(Closed) personal…any submissive bees out there?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hmm I am definately more submisive in the bedroom than in real life lol. We tell people I wear the pants around the house and he wears them in the bedroom.. (not actual pants obviously lol) Its the one place I dont want to be totally in control. As far as BDSM we havent tried that so I have no experience or advice for you there. 

Post # 6
Member
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@organizedbride11: That’s how it is with us as well.

I try to take the reigns once in awhile, but I like it when he’s the dominant one.  It drives me wild.

Post # 7
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This is a little embarrasing, but I didnt even know what BDSM was, so I just googled it.. lol But I would say he is usually the dominient one, he can be really controlling in bed sometimes. But I like to change it up sometime too 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@alyssa742:  neither do i??!!! is is bondage? Fiance (when we had sex, we are waiting until the wedding 113 days left!) def is a king in the bed!! I freaking love it!

Post # 9
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yep.  You’re not alone.  I’m a submissive as well.  There’s an entire BDSM community on Fetlife.  If you’re interested in BDSM, I’d recommend going to some community meetings in your area; they’re not all sex parties/dungeons.  Plenty are just dinners out with friends.  Or read some blogs on the topic.  There are tons of resources.  I find it helpful to learn about other people’s perspectives on the subject.  People get into BDSM for lots of different reasons.

Introduction into this sort of thing can be very overwhelming, so take your time and remember that it’s your life/relationship.  There’s no right way to do this — as long as it works for you and your partner.  There is a wrong way — being forced into something against your will.  If you’re interested in some links/more info, PM me.

Post # 10
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ok well Ill just come out and say it.. lol what is BDSM?

Post # 13
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Mrsgurzakovic:  No prob.  Feel free to ask away.  🙂  I just recommend the wiki as an introduction.

Post # 14
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I am an infrequent poster and very frequent lurker. I decided to go undercover to answer.

I am not submissive but am naturally more dominant. My SO is a submissive and is very naturally so in the bedroom only. Outside of the bedroom, he is a little more dominant than I am… but I still tend to get my way. 🙂 I am naturally vanilla but have learned to enjoy a lot of BDSM-related things from learning about my SO and wanting to accomodate his needs. What makes him happy makes me happy.

Like a previous poster mentioned, I, too, definitely recommend FetLife, which is essentially the Facebook for kinky people. There are a lot of groups there (essentially forums) on given topics, and I’ve learned a lot by posting but mainly by reading others’ posts. I’d also recommend reading books by Gloria Brame (such as Different Loving or Come Hither), which are excellent introductions to S&M. Don’t get overwhelmed by the information, though, or the diversity of people you may see on FetLife. Your involvement in BDSM is what you want it to be.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk!

Post # 16
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’ll freely admit that I’m submissive. Mostly because I’m a little too unsure of myself to be dominant. I always feel like an idiot when I try to take control, so I’m lazy and would rather let him do all the work.

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