother, my husband just works a lot and has a pretty steressful job so when he comes home he doesn’t feel like doin the deed.  And him and I work opposite schedules so I’m asleep when he does come home and busy when he wakes up in the afternoon.

My advice is discuss it and see if either of you are bothered by your current sexual relationship and if not then it’s not a problem… if so, then try to figure out what isn’t working, whether is stress, schedules etc.  But don’t worry that it isn’t “normal”, there is no normal and as long as everyone is happy there is nothing to worry about!

Post # 7
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m 26 and I’ve been in 3 “long term” (more than a year) relationships.. this has happened with all of them. Not saying it’s normal, but I can relate.  Sometimes I feel like we are stuck in the same routine and need to be more spontaneous, it’s hard with Fiance working full time, getting his masters degree and us having 2 small children (one of them being 5 months old). By 9pm we are tired! lol

Post # 9
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@lanny:  I’ve told him what I like, but he always goes back to his old ways, which don’t work for me. I’ve asked him to do things as simple as kissing my neck, but he will do it once then not again. I think I’ve become kind of resentful of the fact that sex is all about him and that even though I’ve let him know what I like, he still does what works best for him.

There’s your trouble. Until this is fixed, the sex life won’t improve, and neither will your relationship. He needs to give as much as he gets!!

Post # 10
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@lanny:  birth control made my sex drive 100% non existant. i’m not sure if it does that to everyone though, it also made me an irritable crazy person lol.

Post # 11
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What mightywombat said.

Post # 12
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Talk to your guy. It’s easy for life to just get in the way. If you want more sex make a concious effort. Set a night and a time. Maybe make it a date night? Think about it during the day to get yourself in the mood. Maybe read a sexy story? 

Post # 13
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@mightywombat:  THIS!

@lanny:  Until he is able to focus on you and your needs in the bedroom your sex life is not goin to improve. I think you need to have a serious convo with him about what your needs are, how they aren’t being met, and how all of that is afftecting you and your relationship.

Post # 15
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

One possible way to try to rekindle the spark: Have a night that is specifically designated to be All About You. Where the only goal is for him to make you feel turned on, excited, and satisfied. I know my man would be excited to do this, and I would think any man who loves his partner would feel the same way.

Post # 16
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

@mightywombat:  I agree.  It isn’t right that it is all about his pleasure and not about your own.  The best partners care about their partner first before themselves.

The topic ‘Personal Question! Sex Life’ is closed to new replies.

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