Post # 1
Today I met up with a personal trainer at my gym for a free session you get with your membership (although I’ve been a member for a year and a half, I never did mine). The session was amazing. I’ve been working out regularly for the past few months with the wedding as a nice motivating factor, but I have been thinking of stepping it up. Anyways, it was awesome. The trainer and I got along really well and I feel like it could help me reach goals I’ve had for over 10 years (I’ve always been heavier than I’d like). So I bought a package of 20 sessions, a good chunk of change.
The Fiance and I had discussed starting with a 3 session ‘Try Pack’. Well the package I bought cost like up more than 10x more than that. On top of that I haven’t been working since October, although we are doing fine, I just feel guilty about it with the wedding coming up. I am freaking out about telling him. It is something I really want to do for myself and think he should understand that, but at the same time the money(!).
How would you tell your FI? Any advice?
Post # 3
Does he need to know?
Reason for telling could be that you want support in your decision, after all you just invested a lot of $. Another reason for telling is that you share finances already and he might wonder about the $. Also, if you do keep with the working out, it might be something you want to do longer term than just in prep for the wedding. And in that case, at least he can know about this important investment.
Reason for not telling, you are doing it for you, that is so you’ll feel better and in the end the results of all your time and $ will be a surprise to him, not that he won’t see you and your progress along the way. However, training could you started in a life long habit of going to the gym and you might not need a trainer again. Also, if you don’t share finances and you already have a wedding budget, maybe this is part of it.
As for "how to tell him"….
Honey, there is something that is really important to me and I’d like your support on it….
you could then list the benefits, which besides the obvious heart healthy stuff is also lower stress levels, better sleep patterns, less moody, better shape for having children, fighting osteoporosis.
I told my FH about my microdermabrasion. He’s supportive, however he doesn’t like the idea of chemical peels but says that if it makes me happy then I should do it. I am thankful he never mentions the cost.
with both the working out and telling the FH.
Post # 4
Do you and your Fiance share finances that much? Because if I spent $500 on something like that, I don’t think my Fiance would care…i do stuff for myself here and there. I get my nails done, buy expensive makeup and face product, get haircolors, etc. But my Fiance and i don’t 100% share finances either and i feel like i’m entitled to girl stuff. He, however, eats out all the time. You can spin that a lot of different ways depending on how you two handle your finances.
Look at it like an investment in yourself. I think a personal trainer is one of the best things you can give yourself. It’s good FOR you, not just makes you look good. Tell him how HOT your’e going to look! And how confident. Confidence is key! He’ll love how you feel when you’re so happy with your body.
I’d just come right out, tell him it’s important, maybe skirt the money issue and tell him it’s not near as important as how happy you are to be making a positive life step like this. If he’s upset, tell him you’ll just be extra careful watching your money. Make sure you don’t go shopping and spend too much and be careful in general, like saying no to the wine at dinner! There’s alwyas a way to afford it.
Post # 5
Well, I agree with the two people above if you do have mostly separate finances. My Fiance and I have completely separate finances for now, and still plan on having separate accounts for personal stuff in addition to a joint household account after we get married.
One thing to point out, though: Financial decisions are a major reason for marital conflict and divorce. If you can’t talk with your Fiance about these things now, imagine what will happen when you get married! You should already be at the point in your relationship where you should feel comfortable talking about things like that.
I think ultimately there’s a part of your own self that feels really guilty about splurging. I know that feeling, because there’s been splurges I’ve made even with the wedding coming up. Still, I think most of the guilt is on my side, not my FI’s. We talk about how I feel about these expenses, and he’s able to be supportive but firm when we discuss how it affects our finances.
I think no matter his reaction, take it as a learning experience. Knowing how to deal with financial stresses will really benefit your relationship and make your marriage stronger!
Post # 6
By The Way…side note…my biggest expense every month is my gym/personal training cost, but it’s totally worth it! I could never get the results that I have(and no doubt will have by October for my wedding) without my trainer!
Post # 7
I think it’s great that you are doing this. I began working out with a personal trainer 5 months ago and my Fiance supported me all the way. I am a full time student, so Fiance has been paying for the last few months and he is great about it. He says whatever makes me happy he will support. My goal is toning. I have never been over weight, but I want more muscle tone in my body and working out with a personal trainer has helped me trremendously. SO Good for you! Just tell him, if it makes you feel good about yourself and in the long run benefits him as well he will be fine with it. Good Luck!
Post # 8
The way I look at it is this… this is a LIFETIME change for you. Working with the PT will make you happier with yourself emotionally and physically and most likely, no matter how much it costs.. your honey will think its totally worth it to see the changes in you. I think its totally worth every single penny for a trainer.. if it makes you feel better about yourself! Plus.. think of it as a wedding expense.. how much more confident and happy will you feel on the wedding day with your new healthy/tone body?
Its totally worth it girl and just explain that to your man.. he loves you and should understand.
Post # 9
hehe you sound like me. I never can keep any of my purchases from my Fiance though 🙂 I would just be upfront with him. Say you know you discussed just a 3 session package but in reality you are going to be saving money in the long run. If he is anything like my Fiance, he will probalby say, welp you better go and don’t slack off!
Post # 10
I know how you feel. I have been with a personal trainer for over a year now and I can’t imagine not having one now. I’m not very motivated to research exercises myself so it’s great to have someone tell me what I should do to work the areas that need to be work. I try to spend less on other things in order to reduce the guilt I feel about the amount I spend on personal training. We don’t have completely seperate finances but we have seperate credit cards that we use for personal expenses. As long as we spend under a set amount each month, we don’t fight over it.
Post # 11
Things actually turned out really well. My Fiance was amazing about it, he said he trusted me and that was basically it. But we made some ground rules for the future for both of us, so if one of us wants to spend more than a certain amount on something we discuss it. Our finances are already combined; we’ve been living together for 2 years and since I’m not working, it makes sense. We generally talk about everythink, which was why I was freaking out. So we learned a lesson, which is good.
I have my first session tomorrow!